Ramblings of a Fool for Life

Don't Force on Me Your Right to Waiver Your Right.

2011-11-24T20:36:00.004+02:00

If you think that the current demonstrations enforce instability, insecurity, chaos and fear in our society, as opposed to what you believe was stability, security, order, and safety pre-revolution, well I have news: that sham we were living was neither stability, nor security, and it was certainly no where proper order or safety when a police officer can stop your care anywhere, anytime no questions asked, and do anything from mildly harass and intimidate you, all the way to detain you... just because you can.

Stability isn't a complete disregard of your most basic civil rights, such as: decent housing, effective education, and clean streets, and useable public transportation, for the sake of lining specific "privileged" pockets.

Security isn't living in fear of the ominous "other", whether that other is different religiously, socially, politically, geographically, or whatever else you can think of, for the sake of securing and protecting the ruling regime and its interests.

Please differentiate between band-aid solutions and distraction tactics, and between flushing an injury clean, and looking at at the real depth of the infection and dealing with it.

Band-aid solutions are fast and neat, and distraction tactics are just easier on the brain; while flushing an injury is longer and messier, and you might not like what you find, but it prepares you to look at what is really there, and to take charge, which is something most of us have never done before when it comes to this country.

Having someone else tell us how certain things should be, is easier and simpler and a viable option, but it's not the right one if you seek freedom of will and responsibility of choice.

Like I said, it's your choice, and we don't have to agree on it, but don't force on me your right to waiver your right.

الخراب

2011-11-24T15:42:00.004+02:00

الخراب ليس التظاهر من أجل الكرامة
الخراب هو اهانة الكرامة

الخراب ليس مؤازرة المصابين و أسر الشهداء المعتصمين
الخراب هو فض اعتصام ناس عزل مصابين يبحثون عن حقوقهم بعنف وبدون سابق انذار

الخراب ليس اعتصام مفتوح في التحرير الى حين الرد على المطالب
الخراب هو قتل وهتك أعراض المصريين

الخراب ليس الدفاع عن النفس بالطوب ولجان شعبية
الخراب هو الدفاع عن منشآت على حساب أرواح أبرياء

الخراب ليس التضحية بكل ماهو غال من أجل مبدأ حق
الخراب هو التضحية بكل ما هو غال من أجل سلطة أو مصلحة شخصية

الخراب ليس تغليب المصلحة العامة على المصلحة الخاصة
الخراب هو تغليب المصلحة الخاصة على المصلحة العامة

الخراب ليس محاسبة من أخطأ أيا كان منصبه ومكانته
الخراب هو تأليه من هو دون الله

الخراب ليس البدأ من نقطة البداية الصحيحة حتى لو كانت صعبة المنال، متمثلة في سيادة القانون المطبق على الجميع على حد سواء، وكرامة الشعب المصري وحقه في العيش الكريم، ومحاسبة ممثليه
الخراب هو التضحية بالبداية الصحيحة من أجل سراب متمثل في أكذوبة أمن واستقرار قامع وعلى حساب حقوق المصريين وكرامتهم

الخراب ليس الثبوت على المبدأ
الخراب هو أنصاف الحقائق

الخراب ليس قول حق عند سلطان جائر
الخراب هو الكذب وتضليل الحقائق، وقول حق مراد به باطل

الخراب ليس البحث عن الحقيقة
الخراب هو تعطيل العقل

Do you Want to be Eaten?

2011-11-24T12:52:00.006+02:00

If you think that it's justifiable for people to get injured, killed or sexually violated (and by none other than the people whose prime objective is to protect them and make sure no harm comes to them), just because someone or some people think that these people shouldn't be in a particular place (or act in a certain way, or dress like that, or breathe this loudly), then what's to say that the same thing won't happen to you if someone or some people don't think you should be somewhere... maybe your home (or that you should act a certain way, or dress like that, or breath that loudly). Where do you draw the line?

If you decide to throw someone to the wolves, or under the bus, or any other metaphor you prefer, because it's more convenient for you, then what makes you think that someone else won't do the same with you if it's convenient for them? Did you ever hear about the White Bull story? Allow me...

It's the story of four bulls: one white, one red, and one black and one yellow, who were owned by a great elephant who died and left them, and their wealth, at a loss, because they never knew how to look after themselves (and if they were honest, they would rather be taken care of than learning how to do it themselves). They decided to look for another owner. They decided on a strong lion they found roaring in the poorer section of the forest. They offer him their deeds of ownership. He agrees and asks them to take him back to their richer section.

One morning Yellow Bull and Red Bull go on a visit, leaving Black Bull and Red Bull home to graze, while Lion looks on in what could've been considered a calculating gaze. Black Bull notices and goes to his side inviting him to join the graze. Lion declines by reason that he should stay in his position to think about the welfare of their kingdom. Black Bull offers Lion his services to aid in any way he can. Taking him on his offer, Lion asks Black Bull: "Tell me the truth my adviser, don't you think that the whiteness of your brother bull is very shiny and could possibly attract hunters? Don't you think he stands out and could be a danger to our peace and safety?"
"Yes indeed, sire" agreed Black Bull. "Do you want me to expel him from our kingdom... for our safety?"
"Oh no, don't do that. I don't want anyone to think I'm an unfair ruler"
"What is your wish, sire?"
"Bring him to me. I am not hungry now, but I think for the sake of our safety I should eat him. When your brothers return we can tell them that he decided to follow them and hasn't returned yet. Maybe he got lost or killed."
"Your wish, sire" agreed Black Bull.

And so Lion ate White Bull, while Black Bull looked away, deciding that extreme times demand extreme measures.

When Red Bull and Yellow Bull asked about White Bull upon their return, Black Bull explained to them, with great concern, how he might be lost or killed, after deciding to follow them and never returning.

One morning Red Bull looked extra shiny in the eyes of Lion. He complained to his advisor, Black Bull, about how in his day he used to attack shiny red bulls, and how he's worried that because of Red Bull's hide they might all be in danger of being attacked by hunters or lions. "I am worried I might not be able to protect us" explained Lion. "I am weak, and haven't eaten in a while. What do you advise me, oh wise Viceroy?"
"Eat, Red Bull, sire, so you can get stronger and can protect us. We can't afford Red Bull to be a threat to our safety."

And so Lion ate Red Bull, while Black Bull looked away, deciding that extreme times demand extreme measures.

A while later Black Bull noticed Lion was growing very weak and sad. "What bothers you, sire?" Black Bull asked.
"I worry about our kingdom. It is growing poor and our population is increasing. Yellow Bull has many wives and many children. Tell me my adviser, what do you think if I ate Yellow Bull and bequeathed you his wives, so you can make sure with your infinite wisdom that our population growth can be regulated?"
"What a great idea, sire! Very wise indeed" Black Bull replied in great satisfaction.

And so Lion ate Red Bull, while Black Bull looked away, deciding that extreme times demand extreme measures.

One day Lion noticed how weak Black Bull was. "What ails you, Black Bull?"
"I am too weak to tend everything on my own, sire. Our kingdom grows poorer and poorer, our numbers grow less and less, and I can't satisfy my many wives."
"It is better that the kingdom's population is less, especially that I am too weak to tend to them" replied Lion "I am very hungry, and you look very delicious, Black Bull"
Lion pounced on Black Bull to eat him.
Black Bull's last words were: "I was eaten the day my brother White Bull was eaten."

Do you get it yet? I don't want to be eaten. Do you?

How Will New Egypt be Portrayed in Mainstream Media?

2011-04-20T06:48:00.003+02:00

So I was watching the movie 2012 and one idea kept recurring to me, not for the first time I might add, but not as wishful thinking this time, but rather as a very possible almost taste-able, touch-able and kiss-able reality, that if Hollywood does another movie like that in let's say maybe 10years' time, Egypt could very well be portrayed as one of the mover and shaker countries taken into the decision-making circle, and that's because in 10 years' time we could've, or rather should've, moved a considerable way along properly aligning our Egypt with its proper standing in the world.

You know what, for all we know, we might actually by then, or again we rather should by then, have a flourishing enough environment to help cultivate the talent that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt is there and kicking to come out, to actually create our own homegrown epic action moviesssss to rival the Hollywood ones. Yes we can.

Hope you have as wonderful a morning as I plan to have!

How Will New Egypt be Portrayed in Mainstream Media?

2011-04-20T06:48:00.000+02:00

Decision Time: Voting on the Constitution Referendum

2011-03-17T17:49:00.000+02:00

If your decision to vote:

1.NO to the constitution referendum will be because you saw some celebrities in a TV ad saying no, or because you're afraid that Islamists will come to power and ban bikinis,then you might as well vote YES.

2.YES to the constitution referendum will be because the Muslim Brotherhood say your soul will be lost to hell if you say no, or because you're afraid that chaos will ensue and you're chasing your elusive idea of a utopic stability that didn't exist in the first place, then you might as well vote NO.

People, take a moment to think. Simplify matters and get rid of all the clutter so you're able to make an educated, rational and balanced decision.

The referendum is about:
1. Egypt's future
2. Deciding what's best for Egypt as a next step
3. Your right to say what you think is best for Egypt given what you KNOW, what you researched and found out, not what you're spoon fed, cornered into, or psyched into or out of through fear.
4. MAKING UP YOUR OWN MIND

In my humble opinion, to make the right decision:
Stop playing follow the leader.
Use your right to think for yourself and decide for yourself.
Don't mix emotions in with rational decision-making.
Don't be afraid to oppose the mainstream if you really believe you have a valid point.
Don't oppose just to be different.
Don't mix religion with politics.
Keep a keen eye on what's best for Egypt.
Realize that you now have the privilege and responsibility to be a part of deciding the fate of Egypt.

The facts are (per the Supreme Council of the Armed Fources:
1. We won't go back to the '71 constitution regardless of the outcome of the referendum
2. If YES prevails, the amendments will be used as a constitutional declaration for the transitional period
3. If NO prevails, the Supreme Council will deliver another set of articles in the form of a constitutional declaration -steps for what's next if you may (which will go into immediate effect with no vote) for the coming period.
4. In both cases we will have a new constitution

Four more facts:
1. The difference between YES or NO when it comes to creating a new constitution is the representation of the people in the parliament: YES speeds up the parliamentary elections and we don't yet have a political arena active enough with varying parties, representative enough of Egypt. NO pushes those elections back a bit, giving the political environment more time to grow.
2. Another difference between YES and NO is that YES decreases the time of the Supreme Council at the helm, while NO increases it. NO also introduces a civilian Presidential Committee, to co-run with the Supreme Council during the transitional period.
3. If YES prevails, some Egyptians will not have the right to run for president because the law and the constitution cannot agree on the double nationality issue.
4. If YES prevails the thugs out on the streets will not automatically be reeled back to prison by magic rope, and money won't shower us from the clouds.

The decision isn't easy, it never is when it matters. Welcome to democracy and freedom :)

You wanted your voice, now use it. Go vote! But go vote for yourself and for Egypt, not for celebrities, bikinis, Islamists or a non-existent Utopia.

Good luck Egypt.
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الاستفتاء على تعديلات الدستور المصري: بين حالة الحلزونة وفيلم البعبع

2011-03-16T23:40:00.001+02:00

نقول لا؟ نقول آه؟

في ناس خايفة من فوضى لو قالت لا وناس خايفة من الإخوان لو قالت آه. وناس مرعوبة من الرجوع للدستور المعلق لو قالت لا، وناس مش فاهمة ليه تقول آه. آه يا نافوخي آه.

عشان نعرف نقرر بشكل أو بآخر لازم نركز في شوية نقط صغيرة.

امبارح لواء ممدوح حسنين عضو المجلس الأعلى للقوات المسلحة قال كام نقطة مهمة
1. في حالة نتيجة الاستفتاء بنعم فالفترة الانتقالية هتكون قصيرة. أما في حالة نتيجة الاستفتاء بلا فالفترة الانتقالية هتكون أطول (بدون تحديد المدة في كلتا الحالتين).
2.في حالة ان تكون نتيجة الاستفتاء لا فلن نعود لاستخدام الدستور المعلق. بل سوف يتم تشكيل لجنة تأسيسية للعمل على دستور جديد (عشان كدة الفترة الانتقالية هتكون أطول لأن الجيش هيستمر في ادارة شئون البلاد وقتها حتى الانتهاء من الدستور)

3. التعديلات الدستورية المقترحة ليست بغرض ترقيع الدستور المعلق لاستخدامه بل هذه التعديلات بغرض عمل مواد تساعد في حل مشاكل الانتخابات والإشراف القضائي واختيار الرئيس للفترة المقبلة.

4. في حالة رفض الشعب لهذه المقترحات فسوف يتم عمل إعلان دستوري يشمل خطوات الفترة المقبلة لحين عمل دستور جديد.

أظن كده وضحت ان مافيش بعبع ولا فوضى ولا فراغ من أي نوع ولا حتى احكام عرفية لو الناس قالت لا. والجيش قال كل مواطن حر في الاختيار بتاعه.

نيجي بأه لنعم...
نعم يعني

1. الرئيس هيفضل ل 4 سنين
2. الصلاحيات الرئاسية لسة مش معروفة وممكن تفضل زي أو قريبة من اللي في الدستور المعلق. مافيش ضمان.
3. فيه مصريين مش هيقدروا يرشحوا نفسهم عشان القانون والدستور مش متفقين على نقطة الجنسية المزدوجة.
4. اختيار لكشة مواد على بعضها حتي لو فيها اللي مش عاجبك عشان ماعندناش الفرصة للاستفتاء في كل مادة لوحدها.

خلصنا من نعم ولا... نيجي بأه للدوشة بتاعة الإخوان والفلول والاستقرار والسلطات والبابا غنوج...
يا جماعة
1. دي مش حلة محشي الرز خلص ف هنزود شوية خضرا عشان نكمل الحشو. ولا احنا قاعدين نناكف ف بعض عشان لما نعرف ان واحد هيقول آه يبقى أنا هاقول لا. بنلعب احنا هنا؟! خد قرارات بناء على حيثيات الموضوع.
2. ماحدش يقنعنا ان الشعب اللي هد المعبد على أصحابه لما استكفى مش هيعرف يختار اللي هو شايفه صح. كفاية فرض الوصاية ولعبة أنا بابا يا ولد. كل وااااحد يختاااااار اللي هو شااااايفه صح.
3.ربنا ماقلش تعطل دماغك عشان تسمع كلام أولي الأمر.
٤. لو الناس قالت لا مش هيتفرض احكام عرفية، ولو الناس قالت نعم البلطجية المطلوقين علينا مش هيتشدوا للسجون بحبل سحري ولا الفلوس هتمطر علينا من السما.
4. الوضع اللي احنا فيه ده مش بتاع نختار أحسن الوحشين. ماينفعش تختار حاجة مش عاجباك عشان المركب تمشي (أو عجلة الانتاج المخرومة دي).

بس بغض النظر عن لا أو آه م بذمتكوا مش حاجة جميلة جدا أننا ولأول مرة من زمن بعييييييد شاغلين نفسنا بمستقبل مصر الفعلي مش ماتش كورة وحاسين أننا ناس مسئولة وعلى مستوى القاعدة؟ تحيا مصر يا عم!
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Egypt after Mubarak: Hope in the Fog

2011-03-16T20:01:00.000+02:00

My latest article; published in Identity Magazine -March2011 issue

If someone had told me a month ago that I would be writing a piece with this title where I am giving serious thought as to what I and my fellow Egyptians should be doing with ourselves now that Mubarak is an Ex-President (that word still gives me goose bumps) I would have laughed till I had a heart attack.
But all surrealism aside, anyone who has ever read anything I wrote would know that I have always been an advocate of the power of the people, and that the most important resource is the human one. Now that we are on the threshold of a new Egypt it is time for us to put our money where our mouth is and build ourselves as the Egyptians we should be, and demolish the gunk that had cemented over us for decades.
Before you continue reading, let me say that this is my own humble opinion of where I believe we should go from here, because building Egypt starts with building the proper Egyptian, who will know how to run and maintain our Egypt as it should be.
Almost two months ago I had shared in this same space that through consistent and suffocating deterioration Egypt had become so negatively perceived both amongst ourselves and by the outside world that she had ended up creating this love-hate relationship of Freudian proportions, with us Egyptians. I am ecstatic to say that that is no longer the case, and that we have all fallen in love with each other again, and we are now ready to live happily ever after. But, how do we do that exactly?
Since we feel like we belong once more, and have all remembered our Egyptianity, and our strong love for Egypt, we all agree that we want the collective best for her and each other. However, we have to acknowledge that we are all different from one other. Our idea of what is "best" will vary and we will most probably show our love differently, which is perfectly fine since it takes all kinds to make a world. Of course we would be lying if we say that we know for a fact where we are going with this love, and state of newness and rejuvenation in Egypt. It is very foggy at best, but still, in the midst of the thick fog there is hope, and lots of it, we just have to work hard and look well to find it.
Therein lies the problem: what do we do to love effectively?
Well, we need to start by clearly identifying our roles and sticking to them. It exuded a wonderful sense of ownership and investment when people cleaned their neighborhoods during the time when the country was at a standstill, but now it is not the job of citizens to paint the pavements or sweep the streets, however it is definitely their job to absolutely not litter; just like it is not their job to control traffic, but to drive properly. Find your role, understand it well, and do it to the best of your ability.
If you do not know what your role is, and it might not be clear, if you are not a) a doctor, b) an engineer, or c) a front and center political revolutionary, then now is the time to educate yourself.
Even if you do know what your role is, you might still have quite a few things to learn about; issues like your capabilities, your country, politics, economics, what makes a society function properly, and how to be an effective human being. As we agreed, the current scene in Egypt is very fluid and ever evolving. We will be doing a lot of learning and re-learning as we go along. It is also a very good time to ask lots and lots of questions, and listen to as many trusted people as possible. We need to question everything and realize that nothing is set in stone or is a taboo. Nothing is above being discussed and debated. However we need to realize there is a difference between mindless debating, and constructive critiquing. We also need to learn how to differentiate between cold hard facts and hearsay, second-hand tales, or unconfirmed information, and realize that we cannot build our opinions on shaky information just because it sounds good or is inline with my gut-feeling/emotional state/comfort-zone/what everyone is saying. Of course it goes without saying that along with acquiring knowledge, now more than ever it is essential to erase concepts like "just this once", "why me", and "everybody else is doing it". In addition it is now or never that we all emphasize the importance of self-discipline, and self-set codes of conduct. Right is right and wrong is wrong. End of story.
Now that you have identified your role, and are continuously informing and educating yourself, you need to bolster that with courage… courage of knowledge, because you might not like what you find, and it might shake beliefs you had thought were immovable (I strongly recommend a calm and unbiased look at your ideals and ideologies right now. It is also a great idea to revisit them on a regular basis from now on). Additionally, you will need courage of conviction, because once you have an opinion you are held accountable for it, and your particular opinion of choice might not be popular or even liked. But that is what having a true democracy is; everyone is entitled to an opinion, no matter how radical or disliked. Just always make sure that you base your opinions on sound logic so you can debate them and champion them.
I have to add here that along with knowledge we need a fundamental paradigm shift when it comes to our collective thought processes. We need to come from a place of pro-activity and not reactivity. Something like "let someone else start" should be changed with "I'm going to take the initiative", "I don't know" should be replaced with "Let me find out about it", and "It's always been done this way" definitely needs to be thrown out in favor of "Is this the best way to do it?" Once we have the courage to use our power of logic we will be able to shatter all dogmas and worn-out, ineffective beliefs.
After dealing with yourself, now you can move on to dealing with the society and world at large. This is when characteristics like tolerance, acceptance and understanding come in handy. Even with all the knowledge you are collecting, it is OK not to know everything, to feel confused and lost even. It is also quite normal for you to change your mind. It is expected to find someone who knows more than you, or who thinks something different entirely. We have to keep an open mind, use a flexible and curious thought process, as well as make room for others and their points of view. However, we should know how to spot hot air and half-baked truths. Do not give space to every wayward rumor and conspiracy theory. We are looking to build not create cracks. It is OK to expose yourself to everything out there, just know how to keep everything within the right context, and in its proper size.
We have to realize that the country is rebooting, and that it is going to take a while. This is a first for most of us and we do not have a manual. But remember, all good things that are worth it are difficult to come by and take effort and time.
We need to learn patience and unbiased trust, but no matter what we do, we should never ever confuse between giving respect (to someone or something once they have truly earned it) and adoration, worship and/or blind faith.
As for our world-famous emotionalism and sentimentality, it is time to finally put them in check, and not let them overwhelm our critical thinking abilities.
I expect people to not fully agree with what I have shared. Some might think I said too much, or not enough, and that is the beauty of where we are right now, and the new era we are embarking on –everyone is going to have a stand, and advocate it with passion and conviction… and freedom for both themselves and others.
We are ready to build our society. It is up to us. It is up to the people. If you are in doubt let me tell you this… in eighteen days we removed a president and made the entire world stop, pay attention and respect us.

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Let's Talk Politics: Presidential or Parliamentary Elections First?

2011-03-02T14:00:00.002+02:00

I'm going to keep this short and sweet.

It is my personal opinion that the first steps to our freedom are:

1. New government NOW. A government that has nothing to do with the old regime's way of thinking. And now because something as short as one month from now might be too late when we see the tentacles of old gripping the country again in its vice.

2. Constitutional articles that allows us truly free elections, and that do not ostracize any adult, psychologically fit Egyptians. Although, I personally think that creating our new constitution IN FULL, should come before anything else. We need to set the proper guidelines according to which everyone will act, before we set the people in their offices... But that's just me.

3. Allowing the creating of new and independent political parties

4. Presidential elections before parliamentary elections -and that's to give time for political parties to get created, grow and introduce themselves properly for people to elect them. (The president can be sworn in by any other institution that we all agree on other than the parliament. This technicality should not steer the fate of an entire nation -that wreaks of old, rigid mentality that doesn't fit with what Egypt needs now).

The Devil is in the Details

2011-03-01T18:17:00.007+02:00

Let me ask you something: do you realize that you have the right to be free? Do you know that people running this country should listen to what you want and do their best to make it happen? Do you believe in your self-worth? When you answer yes to all three questions, please always keep those truths in mind and never lose sight of them. Please let's all focus on what's important and not get distracted by pseudo-news, rumors and half-baked truths. Let's also not get sidelined by political compromises given to us as "the best solution given the transitional circumstances". A compromise is a compromise, and half truths can never be whole.

Let's remember why all of this started.; because we wanted our FREEDOM. we wanted our country back, we wanted a stake. Freedom is not rationed out or bestowed on some and not others. Freedom is for all. Freedom is not going to happen when we still have old-school mentality at the helm, still fighting against the will of the people, thinking that "Big Brother" knows best.

Our freedom comes when people at the helm finally realize that the true authority is in the hands of the people. Without that shift in thinking we are not going to get anywhere. You cannot force someone's brains into or out of a certain pattern of thought, but you can ask them to step aside entirely to allow a new school of thought in. It is not personal, it is just the proper way to introduce a new, more enlightened era into this country.

We need to realize that what does not fit with the will of the people, and their right to be free needs to be thrown out. The will of the people should not bend to meet with already established practices. If those practices do not fit with what the people need then those practices are not right for the people. The thread starts in the hands of the people, and not in the politics. Politics are there to serve the will of the people, and not the other way around. It's time for us to put things in their proper context. Politicians are public servants and are there to SERVE the people. The military are for the protection of the people, and are there by the will of the people, and are, in all fairness, in a current position that is totally alien to them and need our guidance, the people, in what to do. So let's give them an unwavering and decisive hand.

Mediocrity: Living in the Inverted Pyramid

2010-12-08T18:51:00.004+02:00

We all know that mediocrity is a central part of Egyptian society. Has been for a very long time now, and with no end in sight, we continue to accept things and actions that would normally be unacceptable. Inferiority overshadows all aspects of our everyday life, from small things like the abrasive lamination (that actually scratches your skin if you are not careful) found on most plastic government-issue cards like your car license and national number ID, all the way to paved roads that dent beneath the weight of trucks, and melt under the aggressive Egyptian heat, sticking to the tires. This attitude has become so deeply rooted within us as a people that when something of normal standards is available, one is overly thankful for its existence.

But just to be clear, the lower and underprivileged classes cannot in all fairness be judged upon our cohabitation with this state of sloppiness, because even though they are an integral part of the problem, they live in a tangled web that first needs to be untangled and spun properly before being evaluated for its good, bad and mediocre. It makes no sense to talk to someone about excellence when his or her more pressing needs of food and shelter are always precariously hanging in the balance and looming over his or her head.

This is primarily about those who should know better. The ones who were lucky enough to not have it so hard, and the ones who might have started in the assembly line, but had enough resources and breathing space along the way to become self-aware after reaching a certain point in their lives. I am talking about the ones, who after all this exposure to globalization mumbo-jumbo can be self-taught if they just take the time and effort to do so. I am talking about the people with a steady, decent job affording them a solid pay check, or who are part of a well-off family so they do not have to worry about money, and can support small luxuries (although they are now deemed necessities) such as a BlackBerry with all the trimmings, nights out at the “in” places, and travels with friends, but are nonetheless unwilling to apply themselves to getting things done properly. They are the ones who are only looking for the sugar-coated part of life, and cannot be bothered with the rest. I am also talking about supposedly mature, well-established, members of society who would rather go with the flow than deliver a job well done, no matter how small. Even though, most of them have lived through a time when great pride was taken in doing something right. Using Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, the people I am holding accountable would be the ones who have managed to fulfil their physiological, safety and love needs and should be moving on to their esteem needs on their way to the self-actualization ones (while the underprivileged classes are still struggling with their physiological and/or safety needs to varying degrees).

This is about personal standards before anything else. What does it say about a person when his or her own individual quality control levels leave a lot to be desired? All because of a prevailing sense of apathy, boredom, and why me when everybody else is doing it? The widespread motto now is a little charm (even the forced kind), and a whole lot of bluffing will get you a long, long way; the now infamous Egyptian “fahlawa”. No one can be bothered to break the chain. In Maslow terms establishing a sense of achievement, gaining the respect of others (let alone your own) and gaining confidence and therefore self-esteem, are impossible without striving for excellence, but we will come back to that.

We have forgotten (or maybe chosen to forget) the unspoken moral and societal obligation to act according to what is right and appropriate, not what is in fashion or easy. Maybe that is because right is not always popular, and requires strength of character and perseverance.

Anatomy of Egyptian-Grade Mediocrity

Mediocrity is unacceptable in the absolute, but it is doubly offensive when you know of a better alternative, because it is far worse to have a talent or certain knowledge and not use it, than not to have it at all. That is just waste, and waste is shameful at best.

I mean small things like taking the proper U-turn less than 10 meters after the convenient, and most certainly wrong U-turn that everyone else is taking. Will it really waste that much of your gas? (This U-turn really does exist in one of the well-known new communities… in front of a big-name gas station, very ironically, I might add).

And another thing, how difficult is it not to litter our streets? I mean really?! Anyone who can afford a car can afford a mini wastebasket for the car. No scratch that, they can afford a simple plastic bag (you know, the ones you get with your groceries). Put your junk there, and dump it in your trashcan when you go home. Simple really!

Now, some might say that these are not examples of mediocrity; these are more manners and attitudes. True. They might also say that these are really small and insignificant things. False. Let me explain.

For the first, excellence is not a fluke but a habit. You really and truly are what you consistently do. You cannot compartmentalise what you stand for or believe in, you take that with you everywhere… most of the time without even realising.

For the second, going completely off course does not happen over night or all of a sudden, it is consistent baby step-like deviations and minuscule compromises, where one thinks things like “just this one time”, “no one will notice the difference”, “it’s OK”, “cutting this corner is not the end of the world”, “don’t be such a tight-a**”… you get what I mean. Before you know it, you end up at a point so far off the course of where you should be –given the beginning of your course- all taken one small misstep at a time. Answer me this: why is it now acceptable to have no standards in our society? Because no one will stop and say no, this is wrong, this is not how it is done, this is how to do it... No one will stand up for the principle. How has it become acceptable to have no standards in our society? By taking one small step off the proper course at a time, by removing every now and then one small, but essential, routine when you think no one is looking or no one will mind –and even if they do, so what? This is how the Chernobyl catastrophe happened. According to the INSAG -7 report (http://www-pub.iaea.org/MTCD/publications/PDF/Pub913e_web.pdf) done by the International Nuclear Safety Advisory Group (INSAG), (part of the International Atomic Energy Agency), operators did not follow test procedure, and in fact “altered [them] on an ad hoc basis”, which along with the bad reactor design resulted in the disaster.

Another incubator of our mediocrity is the lack of maintenance and upkeep, and the laziness of falling back on the laurels of years gone by. It starts off with not being bothered to strive for new accomplishments, and with time ends up with one being not good enough, or having what it takes anymore. And the thing is, no one is above being mediocre if they stop performing properly. Just think of something like all the big names of the 2010 FIFA World Cup South Africa and how they fell like flies in front of teams of supposedly much less significance, just because their heads got too big for their own good and they decided that their names and past victories were significant enough for them to win through intimidation, without actually working and sweating to win. If we move closer to home, we find one of the latest fiascos peppered with poppies and fine art, and malfunctioning security cameras, and underpaid, ill-qualified government employees, with no motivation or proper understanding; a lethal jumble resulting in humanity at large (and not just Egyptians) being deprived of a beautiful piece of world heritage.

It is appalling, but not surprising that this year, after an annual downward spiral, Egyptian universities were finally taken out of the ranking of the world’s top 400 universities altogether according to the annual World's Best Universities rankings by US News & World Report, (based on the QS World University Rankings by Quacquarelli Symonds, one of the world’s leading networks for careers and education. http://www.usnews.com/sections/education/worlds-best-universities/index.html -last updated at the time of going to press: September 21^st, 2010). Now representing the Middle East are the UAE and Lebanon with one university each, KSA with two and Israel with four, while Egypt, home of the first university in the region, and the ancient world’s first library (and for the longest time the world’s biggest library) is completely out of the running. Enough said.

So what are the reasons behind our mediocrity? There are plenty, but I personally believe that our rare blend of the sub-par started off as an unforeseen by-product of two main mutations of the snowball that got completely out of hand that is the July 23^rd revolution; the first being the focus on low cost quantity at the expense of quality; while the second was the creation of a lacklustre mass existence, complete with: unrealistically stable, and deliriously mind-numbing minimum-wage (and sometimes lower) jobs, and assembly-line education –chockfull of manipulated information that makes no provision for any character building. But to properly discuss the reasons behind the two standards would need more space than we have here. However we can safely say that those two paradigms found fertile land in the Egyptian psyche, altering and adapting over time to the different social classes and situations until we now have what I have come to identify as “Life-in-a-Box”, a stale infusion made up of lethargy, apathy, crudeness, wasted brain cells, and an atrophied mind. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Frankenstein’s monster: a risky attempt at greatness and immortality, getting completely out of hand with lots of unexpected consequences.

Still, I am holding to the opinion that this was unforeseen because I would like to think that this deviation we are living was not deliberate, and started with good intentions: a dream of equal rights and security for the masses. However good intentions, mixed in with the wrong tools and a lack of knowledge of how to translate a vision to doable, measurable, and contained tactics is a toxic concoction. Realising this does not make it any less jarring, of course.

Even Fun is Inferior!

We have become so half-baked that we are now bad even at having fun! Even something as simple as belly-dancing (which mythically used to be passed on in breast milk to baby girls) is now out-sourced!!! With all due respect, what do Russians know about belly dancing?! Why have they invaded the scene? I will tell you why, because a) they are serious and dedicated to the task at hand… whatever that task is, b) we have lost pride in ourselves, and do not trust anything we do, and c) we have the biggest foreigner or khawaga complex I have ever seen. We put more stock in anything foreign, so much so that now even our oil-dealing cousins reap the benefits and buy and sell Egyptians (more morally than physically, which is not any less repelling really), but that is a whole other can of worms for a whole other day. Back to the cold-weather, Russians and our warm-blooded belly dancing, which they have turned into mechanical gyrations, keeping time with the tempo, but lacking all feeling. Not only do they do it professionally, they actually give dance classes, and not just to expats and fellow foreigners, but to natives as well; females indigenous to the land of Taheyya Karioka and Sohair Zaky.

Begrudgingly, I can understand how others like Brazilians can proclaim to know how to belly dance, and they certainly are a simpler pill to swallow when they make a career of it over here… although I do not see them extending the same courtesy to us, if the roles were reversed. Do you see an Egyptian teaching samba in Brazil? I do not think so. For one thing, they take pride in their “thing”, and for another… we are not good enough, no matter what.

It is not that belly dancing is a national crisis, God knows we have lost bigger fish, it is just that we are losing even the fun stuff that we are supposed to enjoy doing, and do not require the resources or dedication as, say, nuclear biology. We are taking a back seat in something as small as that (belly dancing, not nuclear biology). But I guess if you are not dedicated, then you are just not dedicated, the object of dedication is irrelevant.

Motivate Me Motivate You

According to Daniel Pink, author of Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us, our key motivators when the skills required are cognitive ones (read: using our heads) are: autonomy, mastery and purpose (of course, before that you have to ensure that these people are paid well enough that they do not have to worry about money, and can focus on getting the job done).

Taking the government, your boss, or any other “big brother” figure out of the equation as the entity receiving the fruits of your labours, these motivators still apply to the individual’s everyday life. However, looking at our reality we find that the majority of people act for the most part like drones, with no real, core objectives, or a sense of purpose, and therefore no need or desire to master anything, let alone realise one’s potential for true autonomy, resulting in a perpetual vicious cycle of knowing nothing of significance and wanting nothing of significance. This is not one that can be pinned on the big, bad government boogieman. This is in our collective hands. Simply put, purpose comes from within (after taking the time to build your unique character and identity), mastery is a desire you cultivate with time (after correctly identifying what your passions are and what you are good at, based on your knowledge of your character), and finally the need (and bravery for) autonomy is the cherry on top (where you are self-assured enough to want to be responsible and self-managed, at the risk of being held accountable for your actions and decisions). This, my friends, is how one finds and fulfils his or her need for self-esteem (remember, Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs from earlier) and later self-actualization. No self-set standards, no personal identity. No personal identity, no self-esteem. No self-esteem, no self-actualization.

Solutions anyone?

I am not saying that the world is rosy and all resources are available for a person to be a world class professional at whatever he or she sets their heart to do. It is challenging, I grant you that… challenging, but certainly not impossible. Just like we are the ones who came up with the silly mottos of “we’re the ones who painted the air” and “we’re the ones who bottled air”, (we seem to have a thing for the intangible, lightning in a bottle thing), we are also the ones that go with “the army told you to find a way”. This is what they were talking about people. This is where you need to find a way.

Obviously there are some key issues out of the average individual’s immediate reach, but that is no reason to give up. I refuse to believe that it should be an all or nothing solution. There is just as much that we can do for ourselves, by ourselves.

Discipline, discipline, discipline! For the most part we under-value discipline and proper conduct. For some reason we have come to believe that the rules do not apply to us.

Maintenance and investment, please! One needs to take care of things they value. Sooner or later neglect and apathy take on physical shape in the form of things like the now un-air-conditioned, “air-conditioned” buses, and garbage piles filling up vacant lots.

Reinvent yourself. Our age-old personal bag of tricks has become just that… OLD. It is time for something new; a fresh perspective; a new way of doing things. One of the definitions of insanity is doing the same action over and over again, and expecting a different result every time.

Root out complacency and passiveness. By all means, love yourself, be satisfied with who you are, but do not be smug, and do not be content that this is as good as it is going to get. There is always, always, room for improvement and growth. It does not have to be moving on from bad to good, it can also be moving from good to better. Trust me you only stop growing when you are dead.

Accountability please. Binding all of this chaos together is the no-accountability zone we seem to be living in. Everyone does what they want, when they want to, whichever way they want to do it. The examples are plentiful, just take a look outside your car window at the cars triple parked on the narrow street you are trying to drive through and you will know what I mean.

Think small actions. Think, what is it that is in my hands to do instead of whining about the way things are. Think, enough with the self-inflicted wounds.

Sure, we all get de-motivated sometimes, it is only natural, we are human. But we need to find motivation for development in all the losses, disappointments, and muck that have come to surround our daily lives. The trick is to not let it overwhelm you. Catch yourself in the act, allow yourself a little slack, but then snap out of it and move on.

Maybe when we as individuals become unconditionally responsible, people will think twice before doing something inappropriate for fear of answerability, people like the co-worker who leaches off of your hard work, or bums around the majority of the workday, or the Minia resident who decided to add part of the street he lives in to his property to expand his house, or, people like one locally famous so-called pop singer, will seriously consider the consequences of butchering a rock classic with his shoddy voice and terrible enunciation, because he knows that we know better and that there is no way we will let him get away with a bad performance.

No matter what you go through in life, do yourself a huge favour and do not become submissive. If you see something you do not like, do something about it, regardless of how big or small your action is. When it comes to matters of principle, no action is too small. We just need to remind ourselves of that from time to time. And you never know, someone might be watching you; they might be inspired by you, and then you have a ripple effect on your hands without knowing it.

The Art of Love -Ovid

2010-10-29T17:57:00.003+02:00

Love is a species of warfare. Slack troopers, go elsewhere!
It takes more than cowards to guard
These standards. Night-duty in winter, long-route marches, every
Hardship, all forms of suffering: these await
The recruit who expects a soft option. You'll often be out in
Cloudbursts, and bivouac on the bare
Ground... Is lasting
Love your ambition? Then put away all pride.
The simple, straightforward way in may be denied you,
Doors bolted, shut in your face -
So be ready to slip down from the roof through a lightwell,
Or sneak in by an upper-floor window. She'll be glad
To know you're risking your neck, and for her sake: that will offer
Any mistress sure proof of your love

You Know You're Dealing With Kuwaiti Heat When...

2009-05-31T11:40:00.007+03:00

Cold tap water gives you 1st degree burns
Tanning in the summer means anything from crispy to charcoal
The car thermometer reads 46 degrees Celsius… in the shade
The official temperature would read 44 degrees Celsius
The news broadcast dedicates a portion of its time to hydration tips
There’s a law that states once the temperature hits 44 people shouldn’t go to work
There’s another law that states no outdoor labor takes place between 12pm to 4pm… ever
Dangling earrings can scorch your neck if you sit in the car for more than 1 minute without the AC on.
Washing dries in 30 minutes maximum… in the shade
To get slightly cool water you use the water stored in the switched off boiler, because that’s the only place where there’s no heat.

and that's just the tip of the melted iceberg...

Logic and the Veil

2009-03-29T19:15:00.009+02:00

(My piece for the April '09 issue of Identity Magazine)

The Holy Quran says that deeds begin with intentions (and are therefore, judged, by God, accordingly). That is why we humans, are supposed to take things by appearances and at face value. With that in mind, this article takes a look at the appearances of the phenomenon of the modern-day veil as a statement –albeit not a religious one- and its subsequent ramifications. It also shares various points of view from the Egyptian society at large. What this article doesn’t do though, is pass judgment, or stand for or against.

To be clear, this isn’t about certain socio-economic classes forcing their females to wear the veil, more out of a societal requirement than a religious appeasement (like wearing a half-sleeve top coupled with their veil, because the purpose is to literally “cover their heads” and not anything else).

This is about the veil as an accessory, worn to adorn the latest fashion; it’s about the veil equaling a decoration, and not representing good religion, beginning on the inside and translating onto the outside.

A Troublesome Piece of Cloth
Like so many things that lose their track because of too much meddling, somewhere along the way the poor veil lost its identity. Nowadays, some mark it as a sign of female oppression, and a measure of how backward a society is. Just look at the myriad of vehement opponents calling for the annihilation of the stifling headpiece, calling it demeaning to both men and women, and saying that we’ve already emancipated women way back in 1923 by the illustrious Hoda Shaarawi.

No offense, but I like to call these people neo-liberal pseudo-intellects. At the risk of sounding paradoxical (since I might appear to be losing my previously alleged objectivity) allow me to explain. Without boring you with too much detail, Islam was the first religion to give females their full rights, announcing them as their own person, with clear and detailed rights and an independent financial existence from males. Most interpretations of the schools of Islamic jurisprudence, state that the veil (or hejab), is a religious stipulation (and therein lies all the fuss: in the argument of is it or isn’t it). Unless we disagree that Islam is a cohesive and wise religion that doesn’t contradict itself, then the veil can’t be oppressive, demeaning or disrespectful to the Muslim female.

As for the 1923 symbol, the removed fabric in question (and not burnt as commonly believed) was the “yashmak”, that society forced upper class females to always wear when out in public. Among other problems, females of that era had next to no rights, a result of societal and not religious oppression. The Shaarawi action had nothing to do with religion, and everything with the fight for women’s civil rights, given by Islam and taken away by man. This is the context people overlook.

The second group tampering with the pivotal veil are those who personify it as the end all and be all of religion for the Muslim female –meaning she can’t be a devout Muslim, or at the very least God-fearing and religious in the proper way (and the only way apparently) if she hasn’t covered her hair. It’s like writer Ala’a Al Aswany once wrote: it is as if Islam was sent to humanity so that females can cover their hair!

The problem is the misapplying of what we’re told to do. Being veiled is not the alfa and omega of a pious woman’s Islam, it is also not a sign that a woman has gone back to the dark ages when she chooses to put it on (chooses being the key element here). But human beings love to split hairs and complicate things.

Truth be told, it’s possible that because of the latter group that the former thinks of the veil as abusive to women. It’s quite possible, that had it not been for the stifling emphasis on a female being veiled, we wouldn’t be faced with youths condemning the Islamic head cover (or misusing it), giving off a plethora of wrong impressions about veiled women and Islam at large.

So, what has all of this got to do with the façade veil? Plenty. It’s very possible that this is the starting point. It’s the natural, but nevertheless warped, progression of how the ideal has been steered off track. Everyone is making their own rules and declaring them the right way to be. Then why shouldn’t they do as they please as well? Why shouldn’t they be covered head to toe in a paradox?

Losing my Religion
It’s my personal belief that every human being is an ambassador of what they stand for. So what kind of an ambassador is this girl in the contour-hugging outfit that leaves pretty much nothing to the imagination, topped off with a piece of scarf that might or might not cover her hair in full? What does it represent when a lot of the veiled females don’t look any different from their non-veiled peers when it comes to clothing, if it wasn’t for the wraps around their heads? What does this attitude say about her religion for those who don’t know it that well? I’ll tell you what it says, it says things like: silly and nonsensical on the good days, and oppressive, hypocritical and contradictory on the bad ones; because why should she cover her hair if she’s showing everything else; If not by fact then by insinuations? This is what losing purpose is all about.

And then some people say, and actually believe, things like “at least she’s covered” or “she’s better than a lot of others.” Does any of this sound right to anyone?

Look at Me! Look at Me!
We’ve all seen them. Party in a veil, I like to call them. I’m talking about the major production that the wrapping of the 21st century veil has become, with the multiple sheets of fabric in all colors of the rainbow, and the shimmering pins, and the dangling baubles (seriously) –making one think of a five-year old’s birthday cake. I’m all for looking pretty, and I’m a fan of the double toned simple veil. I can also understand the need to have a special “do” for a special occasion, but come on, don’t you think it’s overkill when you have that well-known ruffled look (you know the one that eats the face), just to show up to work, or hang out with your friends?

Personal legislations: forcing a wrong to be a right
Doesn’t all this feel like it defeats it’s own purpose? Theoretically, the purpose is to cover up the supposed coveted areas of the female body. Somebody tell me, how is any of this covering up the coveted areas? Logically speaking, why put the veil on in the first place if it’s no different on or off, in fact it would only mean more restraints?

How is it a good thing to be self-contradictory? This quasi-veiling philosophy is a compound wrong that is forced down our throats as better than nothing, but is really just an abuse of a religious stipulation that makes no sense at all, is a terrible misrepresentation of Islam, as well as the women of Islam, and its crowning glory is that because it’s so paradoxical it actually attracts the attention, which is not what it’s supposed to do, in fact it was put into place to do the exact opposite. Go figure!

At face value, how is this person better than another girl, just because she has her hair covered, but her body on parade? Covering your body with form hugging fabric doesn’t mean you have your body covered. You might not see the skin, but you can still figure out the contours of the body. If anything, tight clothing is more alluring than showing skin because it’s an insinuation, an inkling of what’s underneath… nothing is more provocative than a hint at what is just out of reach. I ask again, how is that better?

Uh-Oh
They seem to have overlooked one fundamental point. This semi-veiled attitude shoots itself in the foot. Apart from the obvious provocative factor, this would also fall under something known in Arabic as ‘Lebas a-shohra’, loosely translated to “Attire for Fame and Pride”. That is because when a veiled female gets her fashionista on and wears the body hugging outfits, and/or her major production head pieces, she immediately attracts attention more than anyone else around her, since she’s going against the grain. We’re not supposed to dress in a manner that makes us stand out in our society. This, of course, is exactly what they’re doing.

The Reason
Peer pressure has been accused of causing many a peculiar actions amongst teens, the latest being this fashionista veil. Apparently the girls form cliques and exhibit the classic case of cookie cutter syndrome, dressing exactly alike, until one feels that looking at the row of friends is like looking at a hazy TV screen with faulty coloring.

If it’s not the pressure then there’s going with the flow. They do it because everyone is.

There are also those who admit that veil fashion is nicer now and more appealing, and totally in!

Another reason is attributed to the reformer craze. A few of the females I had talked to bravely claimed that the main reason why they had first gotten veiled was because of listening to a very famous reformer, who is believed to have single-handedly paved the way for modern-day reformer advocates in Egypt.

I also found out that a lot of the females, who got veiled after hearing this man preach, have now removed that veil. Their reasons varied from feeling stifled (metaphorically, not physically), and wanting to dress as they please, to they no longer believe that the veil is mandatory.

Of course there are always those who just hate their hair and would rather cover it, and others who think it’s more economical to be veiled, since they wouldn’t be spending money on things like hair, earrings, and necklaces.

Lucrative Business
However, you would be surprised to know that it now actually costs the same, if not more, to be veiled, because of all the extras a veiled girl has to buy, be it the multiple veils in matching colors for the layered looks, or the myriad body suits worn under clothes as a cover. And don’t forget the stylized veils, and what it costs to get them done.

Then there are the ancillaries: the CDs, books and training sessions teaching one how to tie all the complicated styles, identifying the best styles for your face and clothes, and of course your best colors.

Double Standards
I have this theory that one goes through certain levels of evolvement, in a specific sequence as a natural progression to their personal growth and learning –think: learning to walk before running. Following that belief, a veiled female would be a good example of how a well-balanced Muslim female should be, since she’s shown enough understanding of her religion, and willpower to shun the temptation of dressing attractively, and choosing instead to cover her body in the manner God has ordered. This is the theory of it in layman terms. Our current reality, however, is shockingly different.

The problem goes deep: it’s not just a bad exterior; the interior is a sham as well. I’m not sure which corrupted which. The chicken and the egg come to mind.

Good religion is not just covering your head with a bit of fabric, it’s following all of the other rules as well, especially the overlooked ones, like, not gossiping, not lying, being clean, being polite, treating people kindly, and realizing that you have to be an overall honest and decent human being because if nothing else, you respect your religion enough to do it justice by representing it to the world as best as possible. For example, the classic wasting of work hours under the pretext of prayer time is not good religion; taking only as long as really necessary once prayer time is called for and, then going right back to work is. Leaving a messy bathroom behind you as a result of your ablution is not good religion; cleaning up your own mess, on the other hand, definitely is.

During a work-related trip a supposedly pious veiled female lost her bag. Luckily I found it, and took it to her cabana. She opened up the door just a crack, took the bag and gave me a very curt thank you, then just shut the door while I was still standing there. Her husband later explained that she hadn’t let me in because she was home alone. I was speechless. She seems to have forgotten that smiling in the face of a fellow human being is deemed an action big enough to warrant a reward (or hasanah); that politeness is very important in Islam, and that embarrassing someone is a very big no, no. All it would have taken was a genuine smile, and a brief explanation of her reasons.

The examples of little daily things that Muslims overlook are countless. Instead focus is gravely misplaced. It’s not about the appearance of piety, but exercising real piety in manner and attire. What these women do is reduce the veil from a symbol of good overall religion, to a cumbersome piece of restraining cloth.

Religion is a lot about common sense. Is it common sense to live an inconsistency?

Schism
Dealing differently with females just because they look on the outside a certain way is not healthy for our society. Subtle discrimination is not right, it breeds nothing but contempt. You can’t make the veil the only measure of what’s good; it obviously doesn’t make one female better than the other. There’s more to it than that. None of us are in a position to make the right judgment, and it’s not even up to us, so why bother? In case people have forgotten, the Quran says that you shouldn’t force anyone into or out of anything… to each his own religion. So if Islam accepts the peaceful co-existence alongside atheists, who are we to separate between the veiled and the non-veiled?!!

And how about all that female-only stuff; you’ve got your women-only club nights (huh?), and women-only beaches (better known as no man’s land) to name a couple. Although I personally find the women-only thing a bit creepy, I can understand the need for the occasional letting loose. To each his own right?

Although, I seriously doubt that they know their religion properly. If they had known they would’ve realized that while you’re not supposed to be exposed in the flesh to foreign males you’re also not supposed to be exposed in the flesh to other females from the navel to the knee –meaning things like bikinis are unacceptable.

Then the female-only was taken to the next level: Muslim-only. Yes it does say in Islam that you risk the possibility (emphasis on possibility) of doing a wrong if you appear without your veil in front of a woman of a different religion, for fear of her later describing you to a male (which of course can also happen from a Muslim female to the same effect and punishment). But seriously, look at the bigger picture. It’s sad to say this, but we live in a time of great religious sensitivity. Is it wise to exercise this right at the expense of a greater danger? Is there any outcome other than creating a rift between Muslims and people of other faiths? For God’s sake think before you act! God asked us to do just that.

This is how factions and fractured societies are made, and unfortunately, we’re on a highway headed in that direction.

The Inverted Pyramid
Now the wrongly veiled are all that we see, not because that is all there is, but because they are the peacocks, and peacocks exist to attract attention. Unfortunately, the ones who take the veil seriously are overshadowed by their in-your-face counterparts, because they’re so understated, which is the core purpose of the veil anyway: to not be apparent and attractive. So the sugar-coat veil ends up being in the lime light, and ruining it for everyone else. Ruining it because now people doubt the sanctity of the veil; it’s lost its meaning and impact. Ruining it because these shadily veiled women have the audacity to think that they’re better than non-veiled women just because they have their hair out of sight but everything else visibly outlined.

The People Have Spoken
A good friend said something that I believe is an excellent example of enlightened, level-headed Muslim females (who also happened to be veiled). She said: “I behave myself not because of the veil, but because I am a Muslim.” I rest my case.

Unfortunately, the example that she and others like her, set has become quite rare. On the other side of the spectrum we have veiled women who guys believe are too uptight to the extent that they put them off veiled girls entirely, therefore feeding the monster that it is all but a spinster sentence for an unmarried female to get veiled before she finds a husband.

Then there are the ones who other veiled females believe give them a bad name, because of their questionable mindsets and approach to life. And of course we cannot forget the ones who seem to have covered their minds as well as their hair in the process.

Who are these people?
I saw this program once on a famous religious channel, and I was riveted. Not because the presenter (an up and coming young reformer) was saying something ground-breaking, but because of how he was saying it. He was talking about the attire of most modern veiled females using about half a dozen mannequins as visual aids. What really caught my attention though was his hypocrisy. There he was eagerly showing how every outfit did not cover the female form properly, and the areas that God said are attractive to man and should be appropriately concealed with loose clothing, while he himself was dressed in a form-contouring pair of jeans and a top that ended half way across his… ahem… behind. Doesn’t the esteemed reformer, who apparently took the time to attend the school for preparing reformers (which supposedly stipulates that you be a graduate of Al Azhar first, which he was not); doesn’t this reformer know that males are supposed to cover (also with loose material) the area between the navel and the knees? You could clearly see the contours of his supposedly “coveted” areas.

Apparently this guy is amongst the best in his category, with a considerable following to his name. I won’t claim that I know all of them and their work, but if this is a sample of what the best of the pack offers, I shudder to think what people seeking religious advice from him and his equivalents are exposed to.

Now what?
I guess one can say that the reason behind all of this is the lack of a core, in terms of values, reasons, and beliefs. Therefore, it is only natural that with the lack of real substance, the focus turns to trivialities.

The key here is to be a good Muslim. Until the outside is a reflection of that, those borderline schizophrenics are just a bunch of hypocrites.

2009-02-19T17:33:00.003+02:00

ساعات بحس ان فيه حاجات موجودة في حياتي اليومية بس عشان تكفر سيئاتي. زي مثلا

1. الناس اللي متخيلة نفسها معيز ومفيش عليها حرج... تقدر تمشي في أي حتة في الشارع ... وطز في العربيات

2. العيد القومي المصري المسمي بعيد الحب. ده حتى من فرط حبنا في بعض عيد الحب عندنا يومين... واحد في فبراير وواحد في نوفمبر... عشان نحزم السنة من الاول والاخر... يخرب بيوتكم كرهتوني في اللون الاحمر... يا كلااااااااااااااااااب

3. دكتوراه الفهلوة اللي عند 99.9% من المصريين

4. العربيات اللي اصحابها فاكرين انها مراكب بتتقدفلها وبالتالي مش مشكلة لما تتحنجل من حارة لحارة على مزاجها... الموج اصله بشعرة ساعة تروح وساعة تيجي. انت بقى المفروض تحس بالبحر وغدره، مع نفسك كده، وتعرف ازاي تتفادى المصايب اللي عمالة تتحدف عليك.

5. الناس اللي بتتكلم في المحمول وهي سايقة... طيب يا سيدي طالما انت عامل كرتونة رجالة في بعض وقررت انك تقدر تسوق الكارتة بتاعتك وانت بتحل مشكلة الشرق الاوسط على التليفون متجيش قدامي بقى وتهدي عشان تركز في الكلام

6. السيد المؤذن اللي بيأذن لصلاة الفجر (فقط لا غير) في الجامع اللي جنب البيت... صوتك وحححححححححححححححححش

7. اللوءات سياس العربيات... واحد مرة بعد ما شكرته وقلت مش عايزة رد عليا وقال:"شكرا دي هتأكلني؟ انت حاسة بيا؟ يا رب كده تجوعي عشان تحسي" طيب ده اقول له ايه؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟

8. زحمة المرور اللي في كل حتة وفي اي وقت من اليوم

9. البكبورتات اللي في وسط الشارع وولاد عمها النقر والحفر. لو الواحد واخد معاه حبة لبن في علبة ولا كيس جلد زي بتوع زمان، على آخر الرحلة هيتحول الى زبدة من كتر الرجرجة

10. الفتي اللي عمال على بطال وفي كل حاجة. مش عارف قول مش عارف مش عيب يعني.

بس برده قاعدة على قلبكوا ومش سيابة البلد. يا انا يا انتوا بقى!

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Gaza and Other Demons

2009-02-05T12:17:00.006+02:00

My article for Identity Magazine, published in their February 2009 issue (as their cover story :D)

I’m not a political pundit so don’t expect a detailed political analysis. I’m just an average Jane, watching the news like everybody else. But, make no mistake about it, I am first and foremost, an Egyptian, and proud of it, in spite of the fact that I’m often unhappy with Egypt’s current state of being, and that I don’t always agree with my country’s government.

It’s shocking and very appalling, to say the least, the slander war that has been waged on Egypt ever since the Gaza attacks first started. The surprise is not just because of how utterly unfounded the accusations are, but even more because of who had taken it upon themselves to hurl at my country these allegations. You wouldn’t expect getting attacked from a supposed next of kin. That’s why it was beyond stunning when Hamas first decided to portray Egypt as a traitor at worst, or apathetic at best. Then again they butcher each other so it shouldn’t be surprising for them to turn on those closest to them. But we’ll talk about that part later.

I don’t plan on recounting all the times my country has assisted all the ingrates who jumped on this smear bandwagon, because it’ll take more time and space than we have. I’m also not going to detail what those same countries ever brought to the table, because in no way would the comparison be fair to them.

I will however talk about the accusations (both direct and veiled) that seemed to take center stage while innocent civilians were being brutally murdered.

Chasing your Tail
In the beginning: the original accusations

These were the first set of fictitious accusations thrown at Egypt back in December 2008
Fiction
Egypt is reinforcing its Rafah border and has closed the Rafah passageway
Reality
1. The passageway was always open to receive the wounded
2. The Egyptian Red Crescent sent aid through the same passageway. It was also the first entity to do so.

Fiction
Egypt is the decisive role in the war on Gaza
Reality
1. Seriously? Do they really mean to say that there would be an immediate ceasefire second the Gazans set foot in Sinai? Or… were they just going to be bombed in Sinai? I don’t want to go all conspiracy theory on you, but wouldn’t that be playing right into Israel’s hand?
2. Where was the rest of the Arab world? Is Egypt expected to aid alone? Why exactly?

Fiction
Egypt knew about the imminent attack after talks with Livni, and never warned Hamas.
Reality
Hamas Spokesperson Mr. Fawzy Barhoom, was in direct contradiction with the insinuations of Hamas Leader, Mr. Khaled Meshaal. Reading between the lines of the Meshaal’s remarks from his exclusive interview to Qatari Al Jazeera channel [minute 7.25], you find that Egypt was aware of Israel’s intentions, as part of the meeting with Tzipi Livni, Israeli Foreign Affairs Minister, during her visit to Egypt. According to him the Egyptian government did not share the information with Hamas. While Barhoom, clearly stated during his phone interview with Amr Adeeb for Al Qahira Al Yom [minute 2.40], that the Egyptian government did call them after that very meeting and had promised to work to the utmost to press again for the peace talks it had been previously brokering.

Fiction (undeclared in a direct manner, but is a conclusion of all accusations)
Egypt betrayed Palestine and the Arab world and is in allegiance with Israel
Reality
Are you serious? Egypt? That’s beyond nonsense! But as a specific reply… Barhoom, was asked a direct yes or no question about whether Egypt really is a traitor, and was indeed aware of the attack on Gaza and did not warn Hamas. He failed to give a decisive yes or no reply. He also couldn’t pinpoint Egypt’s exact conspiratorial role in this.

Newton’s Third Law … Twisted
What I don’t get is why Hamas chose to use their missiles, which were more like firecrackers than anything else. I know Israel wasn’t living up to their end of the deal. But come on; be reasonable. They must’ve known that those missiles weren’t going to do anything (which they didn’t). They also should’ve known that Israel was going to gladly retaliate, and very heavily. THEY DON’T PLAY FAIR… What was Hamas’ plan?

Why is Egypt supposed to bare the consequences of foolish actions… bare them to the detriment of life and land, and bare them alone? Anything short of that and we’re stoned? Does this make sense to anyone?

Politics
If you’re going to call yourself a political leader then you have to have at least two things… the ability to actually lead, and the ability to play politics. Yes play. Politics is a game, let’s not delude ourselves. Emotions have no place in politics. By that I don’t mean the usual be ruthless part and crush anyone in your way. I mean think. Don’t huff and puff your actions; which, in my humble opinion, is exactly what Hamas did. I know I’m speaking from a place of comfort, I’m not under siege, but still a leader should know how to deal with extreme circumstances. That’s why (among other things) they’re fit to lead and others aren’t. Leaders also know how to think of little things like consequences, resources, next moves, and the lives and wellbeing of those they’re leading.

I Want it and I Want it Now
It’s morbidly interesting how Hamas and all the other naysayers decided to depict Egypt as not doing anything, with no mention of being the first to send in aid through the now notorious passageway, the injured received and treated, and the continuous peace brokering

Of all the negative tongues, I don’t see anyone doing anything towards a peace resolution. Why is that? Talk is cheap that’s why.

It's not that Egypt isn't doing ANYTHING. It’s that it’s not doing things the way Hamas wants her to.

The situation is like a parent that doesn't want to get their kid the Barbie dream house (I'm a girl) and instead, is prepared to get her a new Barbie wardrobe. Not as much, or as glamorous, but it's something.

The way I see it, it’s not about the way things SHOULD be, but rather how they really ARE, and how to make the best of what that situation actually is, to out maneuver your opponent and get what you want. Tamper tantrums won’t get you anywhere. It also won’t do to self-sacrifice or start something you can’t end. Put things in their right contexts.

Listen, I’m not heartless, I’d want relief if I’m in a similar situation, but stop to think for a second, what’s the first rule they teach any professional rescuer (lifeguard, firefighter, etc)? Never at the risk of your own life. It’s not ruthless; it’s survival to fight another day.

Throw Them Out
Most of the Arab world cheered on the morning we heard the news of Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez kicking out the Israeli ambassador from his country. Egyptian friends started doing that whole facebook status thing demonstrating how they’re embarrassed that we haven’t expelled the Israeli Ambassador out of our country while Venezuela did. One even wrote something in Arabic that meant “If I wasn’t Egyptian I would’ve wanted to be Venezuelan” playing on the illustrious Mostafa Kamel quote of “If I wasn’t Egyptian I would’ve wanted to be Egyptian.” Honestly, that made me very angry. But wanting to put my money where my mouth is I explained myself rationally.

At first blush any hot blooded Egyptian (or Arab for that matter) would want to do the same. But think about it for a second. If we were to throw the ambassador out wouldn’t that jeopardize the so-called communication channel, and subsequently the peace talks? Wouldn’t this also be playing right into their hands and giving them the ammunition to label us crude people unwilling to even talk? Someone might say the peace they’re offering is a sham, and they’re just full of it. Fine, I’m not going to deny it, but don’t willingly walk right into their trap. That’s just plain silly! Out maneuver. The trick is to keep a level-head.

Now, if the Egyptian government had given way under pressure, there wouldn’t have been any peace talks in Egypt a week later, after the initial smear dust had settled. There wouldn’t have been a daily 1-hour halt to allow aid. This brings me to my other peeve.

Peace? Peace? I hate the word…
If the Hamas powers-that-be don't like Egypt so much, and have been screaming foul play since the beginning, why did they deign to come over for their Gaza resolution meeting? Why of all the places in the world did they pick Egypt to meet their arch rival Fat-h (yes, the crazy irony of the Hamas- Fat-h situation isn't lost on me either)?

I really need someone to explain this... logically... to me.

And another thing, if to this day Fat-h, Hamas, and the ever-forgotten Palestinian Authority (yeah, the one that supposedly rules/leads/whatever, can't unite and get over their grudges and personal agendas, how do they plan on winning their war against Israel? One word… PRIORITIZE

Flash in the pan
So…why didn’t anyone scream at Iran when they bailed out on Hamas the moment the Israeli assault came to the ground, and it was time to either put up or shut up? What happened to all the slurs when they wouldn’t arm them after allegedly starting this whole thing (with the initial supplies and militant training)?

Why didn’t anyone lash out at Hisbollah when they clearly stated that they won’t be supporting Hamas by fighting alongside them, since they don’t want a repeat of 2006, after miscalculating the Israeli response to their kidnapping two of their own? (Anyone else see recurring patterns here?)

Why didn’t anyone point any fingers when Obama remained quiet and played the “there’s only one president for the United States at a time” card, while he was very vocal about the Mumbai bombing earlier?

Not that I had expected anything from any of these people in the first place. I’m just wondering.

Media Watch
The New Face of Politics: Digital Marketing
During my media watch I came across an article titled Israeli Gov't Holds First Twitter Press Conference.

Hold the freakin' presses! A full-fledged press conference in 140-character conversations? And not just any press conference, a global-issue press conference! You have to hand it to them, if nothing else these people are smart. I mean they're using very basic marketing principles, with profound impact:

1. Know your audience
2. Talk their language
3. Go to where they are
4. Be consistent

The entire world seems to live online now, so it makes perfect sense to not only hold their press conference on Twitter, but to create their own YouTube channel, MySpace page, and maintain a number of high-traffic blogs (most notably IsRaelli and IsraelPolitik). They've also orchestrated with their overseas consulates various forms of online presence such as the New York Consulate's facebook group, and this is only the stuff that I managed to hunt down in about 15 minutes! No kidding.

A quick look at all of these tools you'll notice one thing: consistency, which is something any half decent marketer knows, is a make or break element.

They're probably taking a page from Obama's campaign book, when he created his own campaign website, social networking and blogging platforms and YouTube channel to name a few tools. Or maybe he took a page from them... who knows. Time will tell.

They’re doing this and what are we doing? Chasing our tails. Embarrassing.

Fisk and Our “Corrupt” Nation
Another article I stumbled upon was one by renowned British journalist and author Robert Fisk, posted on The Independent about Why Egypt is Too Corrupt and Weak to Act.

I was intrigued. I respect Fisk. I read his work. But I was really disappointed with this particular offering. Not because of my loyalty to Egypt. Believe me, I know my country has faults aplenty. The problem was I felt that what he said in his article, while true, was out of context... or at the very least needed the added layer of what happens to Egypt and Egyptians outside of "Egypt's economic foundations [crumbling]" as a result of crossing its so-called allies. It didn’t make sense that for someone with so much insight into the goings on of the region not to refer to the undeniable fact that Egypt would stand alone in fighting the Israelis, Americans, Brits, and the other covert cohorts, if it ever opened the Rafah passageway for all Palestinians to come and go as they pleased. And fight them on her own land, the much-coveted Sinai? Why didn’t he talk about how opening the gate will give Israel a much stronger footing in Gaza when Palestinians start leaving in droves?

Instead, he gave his piece, in my opinion, a formulaic feel rather than a true evaluation of the Gaza crisis and its implications on Egypt, since everybody seemed hell bent on making Egypt a star in this catastrophe, albeit a notorious one. I mean he did a good job stating the key negatives of the government, which we all know by heart now. But, why did he discuss prison rapes and negligent doctors? Where was the context of how those examples fit in with Gaza? Was that what he needed to be talking about in light of the events?

I felt that surely Fisk could’ve done a better job at being unbiased, objective and analytical.

It shows you that one can't blindly follow and/or agree with someone or something all the time. We should always question things, and definitely think for ourselves.

The Plot Thickens
Put Up Or Shut Up
Now, I don’t know if my government has any hidden agendas. I can only deal with appearances, which seem to indicate that their prime concern is the country and citizens’ well being. Which is what any decent leader worth their salt should do (watch this space for the first action Obama takes that doesn’t bode well for the Arab World, but is awesome for the United States, then you’ll see what I mean).

Using the same measuring stick for Egypt’s lynch mob, I can’t say the same thing about them on two different levels, how they evaluate us, and their apparent agenda. For one, they compare us to people like Fisk who do little more than “voice” their concerns about how unjust things in the Middle East are, and that a resolution has to be reached. They get applauded for being so brave and “outspoken”, while we get blamed for not jumping without a safety net. And for two Hamas, and the other ringleaders (Ahmadinijad anyone?) seemed to be concerned with tearing Egypt down, and not actually ending Gaza’s suffering. Interesting how Khaled Meshaal chose to give an exclusive interview to Al Jazeera as his first action after the bombings started instead of, oh I don’t know… find a resolution!

Alright, if you’re so disappointed in us, maybe the "outspoken" so-called loud voices can win the war for you, Qatar can use their American base, Iran their ostensible nuclear warheads, and KSA their pools of oil, with the others cheering on from the sidelines with their good will and wagging tongues. Oh, but hold on… who’s actually picking up the proverbial pieces at the moment, now that it doesn’t pay to just talk? ... Say it with me.... EGYPT! For God’s sake Hamas and Fat-h cannot be in the same room without punching each other, Israel doesn’t deal directly with Hamas, and Hamas doesn’t acknowledge the Palestinian authority. Who mediates? All together now… Egypt.

I rest my case.

Mistakes
No one’s an angel, we all have our faults, and God knows they’re many, but given the context I think our faults really lie in the below

Egypt’s weak official media response
The government doesn’t seem to believe in the great impact of media and that knowledge is power. They need to take a long hard look at how Israel and the United States milk that media and copy them. There’s no shame in following the example of a master, and we have to admit, they are masters. Only difference is, we wouldn’t have been spinning lies.

And another thing… where is our version of Al Jazeera?! I’m not saying create something that spins lies, rather something with a strong, unrelenting, one-minded voice, that actually says the truth. We really do need media defense.

Egypt's lack of leadership
Egypt failed to fully lead as usual and bring the proverbial family together in time of strife. That’s what the eldest does. They envelope the wayward siblings and cousins, and puts all the ducks in a row. While Egypt did lead and continue to broker the peace agreement, I would have to agree with Heikal to some degree, that yes, Egypt did lose some of its soft power, and sway amongst the Arab world. I think “if you don’t use it you lose it” applies here.

I have to admit, I don’t think it’s all Egypt’s doing though, there are other powers at play here. But that’s a whole other story altogether.

Arabs’lack of unity
The Arabs have lost their innate willingness to band together through thick before thin. Sad.

Arab's lack of focus
Tell me what’s more important than joining forces and working out a solution - Following the mudslinging competition that went on between Barhoom and Egyptian Foreign Minister Ahmed Abou El Gheit?

Accusing Egypt of treachery?

Stoning Egyptian embassies?

I think not

Too much emotion
The Arab nation is way to emotional. They leave no room for logical, rational thinking. They also don’t allow opposing thought. To the majority there’s only one way to skin a cat. Well I have news for you, there isn’t. Not anymore. The state Palestine is in, and has been in since the mid 20th century proves it. We can’t win the way we want to win. We’re just beating our heads against a brick wall. It’s time to walk around that wall and stop the migraine.

In the End: The situation worsens.
At the time of going to print the death toll was 1200 Palestinians (of which over 60% are civilians, out of which 410 are children) and 13 Israelis (3 civilians). With that in mind what did Israel and US Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice agree to do? Sign an agreement on measures to stop Hamas from rearming after a ceasefire. If that doesn’t give you a bad case of high blood pressure I not sure what would.

I don’t know about you, but my problem with the whole situation is this:
The uncalled for attack on Egypt, which results in…
The lack of unity amongst the Arabs, while focusing on fringe issues at the expense of the real core, which results in…
Allowing Israel and the Western world (with the US and UK at the forefront) to have us exactly where they want us, and lead us like sheep. Divide and conquer ring any bells?

The writer would be happy to provide anyone with corroborations for everything mentioned in her article.

شوتايم والضحك على الدقون

2009-02-03T01:56:00.017+02:00

شوتايم والضحك على الدقون

وأنا بدعبس في قنوات الديكودر امبارح لاحظت قناة
MBC
دراما + اللي هاريينا باعلاناتها. قلت أما أشوف. كان عليها مسلسل الملك فاروق. قلت أما ابقى اتفرج عليها حبة قبل ما يشفروا القناه للزباين اللي زي حالاتي اللي مش عايزين يتباع لهم الهوا في ازايز بالحجم العائلي وياخدوا باقة بريمير. كفاية عليا اشتري حبة هوا ضغيرين في الازازة الوسط بس

المهم، حولت بعد شوية ولاحظت حاجة لطيفة قوي... قناة شو شاشة اكسترا مش موجودة. مكانها بقى قناة
MBC
دراما + اللي حتبقى حق حصري لاصحاب الازازة الكبيرة بس. يعني حبايبنا بتوع كشك شوتايم شالوا قناة من القنوات بتاعة معظم الباقات وحطوا بدلها واحدة لاغلى باقتين بس. ومن غير ما يقولوا لحد. هو مش عشان شاشة اكسترا كانت بتضيف أي حاجة الصراحة. بس لو هيشيلوها المفروض ان بديلها يبقى لنفس الباقات الاصلية... أو يرخصوا سعر الباقات بقيمة القناة المخلوعة

بس ده تمام زي ما عملوا مع
Discovery و Discovery Civilization
اللي بقوا
Discovery World
لباقة شو بريمير بس
يا عيني على الفهلوة... ناس ناصحة ناصحة! اتعلموا يا اصحاب الديكودر يا جهلة... هي دي الطريقة اللي الواحد بيستغل بيها الاحتكار... يطلع *&^٪ اللي بيشتروا منه

....................

ألا بالمناسبة... حد واخد باله من التغييرات الالمعية التانية اللي عمالين يعملوها؟ حاجات زي

1
عربوا تقريبا كل الاعلانات اللي عن القناة وبرامجها
طيب هو احنا ليه محتاجين اعلان بالعربي عن مسلسل انجليزي؟ اللي هيتفرج اكيد اكيد عنده فهم ولو بسيط لللغة، يعني هيعرف يمشي حاله... بس ممكن تعدي لو العملية مش على طول. أصل منظرها غريب قوي... كلام الممثلين بالانزليجي وكلام المذيع والكتابة بتاعت التوقيت بالعربي

2
بيغطوا أي اسم أو علامة تجارية لأي منتج اجنبي بيظهر في أي برنامج على
E! Entertainment
(ماشي بس ليه؟ عشان ده اعلان مثلا؟ احنا مش الجمهور المنشود فـ مش فارقة. وبعدين هو انا مش دافعة في البتاع ده عشان تبقى الفرجة بمزاجي أنا من غير ما حد يفرض عليا حاجة. حتى دي يا ربي)

3
بيقطعوا الحاجات اللي مش عاجباهم زي ما عملوا مع حلقة
According to Jim
لما الحلقة كانت عن ان ربنا ظهر للبطل
(زي ما قلت من شوية هو مش الواحد مشترك في الافتكاس ده عشان يتفرج على مزاجه هو مش مزاج صاحب المحل؟ أمال احنا هربنا من التلفزيون المصري ليه؟ عشان يبقى بفلوسي يا كلاااااااااااب)

4
ولا الاضافة النيرة اللي اضافوها لقناة
TCM
بقوا بيترجموا شوية من الافلام وشوية لأ، ليه مش فاهمة بس ما علينا. مشكلتي في الموضوع ده ان الترجمة نظام
Follow me
بس بالعربي، فتلاقي الكلام واكل تلت الشاشة. زي ما كان بيحصل في التمانينات كده. يمكن عشان الافلام قديمة فـ عايزين يساعدوا الاحساس بالقدم فـ بيعملوا كده؟ جايز برده

5
احدث لمسة بقى هي تعريب قناة
Hallmark
تحس ان المذيعين مترجم آلي سواء من طريقة الالقاء أو من الكلام اللي بيقولوه. مثلا يعني فيه مسلسل اسمه
Kingdom
نسبة لاسم عيلة البطل. تقوم الولية اللي بتعلن عن المسلسل في آخر الاعلان بعد ما راحت وجت وقالت قصائد شعر في الاكشن بتاع المسلسل تنهي كلامها بايه... "انه مملكة" ... طاب لييييييه؟ ماحدش قال للناس دي ان اسم الشخص مابيترجمش؟ يعني اسم الراجل
Kingdom
بالانزليجي و"كينجدوم" بالعربي و
Kingdom
بالفرانساوي وحتى بالهندي كمان... مش بقول لكم مترجم آلي... معنى كده بقى لو واحدة في مسلسل عربي اسمها وفاء وبيعلنوا عنه في قناة بالانجليزي الست المذيعة هتقول
"she's Loyalty"
أو... ممكن قنوات شوتايم تبقى قنوات وقت العرض
ده ايه الحلاوة دي

بس أنا احب افهم بقى ...الهدف من الهجص الاستانبولي ده ايه بالظبط؟ عيل فاضي وبيلعب مثلا؟ حب ازعاج الآخرين؟ لانه اكيد اكيد مش تحسين خدمة

هم حظهم المدوحس اني باخد بالي من الحاجات دي واني مش بسكت

Going Local: You Want My Money, You Have to Earn it

2009-02-01T00:30:00.005+02:00

I recently got an invitation from a friend of mine to join a group called Let’s Go Local, which is a group that aims to support Egyptian products. I also found out that she had written something about using only Egyptian products.

Now anyone who knows me knows how much I love my country, even though I have x-ray vision when it comes to its faults. For me one thing has nothing to do with the other. To me the problem is in the people, not the land, or what Egypt represents to me. That said, the invitation got me thinking: am I willing to sacrifice my comfort to support my country’s local products? The answer is simple: no. However, ask me: Am I willing to support my country by buying good local products? Yes, in a heartbeat (which is what I do most of the time anyway).

Call me selfish, but I’m not willing to sacrifice my comfort to support a product that doesn’t respect me enough to create something of acceptable standards. Why should I? I work hard for my money (hard being the operative word here), and I deserve to feel the outcome of my hard work (again, hard work here is key).

Other than my own discomfort, if I buy mediocre products, it would just be an act of enabling the bad products to remain bad. After all, they would still be able to make money even when they are not up to par. Tell me again, why would they want to work harder? This would just be feeding the greatest downside of the so-called “government mentality” that everyone suffers from: where all you have to do to get a paycheck is show up. Because you offer mediocre work (or none at all), you get paid peanuts. Because that skinny paycheck is not enough for a decent life, you are disgruntled, dissatisfied, and offer even more mediocre output. This also affects all other aspects of your life and everyone else around you, because you are not an island, or live in a vacuum, but if I go down that road right now, I won’t finish this piece anytime soon.

I’m sorry, but I do not see that starting with an act of good faith works here. I cannot start buying low quality products in the hope that they are going to improve. That just doesn’t make any sense. Why would they want to do that? We all know it’s hard work to be good. Easy is always better –especially if you can get away with it. The way I see it, this is a situation of ‘help me help you’. You have to be good enough if you want my patronage. It’s a buyer’s market now, so get with it.

You might think I’m harsh. So what if I am? This is tough love. I love my country, but I won’t support its bad habits.

فرفش كده وخليك حلو

2009-01-28T00:30:00.002+02:00

فرفش كده وخليك حلو

فيه حاجات في العيشة بتاعتنا دي ماينفعش الواحد ياخدها على صدره... لازم ياخدها بالورب... من ابرزها

الحب

الجواز

الحموات

السواقة في مصر

خدمة عملاء شوتايم

فتاوى شيوخ الفضائيات

الملقبون بدعاة الشباب

اقوال السفهاء منا

افعال الحمقى

وسط البلد

السياسة

محاولة ركن العربية في أي حتة في القاهرة الكبرى

لما واحد ييجي يركن صف تاني ويقفل عليك ... من غير ما يمور عربيته

لما عسكري المرور ييجي يكلبش العربية اللي راكنة صف تاني وقافلة عليك

شريط الأس أم أس اللي عمال يجري ورا نفسه على الفضائيات ... مين الناس دي؟

اعلانات ميلودي يتحدى الملل... لو كنت ولد كنت قلت ميلودي بيتحدى ايه بالظبط

البالطو الابيض اللي لازم نجيبه مع شنطة اسعاف العربية عشان "عدم المخالفة"

الموبايلات اللي بترن في وسط الفيلم في السينما

موضة الشعر المكهرب بتاعت الولاد

الناس

بالمختصر كده الدنيا بقت لازم تتاخد بالورب... معاكوا لبان من اللي بيطرقع؟

ليلة خان الخليلي

2009-01-27T00:50:00.016+02:00

قررنا نروح خان الخليلي ناكل فطير عند فطاطري الحسين، ونحبس بشاي وشيشة في الفيشاوي. الدنيا ماكانتش زحمة جدا- على غير العادة- ولكن... الباعة هما هما ...تحس انهم هيشدوك جوا المحل بالعافية. تفاني في أداء العمل مافيش بعد كده. بس احنا شعب فنان دايما نحب نطور من نفسنا ونحسن من اداءنا لوظايفنا. وعملا بمبدأ التطوير ده لاحظت بعض التجديد في بعض الجمل البيعية، كان من اقواها...

أتعس الله مسائكم -- تحية واحد -بابتسامة عريضة -لجماعة اصحابه في الكشك اللي جنبه

قعدة على النيل للعائلات -- الجملة اللي حاول صبي القهوة يبيع لنا بيها القعدة في القهوة بتاعتهم اللي في زقاق من أزقة الخان اللي الواحد بيمشي فيها بالورب

ربنا يطولك شعرك يا بيه -- جملة استعطافية قالتها المتسولة لواحد من اللي كانوا قاعدين معانا واللي كان حالق شعره واحد... هي اسمها واحد اللي قبل الزيرو مش كده؟ معلش اصلي محلقتش قبل كده

اشتري مني واحدة تتجوز بكرة --ما تفهموش غلط، البياع كان غرضه شريف. ده كان بيحاول يبيع واحدة من الـ "ميكرو" شيشة اللي كانوا معاه لواحد من القعدة. بس الراجل كان متجوز فقاله.

الصراحة البياع كان عنده روح المثابرة فرد: اشتري واحدة وتتجوز اربعة بكرة

صاحبنا ما سكتش قام رادد: تجيش ابيعلك اللي عندي، بالعيال؟

آي لاف يو -- واحدة ماسكة دف (مش رء) وبتلف بيه في الخان، كانت بتحاول تستعطف واحد من الجروب بتاعنا واحنا بناكل عشان يسيبها تضربلنا شوية انغام على الدف (مش الرء) بتاعها واحنا بناكل، عشان يبقى عشا على انغام الموسيقى

شعب فكهي صحيح

والا التسلية! مقلكوش ... واحنا بنحاول نركن... كل عربية طلعلها السايس الخصوصي بتاعها... لا تقولي فاليه باركينج بقى ولا خدمة الفنادق السوبر لوكس. ده حتى عشان يضمن انه يوصلك للركنة بسلام كان السايس بيركب على شنطة العربية .

بس الشيشة كانت عجب والشاي بالنعناع آخر سلطنة والصحبة مزاج عالي. احلى كلام

(ويا دينا هتوحشينا)

ملحوضة: شكر خاص للنقرة اللي كعبلتني في الضلمة وسابتلي كدمة على ركبتي عشان افتكر بيها الليلة... صور ايه يا راجل، مافيش احسن من الوجع يفكرك

Dutch MP, Geert Wilders, to be Tried for Views on Islam

2009-01-22T11:48:00.004+02:00

The Independent reported today that the Amsterdam Appeals Court decided that Geert Wilders, Dutch MP, most famous for his anti-Islam documentary Fitna, will be put on trial for his views on Islam.

Wilders, and his movie had caused a huge anger wave last year, with both sides denouncing each other.

Personally, I thought his movie was a one-sided, biased look at Islam, that could be easily refuted, and shown for how out of context it really is, by anyone who understands Islam properly. His documentary is filled with half truths.

For example:

When he quoted Surah 8 Verse 60
"Prepare for them whatever force and cavalry ye are able of gathering to strike terror into the hearts of the enemies, of Allah and your enemies."

He didn't continue to the very next verse, Verse 61, of the same Surah
"But if they incline to peace, you (also) incline to it, and put your trust in Gof. Verily, He is the All-Hearer, the All-Knower"

There's also his quote of Surah 4 Verse 56
"Those who have disbelieved our signs, we shall roast them in fire whenever their skins are cooked to a turn, we shall substitute new skins for them that they may feel the punishment: verily Allah is sublime and wise"

Verse 57 of Surah 4 goes to say:
"But those who believe and do deeds of righteousness, We shall admit them to Gardens under which rivers flow (Paradise), abiding therein forever. Therein they shall have purified wives/husbands and We shall admit them to shades wide and ever-deepening."

Then there's his quote of Surah 4 Verse 89
"They but wish that ye should reject faith as they do, and thus be on the same footing as they, so take not friends from their ranks until they flee in the way of Allah."

To give it the fair context he should've continued with the next verse, Verse 90 from Surah 4
"Except those who join a group between whom and you there is a treaty (of peace), or those who approach you with hearts restraining them from fighting you as well as fighting their own people. If Allah had pleased, He could have given them power over you, and they would have fought you: Therefore if they withdraw from you but fight you not, and (instead) send you (Guarantees of) peace, then Allah Hath opened no way for you (to war against them)."

There were also specific reasons why each one of these verses were revealed -something Wilders never saw fit to share.

Now these are just 3 little examples of how disproportionate his documentary actually is. I don't plan on rehashing the whole thing, because the documentary has been talked to death, and honestly, the Quran doesn't need measly me to defend it. I'm just giving context.

On the flip side, just like there are all the verses that Wilders used, there are others that talk about, things like, freedom of religion, talking (and not fighting) as method of persuasion, patience, and acceptance of others to name a few supposedly "humanitarian" ideals (as Wilders likes to call it).

For example:

Surah 109

"Say: O ye that reject Faith! I worship not the which ye worship, Nor will ye worship that which I worship. And I will not worship that which ye have been wont to worship. Nor will ye worship that which I worship, To you be your Way, and to be mine."

Or Surah 41 Verses 34 & 35

"Nor can goodness and Evil be equal. Repel (Evil) with what is better. Then will he between whom and thee was hatred become as it were thy friend and intimate!" "And no one will be granted such goodness except those who exercise patience and self-restraint, none but persons of the greatest good fortune"

Surah 60 Verse 8

"God forbids you not, with regard to those who fight you not for your Faith nor drive you out of your homes, from dealing kindly and justly with them: for God loves those who are just"

While he is shocked from the decision and deems it a black day for "freedom of expression" in his country, I think he should pause and look at himself. He is doing exactly what he's denouncing. Other than the fact that he's acting just like all the fundamentalists he's against (albeit with a fancy suit, and hair color), he too is not allowing others to be free and live as they choose. He basically wants to remove Islam, and everything about it from Europe, just because it doesn't meet with his outlook on life. I re-watched his BBC interview after reading the news update. The guy is a thinly veiled bigot and supremacist. He is also a politician who needs to be controversial to thrive in the public eye. He does not believe in Islam therefore it shouldn't exist in his country.

He starts off a sentence with "The negative aspects of a multi-cultured society..." That sentence is just wrong in itself.

He has a problem with the lack of a dominant Dutch culture. As a solution he wants to add to their constitution that they're a country that is dominantly based on Christianity, Judaism, and Humanitarianism. So basically everything else just isn't allowed in his country.

He also says "We should learn to be intolerant with the intolerant." He believes in giving conditional tolerance, meaning he'll tolerate you only if he likes you and agrees with you, if you don't agree then he won't tolerate you. Well that's not really tolerance, that, at best, is hypocrisy and double standards... If what he stands for isn't the other side of the fundamentalist coin he's condemning then I don't know what is. (I recommend you watch the whole interview, it's filled with examples of the kind of puritanical society he wants the Netherlands to be.)

One of his mistakes, I think, is confusing between the religion of Islam and the misguided fanatics who abuse Islam. Both Wilders and the zealots he's against, seem to forget that Islam is based on dealing with others, otherwise known in Arabic as "al moamala". What Mr. Wilders doesn't know, or didn't research thoroughly, and the extremists hiding behind Islam have lost sight of, is that The Quran (that Wilders, and the like, seem to blame) is broken down (by Islamic fokaha or learned men) into 13 parts: 1 for the dos and don'ts, and the other 12 are for how to deal with other human beings. Things as simple as smiling when you meet someone in the street is considered, by God, an action worthy of reward. A religion that puts so much emphasis on dealing with others can't be as tyrannical as Wilders makes it out to be in his movie, can it? It wouldn't make any sense.

The movie clearly showed that Wilders does not understand the core of Islam, and merely has a beef with the vocal fundamentalists (and perhaps the ever-growing muslim population in the Netherlands, which appears to be eating out of his pie). Had he researched the religion properly and unbiasedly he would've realized that there is more to Islam, and that is it peaceful. He wouldn't have given a one-sided account.

One very small, but very significant part of the video that Wilders overlooked, proves that this wave of terrorism that has leeched itself on Islam, has nothing to do with the core of the religion. In one of the speeches in the movie, the speaker shouts "You will take over USA. You will take over UK. You will take over Europe. You will defeat them all. You will get victory. You will take over Egypt. We believe in Allah" If as Wilder says it's about Islam taking over then think again, Egypt is already a Muslim country. It's not about Islam in the absolute, it's about a specific way of life, a fundamentalist, unforgiving way of life that takes cover under Islam, but has nothing to do with what Islam stands for.

Some might wonder why we don't see more grand gestures of good from Muslims like we see from their scary counterparts. Well, as habit, terrorists (regardless of their affiliations or religion) are grandstanders. They need an audience, otherwise their objective of terrorizing isn't met. On the other hand, genuine do-gooders don't need an audience, they only need God to know. Whoever believes in God would agree with me when I say that whatever you do, God sees it, hence there's no need for an audience. Try to read what I'm writing with an unbiased eye, you'll see what I mean... You might even be able to accept it without having to agree with it -which is another key trait of Islam and well-balanced muslims.

Now, I'm not one of the learned in Islam. But... I'm a Muslim. I'm a female. I'm not veiled. I'm free to express my opinions and my choices. I'm free to live my life. I love my religion. I haven't been forced or brainwashed into loving my religion. I believe in it. I respect it. I believe that my religion has more to do with love than with hate. I believe that my religion is forgiving. I also believe that the problems lie with the misguided people not with the religion. Just as it lies with the misguided people of the other religions.

I am the exact opposite of what he makes Islam and muslims to be. There are many others like me.

Personally, I believe he deserves to go on trial. There's a significant difference between freedom of expression and disrespectful misinformation.

It's time the whole world finally learned how to truly exercise the concept of freedom.

Things I Noticed as I Watched the Obama Inauguration

2009-01-20T20:08:00.009+02:00

Dick Cheney left the White House in a wheel chair, as advised by his doctors because of a back injury while moving houses. The beginning of Divine retribution?
Some people were even heard to be booing him.
George Bush Sr., 84 years old, had a really hard time walking to the inauguration platform. He looked like he was in so much pain as he waddled on like a penguin. No one knew why. Again... divine retribution?
George Bush Sr, and Barbra Bush were not received onto the inauguration platform with any cheer. None whatsoever.
Bush looked stranded on the steps leading to the platform… He couldn’t climb down easily, no one was there to help him. No one was acknowledging him from the sides of the railings. Very awkward.
Jimmy Carter (entering before George Bush Sr.) was received with great fanfare onto the inauguration platform. The general public was cheering loudly for him and VIPS on either side of the railings were clapping and talking to him. Carter was beaming with happiness.
Carter, 84 years old, walked along side wife Rosalynn, like he was a 20 year old.
Bill Clinton and wife Hillary Clinton (entering right after George Bush Sr.), were received with a great deal of cheers, claps and pats on the back, as they walked onto the inauguration platform.
Comparison of couples entering before and after Bush Sr. was unavoidable because of the huge difference. Bush Sr. made a really disappointing sandwich filling. How embarrassing for him. But then again, the Bushes don’t really care about anything but themselves.
George W. Bush was received onto the inauguration platform with only polite clapping. Hail to the chief could be heard very clearly. Could the people be looking forward to him leaving perhaps?
He too was booed out of the White House
In spite of political differences, everyone involved knew how to act professionally and put their differences aside for the greater good.
Peaceful change of leadership… We come every four years to democratically elect a leader… The power of the ballot over the bullet… some of the things said by Senator Dianne Feinstein of California, Chair of the joint Congressional Inaugural Committee, in her opening speech. I’m jealous.
Even an officially secular nation like the US believes in God. They invoke God right after the opening speech. They do a benediction at the end of the inauguration ceremony.
Peace was very evident on the faces of everyone watching.
Obama is human! You can see he’s a little tense as he repeats his oath too soon. He is also, very graceful under pressure. He helps out the Supreme Court Justice swearing him in when he fumbles up and rearranges the words. Well, it is a very stressful moment. Now that’s hope for everyone.
Damn these people are well organized, and detail-oriented. I’m so jealous. Where are we from all of this? We really need to get a move on, it’s so embarrassing now it’s not even funny anymore.
His speech… I’m sure copies of it will be available soon, but in the meantime, here’s my humble, untrained observations.
Very graceful: thanks Bush for his service years and help with transition.
Committed to memory: He wasn’t reading from a paper. He knows what’s important: relating to your audience, eye contact, reaching out.
Very assuring: he promises his people that together they’re going to solve their problems
A breath of fresh air: no more dogma in politics. Everyone deserves seeing their dreams coming true.
Riveting: everyone was fully attentive, hanging on every word he’s saying.
Friendly: "America is everyone’s friend"
Strong: “We are ready to lead once more”
I don’t know about you, but I thought that was a backhanded slap to Bush. Good on you Obama.
Wise: Being powerful does not give you the right to act as you choose. "Our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please"
I think that is another slap to Bush.
Mindful: “Power grows through prudent use”
Peaceful: "We will work to leave Iraq to its people, and work towards a peace in Afghanistan".
Diverse: "Our patchwork heritage is a strength not a weakness" (Are you listening! We practically invented patchwork heritage!!)
Powerful: "We will not apologize for our way of life... You cannot outlast us and we will defeat you."
Acknowledging: “To the Muslim world: We seek a new way forward…With mutual interests”
New: “The world has changed and we have to change with it.”
Welcoming challenges: “Nothing more satisfying than giving our all to a challenging task.”
Very graceful and heartfelt: the whole speech was a joy to listen to. Whether it’s actually sincere, whether it will translate into actual actions, remains to be seen.
Obama acknowledges different faiths in his speech. The Reverand giving Benediction does the same.
They finally get it. There isn’t only one way to live a life. There are other people on this planet with other ways of life, beliefs and needs. They too deserve to live, and live well. They too deserve respect.
I am so jealous for my country. Come on Egypt. You have the makings of a great country. Where are you? Where are the Egyptians?

After Israel's Unilateral Ceasefire Decision: They're Still Blaming Egypt!

2009-01-17T23:43:00.011+02:00

Un-freaking-believable! Don't you guys get bored? Don't you at Al Jazeera have anything better to do than keep attacking Egypt? Fine, we're assholes. Stop dealing with us. Remove us from your peace equation for Gods sake!

Instead of focusing on Egypt's alleged half-assed performance, deal with the fiasco of Livni and Rice signing an agreement to stop Hamas rearming. What the hell? What's Rice got to do with anything? And how does this extend to the upcoming Obama administration (you can't possibly think that they haven't been informed with this prior to the action... they'll have to deal with the consequences)? This is so ridiculous words fail me right now.

Olmert just announced a unilateral ceasefire, and what's the first thing you do? Say that it's a slight to Egypt!!! What the F***! How is Olmert's acceptance of Mubarak's ceasefire request from his speech of today, a slight to Egypt? Are you guys for real? Mubarak said exactly the same thing in his first speech, requesting Israel to stop their attacks, and for Hamas take a chill pill... not as political journalist Dr. Azmy Beshara says, that he remained quiet until the 22nd day. The fact that Olmert finally agreed, does not mean they're insulting Egypt, it doesn't mean that Egypt has been quiet, and it also doesn't mean that Israel cannot deal with Hamas anymore, as you're trying to delude yourselves and anyone who believes you. For God's sake the death toll is over 1200 palestinians to 13 israelis. Get Real! The truth is they're getting heat from ALL OVER THE WORLD, and the UN is pressuring them. Don't kid yourselves.

And don't worry about us dealing with Israel wanting to monitor the Rafah border with their military, and how demeaning that is for us. Mubarak has officially rejected it, and doesn't plan on accepting it any time soon. How compassionate of you. Go figure out your shit first then come deal with ours!

My father was right... you really can't reason with a fool.

مصر الصغرى: بقلم أحمد المسلماني

2009-01-15T19:59:00.002+02:00

قبل أن تصغُر مصر ويضمر الوطن.. قبل أن يسيطر تحالف عديمي الموهبة ويسود ائتلاف الذين لا يعلمون.. قبل أن تصبح الثقافة بوزن الصحافة، والصحافة بوزن السياسة.. والثلاث دون المكانة.

قبل أن يتوه بناة الأهرام في بلادهم، ويغمر الطوفان مصر الصغري... كانت هناك مصر أخري من قبل أن نخطئ الطريق

.* * *

ما الذي يجري في مصر؟ عام لمسيحية أسلمت وعام لمسلم تنصّر.. معركة حول الحجاب وأخري حول النقاب، وثالثة حول رواية، ورابعة حول مسرحية، وخامسة حول فيلم سينمائي، وسادسة حول بول الرسول،

وسابعة حول إرضاع الكبير.. ما هذا الهذيان الذي أطاح برأس الوطن؟ من ذا الذي يضع أجندة الاهتمام في بلادنا؟ من الذي جعل من هذه الموضوعات التافهة مائدة حوار لسبعين مليون مواطن في مصر؟

من الذي جعل من التخلف مادة للحوار، ومن الجهل بداية للنقاش؟ ومن الهرولة خارج التاريخ خريطة للطريق؟

* * *

لقد تحوّلت مصر من توازن القوة إلي توازن الضعف.. كان الإمام محمد عبده بوزن خصومه، كما كان طه حسين بوزن مخالفيه.. وكانوا جميعاً بوزن بلادهم.. الآن جاء إلي السطح من أعماق الأرض ديدان وطحالب وبقايا كائنات، جاءوا علي قلب تافهٍ واحد.. بهدف واحد: إرباك هذا الوطن. تفريغ عزيمته وفضّ همته.. إنه الدور السياسي للتفاهة؟

* * *

إن ما يجمع كثيراً من رموز الحقبة في مصر.. في السياسة والصحافة والثقافة.. في الحكومة والمعارضة.. في اليمين واليسار.. هو التفاهة!

إنها سمتُ أشخاصٍ أعرفهم واحداً واحداً، هذا وزير وهذا رئيس تحرير وهذا رجل أعمال وهذا رجل دين وهذا صاحب نفوذ وقرار

.لقد
انعكست التفاهة العليا هذه إلي طبقات متتالية من التفاهة، حتي أصبحت «رنّات المحمول» واحدة من أكبر الاهتمامات القومية في مصر، كما أصبحت الرسائل القصيرة عبر الفضائيات من أشخاص مجهولين إلي أشخاص مجهولين تعبيراً عن مشاعر مجهولة... رقماً مالياً يدعو للفزع

.* * *

انشغل أعداء الدنيا بهوامش الدين، وانشغل شيوخ الدين بَعَرض الحياة الدنيا واتبعّوا جميعاً طريق المجرمين

.* * *

لقد صغُرت مصر
بِصغر مَنْ فيها، بدبلوماسية صغيرة لا تليق بدولة جنوب الصحراء، بخصخصة غير أمينة يقودها سماسرة صغار.. بنخبة لا تجيد إحكام شيء غير رابطة عنق ونصف حذاء

.* * *

لا يليق بنا أن نمضي هكذا، حان وقت إعادة الاعتبار إلي هذا الوطن.. إلي إعادة بلدنا إلي وزنه وحجمه ودوره الذي يليق.. إلي العودة من مصر الصغري إلي مصر.

Gaza: Your Opinion (for Identity Magazine)

2009-01-15T11:22:00.005+02:00

Identity magazine will run a special report on the Gaza crisis in their Feb '09 issue. They're asking people to answer the following two questions along with their name, title and picture (if possible). It'll only take a few minutes of your time. Thank :)...

Why is Egypt being attacked for what's happening in Gaza?

What does Egypt have to do towards Gaza's current events?

جددت رخصة العربية

2009-01-14T15:27:00.016+02:00

نزناز تجديد الرخصة دة كان عمال ينخور في نافوخي من أول ديسيمبر وأنا عاملة نفسي عبيطة. بس وصلت العملية لمداها فقلت ما بدهاش هروح وأمري الى الله. ربنا يستر وميحصلش معايا زي قصص الرعب اللي عمالة اسمع عنها بسبب النمر الجديدة، والضرائب الخزعبلية... ولا المخالفات... يجعل كلامنا خفيف عليها! بس أنا كان عندي مغامرة اضافية على كل ده... السنة دي
my Trixie
( ده دلع عربيتي)
عندها فحص. ربنا معايا.

قررت استنصح وآخد يوم اجازة من الشغل في وسط الاسبوع عشان الزحمة والريحة والاختناق. ولكن زي الشاطرة راحت عليا نومة. ااااه من أولها كدة. طيب. وصلت المرور الساعة 11.30 .أول ما دخلت صابتني حالة توهان مش عارفة ابدأ من اين. لاقيت يافطة باجراءات اللوحة الجديدة. ماشي بس أنا عايزة اجدد الرخصة مش لوح بس. دخلت عند شبابيك المعاملات لاقيت لمة على اليمين وانت داخل حولين مكتب قاعد عليه واحد قدامه كمبيوتر وورق كتير. وقفت باحترامي عشان اللي قبلي يخلص وبعدين اسأل سؤالي، قام داخل قدامي واحد ذوق جدا ولا كأني واقفة. بس على مين. أه أنا مبحبش الزنقة ومتربية وبتاع بس أوعى وشك برده. قلت بصوت قوي الشخصية "عن اذنك لوسمحت أنا واقفة الاول" قام باعد. برده الادب حلو، وعشان مش متوقع اليومين دول فـ بتاخد الناس على خوانة.
سألت صاحب المكتب "من فضلك عايزة اعرف اجراءات تجديد الرخصة" قام مشاور بألاطة لورقة على المكتب شبه مستخبية وسط اخواتها مكتوب عليها بالاحمر الاجراءات. استغربت. هو دة المكان المناسب عشان الورقة دي؟ هو ده أوضح مكان يعني؟ وسط الزحمة اللي مش باين هي زحمة ليه أصلا؟ أنا لغاية ما مشيت من المرور ماعرفتش الراجل ده كان عنده زحمة ليه. أموت اعرف كان بيبيع ايه.
المهم عرفت أني لازم اشتري شوية ورق ودمغات من الخزنة. طيب. فين يا عم الخزنة. برة مكان ما كنتي. يا سلام.

رحت الشباك.

من فضلك
أيوه يا بنتي (فرحت أنا... حسيت شكله راجل محترم كده)
لو سمحت عايزة أجدد رخصة العربية
يبقى انتي محتاجة الورق ده (ومد ايده جاب شوية ورق بألوان واحجام مختلفة... غالبا عشان الناس تتسلى... ما علينا لمي لسانك وخليكي في القصة) عندك فحص؟
ايوة (استغربت جدا عرف ازاي؟ بس بعدين ركزت... ما هو يا عندك يا معندكيش والورق من عنده لازم يسألك يا فالحة عشان تشتري!)
يبقى محتاجة دي كمان
من فضلك هو أنا مفروض اعمل ايه دلوقتي؟
روحي اعملي التأمين الاجباري
فين ده؟
في الأخر خالص الاكشاك اللي في الوش
وبعدين؟
تعملي المخالفات (اه عارفاها أنا دي!) والفحص وتصوري البطاقة (أخ... نسيت البطاقة مع أبويا!)
طيب لو مش معايا البطاقة؟
ممكن تملي الورق اللي معاكي وتسلمي الرخصة عشان المخالفات وتروحي تجيبي البطاقة وتيجي تاني. احنا قاعدين لغاية 5
شكرا
25 جنيه
اتفضل.

اخدت الورق وتحبيشة الدمغات اللي عليها وأنا باتساءل... يا ترى ليه الورق ده بـ25 جنيه؟ ايه اللي وصل قيمة 4 ورقات والحبر اللي عليها للسعر ده؟ أمال الخاص يدفعك كام؟ (يا بنتي يا حبيبتي لمي لسانك وبطلي الخروج عن النص).

اتمشيت من أول المرور لآخره وأنا باتفرج على الناس من تحت لتحت وهي قاعدة في حالة استسلام تام عشان أوصل لكشك التأمين الاجباري -مش عاجبني الاسم ده مش كان زمان تأمين شامل؟ وكنا بندفعه زي الشطار من غير سؤال؟ ايه لازمته بقى "الاجبار" طيب خلي الناس محتفظة ببرستيجها الصوري على الاقل (انتي مصممة مش كده؟)

رحت كشك من اكشاك التأمين

من فضلك. (بص لي ومقالش حاجة. كمل كلام مع زميله وتحريك الورق اللي قدامه. الصراحة معرفتش اعمل ايه من استغرابي. فضلت واقفة في صمت)
لو سمحت (بدأت تاني وهو برده مفيش ...جمدت صوتي شوية وجربت مرة كمان)
لو سمحت عايزة اعمل تأمين سنة للعربية
حاضر (وكمل البله اللي هو فيه. فكرت، هو البني أدم ده مش واخد باله أن فيه شركات تأمين تانيه جنبه؟ ممكن في لمح البصر اسيبه وأروح الكشك اللي جنبه على طول؟)
أخيرا فاق وشخبط شخبوطين على ورقتين وسألني من غير ما يبصلي: سنة؟
ايوه
75 جنيه

اتفضل (احتست في الورق اللي معايا. اصلي لسة مجبتش دوسيه الورق المتألق دائما. واحد ابن حلال واقف ورايا عرض يمسك الورق عشان اطلع الفلوس. اخد باله من الورق الفاضي فقال لي اني لازم اجيب طفاية الحريق بتاعتي تتفحص عشان الورقة الحمرا دي تتختم. شكرته على المعلومة المهمة اللي ماكانتش مكتوبة على ورقة اللحمة بتاعة الاجراءات اللي على المكتب اياه)
اخدت الورق واشتريت الدوسية وبعدين كلمت ابويا عشان البطاقة. طبعا اتريق عليا وقالي حد يروح يعمل ورق رسمي من غير اثبات شخصية؟ طيب هيتحققوا من شخصيتك ازاي؟ عنده حق. بعد ما ضحك عليا شوية والبرشامة اللي أنا مصممة ما اتفهاش من بقي ابدا، تطوع مشكورا انه يعدي عليا يديني البطاقة. مليت الورق وختمت الطفاية استعدادا لباقي الاجراءات أما توصل بطاقتي. وانا عمالة املأ الورق ضربت بعيني لاقيت كشك من الاكشاك مكتوب عليه التأمين الاجباري. قلقت. هو التأمين ده غير التأمين اللي عملته ولا ايه؟ رحت الشباك وسألت الموظفة البشوشة، قالت لي لأ يا حبيبتي هو هو مش محتاجة تعملي تأمين تاني.

ورقة من اللي كانوا معايا كانت رخمة حبتين ومليانة أسئلة. رحت تاني للموظفة البشوشة (اللي مالهاش دعوة بالموضوع خالص) وسألتها على الورقة قالت لي انتي مش محتاجة تكتبي أي حاجة هنا (في الحتة اللي كانت مضايقاني واللي مش باين عليها أني مش أنا اللي مفروض املاها... ما علينا). الظاهر صعبت عليها فطلبت مني الورق بتاعي. اخدت الدوسيه ورتبت الورق ودبسته وقالت لي اعمل ايه بالتفصيل و شاورت لي على مكان كل حاجة. كل ده وهي وزميلتها مبتسمين ومن غير ما يكونوا عايزين مني أي حاجة. مطلعوش مني بأي منفعة خالص يعني. لله تماما! مقلكوش كنت سعيدة بيهم قد ايه!

بعد ما اخدت بطاقتي من ابويا حبيبي وصورتها، رحت عشان اقابل شبح المخالفات. سلمت الرخصة و اتحققوا من شخصيتي وقالولي استنى شوية. وانا مستنية ناس دخلت وناس خرجت وناس شتمت وناس دعت.

الصراحة الراجل اللي عند شباك السيدات كان ظريف ودمه خفيف. نادى عليا وقالي "بروين أنتي مش هتبطلي شقاوة بقى؟" سألته "شقاوة ايه؟" قالي "طيب يا ستي 28 جنيه بس". الظاهر كان قصده يضحَك معايا شوية بس أنا ماليش في الطيب نصيب. الحمد لله ربنا ستر وملبستش أي مخالفات جزافية السنة دي (يا بنتي عيب كده... اسكتي بقى!)

بعد ما اخدت ورقة المخالفات الحبيبة كان فاضل لي فحص العربية و فك النمر ايذانا باستقبال النمر الجديدة أم حروف وحركات

دخَلت العربية ف"باركن" المرورعشان تتفحص. أول ما وقفت العربية لاقيت واحد بمفك طلع مش عارفة من اين سألني أفك لحاضرتك النمر؟ قلتله ماشي. خلص الفك وسألني بشياكة حاجة تاني يا فندم؟ يعني إبي بالمعلوم يا ابله.
سألته :انت هتفضل هنا عشان تركب لي النمر الجديدة؟
قال لي :ما ينفعش اللي يفك يركب.
استغربت جدا. سألته: ليه؟
رد: عشان في ناس بتطلب نخرملها في النمر الجديدة عشان مش عايزين يخرموا اخرام جديدة في العربية. بس دة ممنوع ولو لجنة شافت عربية بنمر جديدة مخرومة يدفَعوها غرامة 1000 في ساعتها!
كنت عايزة اشرح له ان اللي بيقوله ده مالوش دخل بأن نفس الشخص يفك النمر القديمة ويركب النمر الجديدة بس كبرت دماغي. هو غالبا كان عايز يضمن حقه.

بعد عملية فك النمر (اللي حسستني أني داخلة على حقبة جديدة) لاقيت مهندس شيك بجاكيت جلد
واضح انه راس الكرمبة بتاع موضوع الفحص ده. سألته أنا مفروض أعمل ايه؟ شرحلى أن في حد هيرفع بصمة العربية (اللي ما كنتش عارفة هي ايه بالظبط بس مش مشكلة، بكرة اعرف) وحد تاني يفحص العربية وبعدين الورق يتمضي ويتختم و خلاص كده. نده لواحد لابس عفريتة عشان يرفع البصمة. جه وفي ايده المشحمة ساندويتش. فتح الكبوت. سألته هي ايه بقى البصمة اللي هترفعها؟ فهمني أن البصمة هي رقم الموتور والشاسيه اللي في الرخصة. عشان يتأكدوا أن العربية هي هي (العلم لا يكل بالبتنجان صحيح). خلص شغله وختم الورقة وقال لي لازم الفحص البيئي (اللي أنا استشفيت بعد كده أن ده غالبا هيكون حاجة دورية عشان البيئة... وماله، بيئة، بيئة. حد يكره البيئة؟ دي حتى مهمة) رحت لراس الكرمبة عشان يخلص موضوع البيئة دة. شخبط شوية على الروق ومضى وختم من غير ما يبص على أي حاجة في العربية (أمال فين البيئة؟) واداني الدوسيه اللي دلوقتي بقى فيه حياة
my Trixie
كلها.

سألته: خلاص كده؟
رد: خلاص
سألته: أروح دلوقتي بالدوسيه ده و النمر عشان استلم الرخصة والنمر الجديدة؟
رد: ca va (اه والله ca va)
رديت: شكرا ومشيت.
عشان أخلَص آخر بق في الموضوع دخلت تاني الحتة اللي فيها المكتب ابو زحمة.
وصلت شباك السيدات وسلمت نمر (يا سلام كان نفسي من زمان أسلم نمر) والدوسيه
سألته: خلاص كده؟
رد: لأ لسة الضريبة. مش عايزة تدفعي الضرايب ولا ايه؟
رديت: لأ ازاي هدفع طبعا.
طبع لي الموظف ورقتين من على "البرنتر" اللي جانبه وقطع منهم حاجات واداني حتتين وقال: امضى
هنا وادفعي ده في الخزنة اللي هناك وتعالي تاني.

اتجهت للخزنة اللي هناك وأنا ببص في ورقة الضرايب اللي اخدتها. عيني راحت على طول للمبلغ النهائي 319.20 حبيت اعرف مفردات المبلغ واللي قريته ضحكني. لأ بجد ضحكت بصوت عالي وأنا رايحة للخزنة. لما تعرفوا ايه هي المفردات هتفهموا ليه

الرسم القيمة
الضربية 30,00 ...هي الضريبة دي مقابل إني باستفيد بأيه؟
رسم تنمية 175,00 ...تنمية ايه بالظبط؟ ولا تنمية مين؟
رسم راديو 1,40 ...مش عايزاه. أنا حتى مبستخدموش (اصلى واحدة فافي بتسمع موسيقى من على الiPod)
رسم استعمال لوحات 0,40 ...واللي مش عايز اللوحات؟
صندوق تحسين خدمات المرور 2,00 ...الصراحة أنا مش شايفة تحسن. احب اعرف امتى نتيجة فلوسي هتبان
قيمة ملصق مرور 2,00 ...ده اللي هو ايه؟
قيمة رخصة ونموذج 8,00 ...يعني أنا بدفع فلوس عشان حاجة انا مش عايزاها
دمغة نوعية 0,10 ...يادي الدمغات. هي مابتخلصش؟
دمغة تنمية موارد 0,30 ...أي موارد؟ وليه ليها دمغة؟ فايدة الدمغة ايه؟ أنا مش معترضة. أنا عايزة افهم بس
مقابل تكاليف تطوير 100,00 ...مين تطوير ده؟ حد يعرفني عليه والنبي.
الاجمالي 319,20 ...فلووووووسيييييييييييييي. والله العظيم مابدقهم. بيطلع عيني فيهم.

صورت ورقة الكوميديا بالموبيايل قبل ما ادفع الفلوس زي الحلوين. اخدت بالي ان نمرتي الجديدة موجودة على الورقة وكانت حروفها ج ف ا. مش عارفة ليه يا أخي بس أول ما شفت الحروف دي حسيت أني اخدت 319,20 فقا صعيدي. ضحكت تاني. بس سكت على طول لحسن حد يقول ايه المجنونة اللي بتضحك دي وهي بتدفع فلوس؟

المهم، دفعت الفلوس ورجعت تاني لبتاع الـ"برنتر" اخد الورقة الممضية واثبات الدفع وإدى الدوسيه لواحد عشان يطبخوا الرخصة في الكمبيوتر. الاستلام منين يا حضرات؟ من برة يا انسه. بجد، بجد لطيفة جدا الرياضة اللي بيساعدوا المواطنين على اداءها دي. لا تقولي جيم ولاشغل ناس فاضية (لا حول ولا قوة إلا بالله -إهمدي!).

وقفت استنى الرخصة والنمر جنب كشك تسليم الرخص اللي بره. لقيت جوه الكشك واحد بصديري بيدندن في سلام. الصديري بتاعه كان مطرز عليه ... خدمة المواطنين.

نادوا على اسمي (ونطقوه صح كمان!) اخدت الرخصة بعد ما اثبت لهم أن انا هو انا (شفتوا بقي البطاقة طلعت مهمة ازاي طول اليوم؟).
سألت: فين النمر من فضلك؟
رد: من الشباك اللي في الاول خالص. أديهم الرخصة تاخدي النمر
رحت الشباك اللي شاور لي عليه. اخد الموظف الرخصة وقالي استلمي النمر من الشباك اللي جنبي
رحت الشباك اللي جنبه. البطاقة من فضلك. اتأكد الموظف أني الشخص المعني. مديت ايدي اخد النمر لقيت واحد مش عارفة طلع من اين اخد النمر والمسامير وقال لي خدي الرخصة بس هركب لك النمر. عمل نفس الحركة مع اللي ورايا.
حسيت
only in Egypt

حفر لي في العربية (عشان المخالفة ام 1000 جنيه الفورية) وركب النمر وهو مقتنع تماما ان الاخرام القدامانية متوازية مش واحدة نازلة تشرب من البحر. حتى دي يا ربي فيها افتكاس؟ معرفتش أعبر عن نفسي الصراحة. كان نفسي بس معرفتش. سكت وخليته يخرم تاني.

وأخيرا (ودة لو لسة في حد عمال يقرا) خلص الفيلم واخدت الرخصة والنمر ولبست احلى سلطانية
(دي حتى كانت ماشية مع الجاكيت بتاعي). السؤال اللي بيطرح نفسه دلوقتي بقى هو انا حكيت القصة الطويلة العريضة دي ليه؟ انا عايزة اقول ان الموضوع مش كله اسود. أنا اه قعدت الف حوالين نفسي عشان اخلص الاجراءات اللي ما كانتش واضحة اوي، وانا مش فاهمة انا ليه دفعت الحاجات اللي دفعتها، لكن كان فيه ناس كويسة لله في لله، وما لبستش مخالفات أنا معملتهاش (يادي السان الطويل). وعلى فكرة النظام دلوقتي احسن من قبل كدة... بكتير.

بس أنا طماعة... نفسي اننا نشوف فعلا التطوير والتحسين اللي كان مكتوب في الورقة. نفسي نحس بالفلوس اللي بندفعها.

During the Gaza Disaster: A Question I Need an Answer To

2009-01-05T23:31:00.033+02:00

If the Hamas powers-that-be don't like Egypt so much, and have been screaming foul play since the beginning, why are they coming over for their Gaza Resolution meeting? Why of all the places in the world have they picked Egypt to meet their arch rival Fat-h (yes, the crazy irony of the Hamas- Fat-h situation isn't lost on me either)?

I really need someone to explain this... logically... to me.

As a footnote I have a couple more questions bugging me

If to this day Fat-h, Hamas, and the ever-forgotten Palestinian Authority (yeah, the one that supposedly rules/leads/whatever... their big tomato there (not cheese, tomato -squishy and messy), can't unite and get over their grudges and personal agendas, how do they plan on winning their war against Israel?
Where's Iran gone to, now that the fight has been taken to the ground and they have to either put up or shut up? What happened to all the slurs and supposed weapons that allegedly started this whole fiasco?

And as a bonus combined question (last one, I promise)... Where are all the other wagging tongues and mud slingers? Which holes did they crawl into now that it doesn't pay to talk, since the situation reeeeeeally needs actions? Who is left in the picture now? Who's picking up the proverbial pieces?... say it with me.... EGYPT!

I sooooooooo rest my case, people.

As I was saying before... "Yes I'm Egyptian, proud of it, and I will GLADLY gouge out the eyes of anyone who so much as thinks of looking funny at Egypt...أيوة فخورة اني مصرية واللي عنده مشكلة يوريني نفسه كده

The New Face of Politics: Digital Marketing

2009-01-05T21:43:00.018+02:00

I'm going to keep this short because it's been a long day...

Came across this article in one of my daily marketing e-newsletters (yeah, yeah, I'm a geek, I read trade news). The title was Israeli Gov't Holds First Twitter Press Conference.

Hold the freakin' presses! A full-fledged press conference in 140-character conversations? And not just any press conference, a global-issue press conference. You have to hand it to them, if nothing else these people are smart. I mean they're using very basic marketing principles, with profound impact:

1. Know your audience

2. Talk their language

3. Go to where they are

4. Be consistent

The entire world seems to live online now, so it makes perfect sense to not only hold their press conference on Twitter, but to create their own YouTube channel, MySpace page, and maintain a number of high-traffic blogs (most notably IsRaelli and IsraelPolitik). They've also orchestrated with their overseas consulates various forms of online presence such as the New York Consulate's facebook group, and this is only the stuff that I managed to hunt down in about 15 minutes! No kidding. A quick look at all of these tools you'll notice one thing: consistency, which is something any half decent marketer knows is a make or break element.

They're probably taking a page from Obama's campaign book, when he created his own campaign website, social networking and blogging platforms and YouTube channel to name a few tools. Or maybe he took a page from them... who knows. Come on, you have to admit it, these people are smart.

As a marketer I say kudos. As an Egyptian I'm crazy jealous.

My Take on Robert Fisk's Piece on How Egypt is Too Rotten and Powerless to Act in the Gaza Crisis

2009-01-04T22:32:00.013+02:00

This is his piece for the Independent which I believe is the latest example of how formulaic and commercialized one can get... even a highly respected source. It shows you that one can't blindly follow and/or agree with someone or something all the time. We should always question things, and definitely think for ourselves.

Now, While I have nothing but respect for Robert Fisk, I can't help but feel that what he's saying here, while true, is out of context... or at the very least needs the added layer of what happens to Egypt and Egyptians outside of "Egypt's economic foundations [crumbling]" as a result of crossing its so-called allies. Why isn't he talking about the fact that Egypt will stand alone in fighting the Israelis, Americans, Brits, and the other covert cohorts, if it does

indeed open the Rahaf gate? And fight them on her own land, the much-coveted Sinai? Why isn't he talking about how opening the gate will give Israel a much stronger footing in Gaza when Palestinians start leaving in droves?

It also feels more like a formulaic piece than a true evaluation of the Gaza crisis and its implications on Egypt, since everybody seems hell bent on making Egypt a star in this catastrophe, albeit a notorious one. I mean, he does a good job of stating the key negatives of the government which we all know by heart now, but why is he talking about prison rapes and negligent doctors? Where is the context of how this fits in with what's going on right now? Is this what he needs to be talking about now?

After finding out what I think of this piece, a friend asked me in great surprise if I don't believe that Egypt is corrupt and corrupt to the core. The kind of corruption that would push many youth to embrace possible death at sea just to get out of here. So I explained to her that I'm not saying it's untrue, I'm saying the opposite. It's true... very true. But it's also very out of context here.

Fisk's tally of Egypt's degrees of corruption isn't what he should be talking about here if he really wants to talk about what he clearly believes to be Egypt's lack-luster role in all of this. I think he's just using his trusted technique, pulling out his old notes filed under 'examples of corruption in Egypt' as a space filler for something he clearly doesn't want to look at objectively.

If he had really wanted to use a constructive example he could've used something like the undeterred gas deal with Israel. Now that's much closer to home in this case, not the classic sensational stuff he used. But then again, it's not as scandalous as "...a religious facade in which the meaning of Islam has become effaced by its physical representation." which is a sentence I'm not sure fits how exactly with the supposed abominable performance given by Egypt so far. Maybe when you read his article you can explain it to me.

Surely Fisk can do a better job at being unbiased, objective and analytical.

The Slander War on Egypt: Get Real!

2009-01-01T09:44:00.012+02:00

OK, enough already with the badmouthing.

This is not getting us anywhere. You idiots should not be focusing on what an a*&h*^e you think Egypt is being, and instead find a UNIFIED way to end Gaza’s anguish. Unified here being the keyword. You’ve certainly shown that you can unite around something once you put your puny little brains to it. So for ONCE, for THE LOVE OF GOD unite for something USEFUL! ... See, it’s really easy to be rude, with the difference that here I’m actually saying truths, and not spinning lies like you’re doing about my country.

That said, I have to ask: how did it happen? How did you manage to blur the lines between the could and the should parts of this equation? How did, in your eyes, Egypt go from the precious sister-country that helps out whichever way it CAN, to the expendable half-sister that SHOULD just give everything, so the others can get out of their continuous problems, at the risk of its own life and land? How is this logical? Why is Egypt the number one entity responsible for this pile of “ahem” smelly roses? Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for freeing Gaza. I really am, I’m not just saying that. But I’m certainly not for being taken for a ride, in the form of getting duped to take full responsibility for fighting against the Israelis, the Americans, the British, and all of their other covert buddies, just so that Hamas leaders, and all the other sheep nincompoops would stop wagging their useless tongues from the safety of far, far away. This is exactly what’s going to happen if the now notorious ‘ma3bar’ is left open for everyone so they can escape their siege and “vent” a little (as someone put it to me when explaining Egypt’s alleged shortcomings).

Listen, I’m not heartless, I’d want relief if I’m in a similar situation, but stop to think for a second, what’s the first rule they teach any professional rescuer (lifeguard, firefighter, etc)? Never at the risk of your own life, NEVER. Always put the victim between you and danger. Your life first. It’s not ruthless; it’s survival to fight another day. And just as a small, but rather significant footnote, Hamas should have thought long and hard before shooting away their what I like to call “firecracker missiles”. This is not blame, this is cold, hard facts. If you want to fight, by all means, please fight, but do it right. Don’t start something that you won’t be able to finish, or at the very least hold your own in for a decent part of it. That’s just basic logic. A responsible person thinks of this stuff, the consequences, the resources, the people they're in charge of, you know, little issues like that.

If it’s religion you want to use as to why Egypt SHOULD help –then God tells us to think first before acting, and to not throw ourselves in the abyss. If it’s a politics game –then you have to outsmart your opponent and not lose your temper, leverage, and resources with NO backup. If there’s another angle to this that I’m not seeing, please enlighten me! Tell me again, why is Egypt expected to bear the consequences of a fool’s actions? And bear it alone. How is it logical? Put things in their right contexts, will you?!

Now, I don’t know what’s really on the minds of my country’s government, or what their intentions and hidden agendas (if any) are. I can only deal with the appearances, and the appearances here indicate that they seem to be concerned with the well-being of the country and its people first, and then anything else. Which makes sense, and what any decent leader worth their salt should do (watch this space for the first action Obama takes that doesn’t bode well for the Arab World, but is awesome for the United States, then you’ll see what I mean).

I offer the same evaluation to the opposing side on this matter. Which is more than I can say for all of our naysayers, as they compare us to people who do nothing more than yap off about how unjust things in the Middle East are, and that a resolution has to be reached. They get applauded for being so brave and “outspoken”, while we get blamed for not offering anything short of part of our land, and the human sacrifices that will result from the inevitable conflict. Just like Egypt’s government appears to be concerned with Egypt’s well-being first and foremost, Hamas, and the other ringleaders (Ahmadinijad anyone?) seem to be concerned with tearing Egypt down, and not actually ending Gaza’s suffering. Interesting how Khaled Meshaal chose to give an exclusive interview to Al Jazeera as his first action after the bombings started instead of, oh I don’t know, FIGHT!.

OK people, since you’re so disappointed in us, maybe the "outspoken" so-called loud voices can win the war for you, Qatar can use their American base, Iran their ostensible nuclear warheads, and KSA their pools of oil, with the others cheering on from the sidelines with their good will and wagging tongues. Try that on for size and see if it fits you. But whatever you do, DON’T COME CRYING TO US.

I know this is going to upset truckloads of people from me, but I can’t hold my tongue when my country is being unfairly persecuted. God knows I’m not always happy with its goings on, but that doesn’t mean that it can’t still once in a blue moon be in the right. It just so happens that this is a very, very sticky situation, and no matter what you do, someone or something is going to get gravely damaged.

وسط اللغط يتوه لب الموضوع وتضيع الحقيقة: مصر، غزة، والمعبر

2008-12-31T09:11:00.012+02:00

وسط اللغط يتوه الموضوع وتضيع الحقيقة: مصر، غزة، والمعبر

انا لست من المحنكين سياسيا ، بل انا قارئ ومشاهد عادي من عامة الشعب ولكني وقبل كل شيء مصرية فخورة بجنسيتي وبلادي بالرغم من عدم رضائي عن اوضاع بلادي في بعض الاحيان وعدم اتفاقي مع سياسات حكومتي بعض الاحيان الاخرى

في ظل الاوضاع المؤسفة في غزة وقفت في اندهاش وضيق شديدين إزاء ما تتلقاه بلادي من هجمات وتنديدات، حيث تحاول حركة حماس وصم وطني بالخائن المتواطئ -على أسوء تقدير، أو المتخاذل عديم النخوة -على أقل تقدير. أي هذيان هذا؟! مصر؟

لن اسرد ما فعلته بلادي حتى يومنا هذا لكل دولة من هذه الدول ناكرة الجميل،لأن الأمر يتطلب الكثير من الوقت. كما أني لن اسرد ما قدمته نفس هذه البلاد (والتي البعض منها ملقب بهذا الاسم مجازا) حيث لا يوجد ما يسرد في الأصل ولن تكون المقارنة في صالحهم.

ما أريد التحدث عنه بشكل قاطع ومختصر هو الاتهامات الموجهة والمستترة (عملا بمبدأ وما خفي كان أعظم على ما اعتقد)

الاتهام الأول
مصر تعزز حدودها بقواتها المسلحة وترفض فتح معبر رفح
الرد
أولا
المعبر مفتوح لاستقبال الجرحى والمصابين (انظر هنا)
ثانيا
بعث الهلال الاحمر المصري بمعونات لقطاع غزة من خلال نفس المعبر (انظر هنا)

الاتهام الثاني
مصر هي الدور الحاسم في الحرب على غزة (انظر هنا)
الرد
أولا
هل بالفعل الحل لكل هذا هو عبور الفلسطينيين من رفح الى سيناء؟ هل سيتوقف القصف نهائيا؟ أم سينتقل الى سيناء؟ من (وماذا) المقصود هنا؟
ثانيا
أين باقي العالم العربي؟ هل مصر مطالبة بالرد بمفردها؟ لماذا؟

الاتهام الثالث
مصر كانت على علم بقرار اسرائيل إثر المحادثات ولم تحذر غزة
الرد
عند مواجهة المتحدث الرسمي باسم حركة حماس أ/فوزي برهوم بهذا الموضوع تضارب كلام السيد الفاضل مع تلميحات السيد/ خالد مشعل رئيس المكتب السياسي لحركة حماس في حواره لقناة الجزيرة القطرية، حيث افاد ما بين سطور كلمات الثاني بأن مصر كانت على علم بنية اسرائيل إثر زيارة ليفني للبلاد ولم يتحرك للحكومة المصرية ساكنا لتحذر حماس(انظر هنا الدقيقة 7.25)، ثم قال الاول أن الحكومة المصرية كانت قد حذرت حركة حماس في مكالمة هاتفية في اعقاب نفس الاجتماع مع ليفني (انظر هنا الدقيقة 2.40)

الاتهام الرابع (الغير معلن صراحة والمفهوم ضمنيا كمجمل للاتهامات المعلنة)
مصر خائنة لفلسطين والعالم العربي ومتواطئة مع اسرائيل
الرد
لا يسعني سوى التعجب والتساؤل أحقا هذا الهراء!!! ولكن كإجابة مباشرة... عند مواجهة السيد فوزي برهوم أبى أن يعطي ردا قاطعا سواء بالنفي أو بالايجاب، كما لم يستطع الايضاح بشكل قاطع دور مصر المتآمر (أنظر هنا)

كل ما سبق ليس دفاعا، فمصر ليست بحاجة للدفاع عن نفسها، بل هو ايضاح فقط حيث هناك لبس في بعض "الادمغة" العربية

ما يتم اغفاله (اعتقد عمدا) وسط كل هذا هو... لماذا قصفت حماس اسرائيل بالصواريخ الفارغة (حيث لم تصب شيئا وكأنها بومب العيد احتفالا بكل المناسبات الحالية) في حين كانت مصر تتابع جهودها في المحادثات مع اسرائيل للتوصل الى حل؟ لماذا القصف؟ ولماذا في هذا التوقيت؟ من المسؤول؟ ومن يجب عليه تحمل النتائج؟

حسب ما أرى كل هذا ما هو إلا محاولات دنيئة لزعزعة مكانة ودور مصر (بغض النظر عن محاسن ومساوئ أسلوب البلد الداخلي)...الله أعلم لماذا فالاسباب متعددة وكل يغني على ليلاه. للأسف هناك من يصدق هذه الافتراءات والاكاذيب. للأسف.

إذا... هل من المنطقي أن تغفل المصيبة الحقيقية الواقعة في غزة حاليا والتركيز على ما اذا فتحت مصر المعبر أم لا ومتابعة المشاداه الكلامية المنقولة عبر الاعلام العالمي بين فوزي برهوم وأحمد أبو الغيط؟؟

يا ناس عيب عليكوا انتوا نسيتوا نفسكوا ولا ايه؟ نسيتوا انتوا مين ومصر بجلالة قدرها مين وعملت إيه وبتعمل ايه؟ ان كنتوا نسيتوا اللي جرى هاتوا الدفاتر تتقرى

صحيح ... الواطي يفضل طول عمره واطي

وعلى رأي المثل... قوم يابا شرفني... يا ابني أما يموت اللي يعرفني!!

(انتظروا النسخة الانجليزية قريبا)

On the Road to Self-Discovery: The Holiday, My Year, and I

2008-12-19T03:00:00.014+02:00

The oddest thing happened tonight while I caught half of the movie “The Holiday” after mindlessly flipping through channels. I started assessing this past year of my life. You’ll never guess why. I’m not one for this whole New Year resolutions and whatever, it’s just not for me… no offense everyone.

What made me take stock though was when I realized that the last time I had watched that movie was in the same room, around the same time, in the same weather but at the beginning of the year. Yeah, I notice that weird stuff; always had and always will.

It started when I noticed that the living room furniture, and layout were different from the beginning of the year –not to mention the nifty 50inch plasma (or is it LCD?) screen. From then on I couldn’t stop my mind from going on this weird comparison. So here goes…

Some of the things that have remained the same about me at the end of 2008

Single
Working for same company (but my job responsibilities are slightly different... Long, complicated story)
Obsessed with shoes and bags
Bookworm
Knowledge geek
Same core values and beliefs

Some of the things that have changed about me at the end of 2008

One year older (not sure if I’m wiser though, maybe more balanced)
Made lots of new friends
Cut out a couple of, once, close people (it was very painful, but I know that I did the right thing)
I’m writing again (as you can clearly see)
I like myself
Lost a considerable amount of weight (still not exactly where I want to be on that front, but I’m getting there)
I’m sharing parts of my inner self with the world at large… something I had never done before, and have always thought was really scary.
Proud of myself

Naturally my mind wandered to a couple of really major family events that have deeply affected everyone in the entire family on both sides (maternal and paternal)

My eldest (paternal) uncle, Ali, passed away last Ramadan
My nephew, Ali, was born October 11th 2008, 2.30pm

Then I went on to some of the things I had planned on doing but never actually did

Didn’t go to Italy
Didn’t go to Abu Simbel for sun solstice festival
No money savings
No new car

Finally, there are some of the things that I’m looking forward to for 2009 (and they’re not resolutions!)

Studying for my MBA degree
Publishing a book (or two… So I’m greedy, sue me!)
Traveling more (in and out of the country)
Rocking the marketing world with my new ideas (yet to be revealed…watch this space)

All of this made me realize, more than ever, that life keeps on rolling, parading along the good, the bad, and the in-between. Things move in your direction, stop at your pit stop to affect you and be affected by you in some way, and then eventually move on. Most of the time you don’t even notice when life is happening to you and around you (try to catch it; you’ll be amazed).

It also made me notice that I like the things that are still the same about me, and the things that have changed. Without this train of thoughts I wouldn’t have realized that the plans I never went through with are materialistic (as opposed to the more moral/existential ones I’ve experienced for the past 300 odd days). They’re materialistic, subjective and not time-limited, so if I couldn’t get around to them during 2008, there’s no reason for me not to catch up on them during 2009. I’m already planning for the Abu Simbel trip (along with a Luxor-Aswan cruise if I can rustle up the cash). And watch out for me as I put in motion my plans to conquer the world (my world that is)…

I guess what I’m trying to say here is (I’m thinking of this literally as I type the words so bear with me) it’s all good depending how you look at it. Meaning, if the situation is good that’s good, if the situation is bad at least it’s over. If it’s not, it soon will be, and when it’s over you’ll be all the stronger for it, and more appreciative of life in general (to say the least).

Hope this helps you find your own ideas on how you can enjoy your life like I try to (in my own quirky way).

On the Road to Self-Discovery: Reconciliation

2008-12-12T01:10:00.011+02:00

I’ve noticed something... Might be just me, but, after working on it for so long, and so hard, you wake up one morning and without realizing, you find that you’re at peace with yourself. You have finally found some kind of balance between you and your inner being. Granted nothing says it’s going to last forever, but it’s actually there. You’ve really and truly reached that pinnacle in your life. Doesn’t mean that everything is going perfect in your life at that particular moment –for all you know things could be at their worst, but somehow… it’s OK, it’s not that big a deal.

Suddenly you see things for what they really are, and most importantly you see yourself for who you are. Nothing is over estimated or under estimated. It’s like someone finally turned on the light, and what you see isn’t all that bad, it’s not picture perfect, but you find yourself saying I can work with it.

Needless to say after all this eloquent diction (I wish!), I am there. True, there was no fanfare waiting for me in the street this morning helping me celebrate life, and people weren’t hailing me with flowers, you’d even laugh at how I came to realize that I am where I am right now… I was driving to my sister’s, at the end of a longwinded day at the office waiting for something that never happened. Not that monumental, could’ve even slipped without me noticing… but I did notice, and therein lies the beauty. It didn’t have to fall on me like a ton of bricks, and no one had to be there taking my photo at the finish line-it was a second in an almost forgettable day (except for my baby nephew and his rhythmic screaming), yet it was enough.

So back to me and my inner being and their peace treaty. Think of it like a pesky, life-long neighbor who through the years has known just how to rain on your parade. There’s no love lost between you, but you’ve decided to act like grownups and let bygones be bygones. You’re not bosom buddies yet, but you respect each other enough (and you know what you can do to one another if things get ugly again) that you approach with caution. Suddenly there are the daily good mornings, hellos, and how’s the job-type small talk. You decide the water’s not cold and you inch in a littler closer. You help each other with the trash, take each other’s mail, and things don’t seem to be taking a turn for the worse, in fact quite the contrary, you actually like each other now, you find have a lot in common. Then you decide to take a deeper plunge –you brunch… and on a regular basis! You’ve consciously decided to take regular time and effort to meet each other, just to enjoy each other’s company –and maybe share a thought or two… or three. This is exactly the point I’ve reached right now. Who knows maybe the neighbors could find it in their hearts to have a romance once day and then I’ll be truly Zen.

Stranger things have happened.

On the Road to Self-Discovery: Fear of Commitment

2008-12-09T22:48:00.013+02:00

Something that could either be monumental or inane just hit me.

I’m half watching this show called Quarterlife that I turn on for noise as my mind flows all over the place. I think this series is about the lives of a bunch of twenty-somethings living together. I’m not sure whether it was triggered by the show, or it just so happens that my subconscious has finally managed to work its way to my consciousness, with an answer to a question that’s been bugging me for quite sometime now, but I finally realize one more piece, and quite possibly a very determining one, to why I’m reluctant to commit to someone, and get married.

My close friends would know that I’ve been explaining why I’m still single and unattached, because I’ve come to realize that I cower from the idea of committing to something or someone for what for me would be forever. I worry about whether I’d be able to live up to my responsibility, day in day out, and not just freak out and crumble under the weight of my ongoing obligation. I know family is a joy, and I absolutely love kids and would want one myself, but I honestly worry if I would be able to handle being a wife and mother with all their trimmings, forever and ever and ever and ever… I’m the type of person who needs her “me” time, and I cherish my private space. Any wife and/or mother, knows that goes right out of the window the second you commit to your “joyful” obligations and responsibilities (or maybe I’m just being a baby).

Still these feelings never stopped me from wanting to get married. Paradoxical, I know. Doesn’t make much sense… tell me about it! I could never figure it out myself -until maybe, just maybe, now. Here goes…

I don’t know when it first started, but, I always keep myself on my best behavior that I don’t let loose except when I’m on my own. I feel obliged to be considerate to others around me so they don’t feel that sharing living space with me is a burden. It’s nice to be mindful of others but I think I might be taking it a bit too far. I suddenly realize this when I look up from my laptop screen and see who I believe are the stars of that show hanging out with one another on their sofa. They were so chilled that they were all sprawled out on that one sofa, every which way, sharing a bit of each other’s personal space. No one seemed to mind it. I couldn’t help but think that I most probably wouldn’t know how to do that with anyone other than my parents and siblings –and it took me years to let them in, they would probably tell you.

Writing this down made me pause to realize that I do the same thing in lots of aspects of my life. Granted I have loosened up a lot and have let people come closer, but still, I think not close enough, as evident by my backing away from random small acts of intimacy shared by friends, such as taking a goofy group photo. Anyone who knows me well enough knows how close to pulling teeth asking me to take a photo is.

I guess I’m already moving a bit closer towards becoming more like regular humans, and letting the remaining unnecessary guards down, by realizing what I’ve been unconsciously doing, and by daringly putting it out there it for anyone to read.

And maybe there’s a way for finding some middle ground between my need for privacy and my wanting to share my life with someone special… Separate bedrooms sounds like a good idea (might even make “things” even more interesting –but that’s another topic for another time). Day nannies might also come in handy for brunch time with the girls, or indulgent shopping.

Here’s hoping.

Why? [Mushy Musings of a Fool For Life]

2008-11-26T02:20:00.009+02:00

How can someone you're supposedly over, affect you this deeply when you meet? That's what she asks her self, the evening after running into him -at a gallery opening of all places!! A gallery opening. Him. The man with the least artistic appreciation in any single human being she had ever met in her entire life. Why did she ever love him?

Yes I loved him, she admits to her self. She is sure now that she had loved him at one point, and had he asked her, she probably would’ve spent the rest of her life with him. She had loved him, but she had never been in love with him. Big difference. She knew that even back then. She had loved the fact that he was good looking -classic eye candy. She had loved how manly he was (in both the moral and physical sense). She had loved that lots of women found him sexy. She had loved that she could have a conversation with him, even though they rarely agreed, unless she curbed her ideals a little. She had loved that everybody loved him, especially her mother. She had loved his potential for great kindness. But most of all, she had loved how experienced and street-wise he was -the quintessential male characteristic needed to balance her female ones out.

She had loved him rationally, but never emotionally. So why couldn’t she stop thinking about him 24 hours after their brief encounter? Brief, and awkward. She spotted him before he did her, but there wasn’t anywhere for her to go to avoid him. The place was crowded and she couldn’t turn around, he would’ve seen that. She didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. Maybe if she looked the other way he wouldn't see her. Maybe he’d pretend he didn’t see her either, and it would be over. No such luck.

“Hey” started the very familiar greeting, in the very familiar, and good sounding drawl. She pretended not to notice, even though she could see him out of the corner of her eye, as he bent sideways to get in her line of vision. She was trying to buy herself some time, although she had no idea what for.
“Oh hi” she answered half startled, acting like she'd only just noticed him. She tried to keep her voice friendly and nonchalant... if there is such a thing.
“How are you?” He asked her with a smile, making her realize that she missed listening to his deep, calm voice. A voice that always made you feel it was telling you an important secret. Something for your ears only... You can’t help but pay attention.
“I’m well” she replied with a little smile -friendly, yet not too friendly... at least she hoped that’s how it appeared. “What are you doing here?” the second she said that she regretted it.
“What are you doing here?” he asked her back. That bothered her a little.
“I’m an artist, I have to be here”
“Well I’m a financier and I have to be here” That didn’t make any sense to her, but she didn’t feel like pursuing it. She let his nonsensical comment slide.
“Umm... at Finch, right?
“Right”
“Still working there?”
“Yes. And you... green designs? Still working there?”
“Yes” Where else would I be? she thought to herself.
“How are you? What have you been up to?”
“I’m well” she repeated, noticing that he still had that very irritating habit of repeating a question over and over when he had nothing to say. Or maybe it was very irritating only because she didn’t want to be there. Suddenly she realized that she had been consistently shuffling around, edging her way away from him. By that point, she was 180 degrees from where she had first started at the beginning of their conversation.
“How’s your family?” he asked, still smiling. Pausing the conversation, since it was now going on in her mind, she notices that all through it, she hadn’t met his eyes for more than about a second at a time. That was very uncharacteristic of her. Why had she done that?
“Family’s doing well. Mom was here for a visit”
"Really?!” he sounded genuinely happy. He had had a good relationship with her mother. Her mother had liked him... that is until she had cornered her daughter into a confession of what had happened. Then all the love she had had for him had turned to very angry hate.
“How could he do this to you? Why did you not give him a piece of your mind? You should’ve skinned him alive. Him and her. Some friend she turned out to be! You are just too decent. Too nice. People take advantage of you!!” She still remembered her mother’s words. That’s why she didn’t tell him to call her up and say hi. That, and she really didn’t feel like having a conversation with him. She didn’t feel like connecting... reconnecting if you want to be precise.
“Yeah. Left last week” she smiled perfunctorily. “My brother got married”
“Oh my God! When?”
“11 months ago” she replied with a broad smile she couldn’t help. Her brother meant the world to her.
“Wow! Congratulations!”
“Thank you” Good! that ought to show him what he’s been missing out on ever since that last time. He had been friends with her brother, but they had inevitably lost touch after what had happened.
“How are you? How have you been doing?” he repeated, looking good in his light colored suit. Yes, his ability for repetition was, and still is, very irritating, she thought.
“I’m doing well” she replied patiently, noticing that his salt and pepper hair, getting more salt than pepper, was still his most striking feature.
“Well... I don’t want to keep you from your friends...” his voice died. Looking for reassurance? She didn’t know. Didn’t care.
Her kind instinct was considering telling him: not really, but she held her tongue at the last second. Instead, she raised her hand up in a silent good bye and turned on her heel, heading for the opposite direction. Just like that he was out of her line of vision, and it was over. Just like that it was like it had never happened. What was it anyway? An interruption? A bump in her road? An irritation? A reminder? She couldn’t really tell. But whatever it was it had made her unable to think.

Still in a haze, she made it to the end of the spacious foyer, filled with chattering people, and didn’t know what to do next. She turned around and made her way back to where she had come from. It meant she could run into him again, but there was no where else to go. She stuck to the opposite side of where they had been standing seconds ago. Hiding between the tall crowd, she could just see him, talking into his cell phone... smiling. No, smirking. The kind of smirk he had when he was being roguish... or flirtatious. Was he on the phone with what's her face? No way for her to know for sure.

Still recounting their very brief conversation, if you could really call it that, for what seemed like the hundredth time, she couldn’t stop thinking about how he had pretended like nothing had happened. That they had ended on a good note. Because they hadn’t. Not with that woman around. Her. The friend. So-called friend. The last person she would've thought could come between them. For God’s sake, she had introduced them!! How classic. The memories all just wreaked too much of old movies, screwed love triangles and twisted love-hate stories.

She recalls that it wasn’t like her relationship with him had always been a bed of roses. They had disagreed before, been at each other’s throats even. Actually, being the passionate one, she was always the one with the wig outs. He was always the calm one, the one who’d bring back the conversation to a sane level. But not that time. Definitely not. In fact, he was the one who had started the argument. The accusation. Out of no where. Completely blind siding her.

She had thought he was calling her for an emergency. His voice had sounded serious and urgent. He knew how she didn’t like to get calls at work, because of her very private nature -even if she was on her cell phone. She didn’t like people listening in on her conversations, especially not her conversations with him. She was a very different person around him than the person she was at work.

The memories come flooding in: her cell phone glued to her ear, she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. How could he have believed that what he was saying to her was logical at all? How could he have believed the other woman? How could he have believed the other woman over her?! All this time gone by and she still can’t believe it. She had thought he knew her better than anyone else. She had thought he knew that she doesn’t lie -least of all to him. She doesn’t have to. Not when she wasn’t afraid to speak her mind -as he knew only too well. How could the other woman have had such a strong effect on him? Such a powerful influence? In such a short period? How could he forget the original for the copy? How could he trust the new instead of the tried and true? How could he betray her? That angered and disappointed her greatly. But... what hurt her, and hurt her deeply if she was honest, was that he had not believed her when she had told him it wasn’t true. How could he? HOW COULD HE?! That’s why she had walked away. What else could she have done after that last time? That call. That distasteful call. She still remembered it. Not in great detail. She never did have a good memory. But she remembered how it had made her feel. How angry. Infuriated. How could he? How dare he?! How did he find it in his heart to talk to her like that and accuse her in that manner? She thought he knew her better. But apparently not. At least not when his little head was doing his thinking. His thinking of another woman that is. It till irked her how he had blamed her. How he couldn’t wait until she had left the office for the day. How he couldn’t wait until he could talk to her face to face. How he had automatically accused her for the sake of the other woman. How he could easily do all of that after all they’d been through.

Amazingly, it still hurts. After so long, it still hurts.

What she still can’t figure out was how it all had happened. And right under her nose. Her mother was right. She really was very naive. Even though she had done her best to toughen up. Thicken her skin. Wise up. Still... with the right words, people could easily dupe her. She trusted too easily. She still believed people. Believed in them. Which made the inevitable burn hurt even more.

She doesn’t know how it hit her, but right in the middle of her dark train of thoughts she realizes that she doesn’t have any feelings for him now. None whatsoever. She is completely neutral towards him. If anything, she feels sorry for him. Sorry because the second she had walked out of his life he had lost something great... and replaced it with something broken. Any restlessness she has is because of her want of a storybook closure. A clear one. The kind where the wronged get their own back with the entire world watching.

She wants him to tell her that he was wrong. That he had wronged her. That he misses her. That he wants her back in his life.

Realistically it’s not very likely to happen, especially not after yesterday’s cold shoulder. She knows that instinctively. She knows that she will have to chalk this to yet another botched up try.

When will it end? How does this keep happening to her? ... Why did she run into him? Why?

Is Sexual Harassment OK Now? [Daily Musings of a Fool for Life]

2008-11-23T23:59:00.017+02:00

It really does take all kinds to make a world, doesn’t it. Case in point is this silly... person (I’m having a really hard time acknowledging she’s the same species as I am, let alone same gender). This character is just seeking fame through sensationalism, trying to convince us that two wrongs make a right.

The fact that I’m actually acknowledging this is giving her exactly what she wants, but I’m sorry, I just have to refute.

If what she’s proposing makes any sense whatsoever, then anyone would have the right to exact any revenge they see fit on anyone they want, just because they can find a degree of connection between them and the person/issue they have a problem with. Huh? What kind of world would that be? What are we? (no don’t answer that, I don’t want to know).

If you watch her interview http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLio1L67k4E

or read the translated transcript http://www.memritv.org/clip_transcript/en/1903.htm

you will see that this creature makes not sense at all. She probably just talks because she likes the sound of her own voice. I mean, what kind of logic is: since Arab men already sexually harass their country women they might as well harass israeli women?!!! Seriously? That’s the best she could come up with? That’s the only thing she has to say to molesters? And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Listen to her drivel and you’ll know what I mean.

It’s people like her who take us back to before the dark ages.

We should give her a dose of her own medicine...

So maybe the next time anyone sees this being in the street and they have a bone to pick with any lawyer (or just believe they do), they might feel it's their right to get their revenge from her. After all she won't have the right to retaliate, she should bear the mistakes of her people.

On the Road to Self-Discovery: The Little Things in Life

2008-11-23T17:49:00.005+02:00

Ever noticed how some things make a radical change in you? And they’re usually really small things; things that might have otherwise gone unnoticed had you not been fortunate enough to be in the right frame of mind to really notice and receive them.

To me, these things are the flavor of life. These are the things that make you truly enjoy life; they are what help put a cheeky grin on your face that no irritation can wipe away. They usually take only seconds. But they pack one hell of a punch… that is if you’re paying attention. I mean, you can be going through a really dark moment in your life, yet there is a skip in your step and a smile in your heart. Or you could be at your angriest, planning out someone’s murder, then something tiny happens, and just like you get into a state of Zen. But I'm rambling, I need to explain myself.

I was going through a pretty bad day. Actually I was going through the premonition of a really bad day. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop…until it did. Under normal circumstances I would’ve flipped, freaked, panicked, crumbled…you get the picture. But au contraire. Instead, as I was going through the situation a little voice inside of me was talking rationally to me, helping me center myself and identify how I wanted to conduct myself. Which is what I did!! And to the letter, incredibly enough! You have no idea how surprising this is to me. It’s like I couldn’t do anything wrong (think Neo at the end of The Matrix, when he finally “sees” to the core of the matrix, and it’s all peanuts to him from then on). Anyone who knows me knows how emotional and passionate I am. A friend once asked me “How do you do it? Everything is a major production with you, filled with emotions. Don’t you get tired?” The reason he is still alive is because he’s cute.

So anyway…I’m an emotional rollercoaster of a human being; so for me to be able to control my emotions during an intense situation is a novelty to me. Up until this point I had always been afraid of controlling my emotions for fear of losing a piece of what makes me me…don’t ask, crazy logic (overrun with emotions of course).

Moving on from the actual encounter to the aftermath; I remained calm, collected and analytical, which again was completely new to me.

I still don’t know for sure how or why I remained calm. I can only guess that years and years of self-analysis, people-observation, and faith in my emotional growth, have finally paid off.

Apparently miracles never seize to happen. You just have to know where to look for them.

Fortune's Fools [Mushy Musings of a Fool For Life]

2008-11-23T04:23:00.002+02:00

“Hey, Sparks” his gravelly voice greeted her to comfortable familiarity.
“Hi, Bean” she replied through her cell phone.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, alarmed by the quiet of her voice.
“Nothing” she replied.
“Were you crying?” he asked.
“No” she lied.
“What did he do?” he asked, ignoring her lie, clearly aggravated.
“Nothing”
“Tell me” he urged gently, doing his best to check his tone.
“Where is she?” she asked, evading his question.
“Just in the other room, getting ready for bed.” Explains why you’re whispering, she thought.

“How was your day?” she asked.
“The usual; aren’t you going to tell me what’s wrong?” he coaxed her again.
“Nothing’s wrong” she lied again.
“Then why are you calling me so late?”
Silence.
“Sparks, why?” he asked again.
“I wanted to hear your voice” she admitted softly.
Silence.
“I should hang up” she declared, guilt filling her voice “good night.”
“No!” he replied with urgency
“Don’t. I miss you” he continued, sighing deeply.
“Really?” she asked, hope creeping into her voice.
“You know the answer to that”
“Then why haven’t you called?”
“You know the answer to that”
Silence.

“How’s your coffee?” he asked her, before he lit up a cigarette.
“How did you know?”
“I know you” he answered, matter-of-factly. She smiled. “Now you’re smiling, holding your mug with both hands looking out of the window.” He knew that she preferred using a head set because holding a phone in her hand irritated her.
“Show off” she mumbled. He chuckled lightly.
“Well, you’re in your boxers, walking, barefoot, around your living room, phone in your left hand, ciggie in your right”
“True”
They grew silent again as she pictured him languidly exhaling puffs of smoke to one side, like he always did.
“Still don’t want to tell me what’s wrong?” he asked once more, his throaty voice dropping another octave, getting smokier, invoking that all too familiar jelly-knees feeling in her limbs.

“I don’t want to talk about it” she finally answered, softly, and he couldn’t refuse her.
“What do you want to do then?”
“Listen to you talk”
“What do you want me to say?” he asked, suddenly very self-conscious, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Anything; I don’t care. Read the phone book.” He laughed. She joined him. He had to sit down; her laugh did that to him. Their laughter died away soon. They didn’t want to be heard.

“Sparks?” he started.
“Yes?”
“Nothing”
“Tell me”
“Nothing”
“Tell me…please”
“It’s nothing. I just like to hear you say yes and please.” She laughed, embarrassed.
“Don’t laugh”
“Why not?”
“I can’t handle it, especially when you’re so far away”
“Can’t handle it?”
“Your laugh, I can’t handle it. It kills me. I love it so much, it kills me”
“Oh”
“I shouldn’t have said that” he confessed, shamefaced.
“I don’t mind”
“I do”
“Why?”
“Because”
“Because what?”
“You know the answer to that”
“Stop saying that and give me a straight answer”
“You really want me to answer you?” he challenged.
“Yes” she stood her ground.
“…because you always back down. You’re too afraid to do something… anything.”
“Not true”
“Prove it”
“How?”
“Walk away”
“From whom?”
“Him or me, just walk away from someone. Take a decision”
“Don’t do this. Don’t be cruel”
“Me, cruel?” he asked, his voice breaking slightly “cruel to you? I’m not a masochist”
Her reply died on her lips.

“Well” she started softly at length “what about you? Why don’t you take a decision yourself? If you think I’m a coward then you’re just like me. We’re in the same boat”
“No we’re not”
“How’s that?”
“I’m still in love with you”
Silence.

“You want to know why I was crying before I called you?” she started “I’ll tell you. I was crying because I wouldn’t let him touch me. Every time he came near me I would cringe and move away, we had a fight and he locked himself in his gym room. The first thing I did when I could breathe properly again was call you, so don’t tell me that we’re not in the same boat, because actually I’m worse off, at least she has no idea.” The tone of voice she was using, she might as well had been whispering I love yous to him, not confessing her pain. But that was how she always sounded to his ears, and that was his undoing. He raked his fingers through his short black hair.
“She might not know, but I do. I don’t see her, I see you. I don’t feel her…I don’t smell her... there is no one else, only you.” She inhaled sharply at his smoldering confession.
“We’ve tried it before… you know how it ended”
“We were young and stupid”
“Well we’re not as young anymore, but we’re still as stupid, how else would you explain the pickle we’re in?” she couldn’t help being sardonic about their peculiar situation. He couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped his throat.
“I would give anything for you to be here now” he admitted as he pictured her toying absent-mindedly with a lock of her hair, twisting it around her forefinger.
On the other end, far away from him, she placed her coffee mug shakily onto the table, unable to contain the smile on her face. Fearing her feet wouldn’t be able to carry her anymore, she sought the comfort of her couch, a grin still on her face.

“Still there?” he asked, stubbing the last of his cigarette into the ashtray.
“Mmmm”
“You went very quiet”
“I’m listening to you.” He could hear the smile in her voice.
“OK”
Silence.
“Well, don’t stop” she urged playfully. She couldn’t help herself; she had always reacted to him this way -very playful, very feminine.
“I don’t know what to tell you”
“Tell me about your life over there. When do you plan on coming back?”
“Life over here has its ups and downs like everywhere else. I don’t know when we’ll be coming back” he exhaled a long drag from his new cigarette.
“Oh.” He couldn’t decide whether she sounded disappointed or relieved.
“Actually, that’s not true. I’m not happy here, but I’m not coming back anytime soon. I don’t trust myself in the same country as you. I don’t know if I would be able to stay faithful”
“I don’t know what to say”
“Say you’ll stop torturing me”
“ME?!!”
“Yes... What do you call this?”
“What?”
“This… this thing we have going on”
“I don’t know” she replied, her voice on the brink of crying. She was caught off guard, but not in unfamiliar territory. The memories came back.
“Please don’t” he begged, his tone remorseful.
“Don’t what?”
“Cry; I didn’t mean to sound harsh. I’m not blaming you… it’s not your fault where we are now.” He paused lost for words. “It’s torture knowing that I had a hand in this, it’s torture knowing I can’t hold you right now when I want nothing else. It’s torture knowing the kind of person you are and that you’re not mine anymore.” He could hardly speak from the lump in his throat. He buried his face in his palm. “I thought she would numb the pain, but it’s only magnified, because she’s not you”
“He gives me the stability I’ve always needed…but there’s no passion…no flavor... You’ve spoilt me for other men“she whimpered in defeat, and he ached all the more for her. “Oh, God, why did you call me? I had fooled myself into thinking I’m in control. Now there’s no turning back”
“I’m sorry”
“Don’t be. If you hadn’t called I would’ve”
“Really?”
“Yes”
“You’re not making much sense” she giggled in spite of herself.
“I know; it’s your fault”
“Don’t blame it on me, you always did have a screw loose” she teased, catching him off guard.
“Hey!” he objected, and she could clearly see him smiling, his dimple winking at her, as if he was standing right in front of her this very moment. “You’re lucky you’re not here right now” he warned.
“Yeah? What would you do if I were?”
“You really don’t want me to answer that”
“I don’t?” “Trust me, you don’t”
“OK”
“Well, that was easy” he announced in disappointment.
“What was easy?”
“You didn’t even want to know” he complained like a five year old.
“What makes you think I don’t already know?” His heart thumped loudly in his ears.
“You do?”
“I do”
“Tell me you love me”
“You know I do”
“I want to hear it”
“If I say it I won’t be able to take it back”
“Why would you want to take it back?” he asked, his voice filled with hurt.
“You know why.” Silently he agreed.

“Are you ever going to forgive me?” he asked remorsefully.
“I can’t say that I haven’t forgiven you, but it still hurts. I can’t forget…”
“I’m sorry, really I am, I wish I could take it back, but I can’t, and I’m punished for it everyday” “You’re not the only one being punished.”
“I wasn’t the only one at fault”
“How can you say that?!” she asked in a heated voice.
“It’s the truth” he replied calmly.
“No it’s not” she replied, her temper rising.
“Yes it is” he said again, his voice calm enough to make her realize that he wasn’t playing the blame game. So she listened as he went on.
“I hurt you, deeply, I know, and I have to live with that for the rest of my life. But it was because you shut me out, there was always a part of you that you would not share with me, to this day I don’t know why you wouldn’t let me in, no one knew you better than me, no one ever will. You can never imagine how much that hurt me, I wanted to be your comfort, your sanctuary, but you wouldn’t let me and that eventually pushed me away from you and into another woman’s arms”

“Don’t blame it on me; don’t blame your unfaithfulness on me, you always knew that I needed space, that didn’t mean that I shut you out, if that were the case, if I really shut you out, then I would’ve done the same as you ages ago, right after I found out about the first one. Yes, I knew about your so-called adventures. It would’ve been easy, and you know it, but I didn’t, because there was a time in my life when you were my life. I lived only for you… But then you forced me to make a choice when you crossed the line and brought her into my house, our house… our bed. Our life together became obsolete when it wasn’t valuable enough for you to not mix the two. The day she walked into our house is the day I walked out.”
“I never recovered from that” he confessed.
“Me neither”

“Please believe me when I say that all I had ever wanted was to be the one you went to when things got too tough for you, but you never did that, in spite of the love we shared, you never turned to me for comfort…that cut to the core of me.”

“I never realized you felt this way, you never told me. I didn’t know. It was never my intention to make you feel left out. I just wanted to feel independent, I had always lived in my mother’s shadow; it was finally my time to live my life the way I wanted. I didn’t want to turn to anyone if I had any problems, even if it was to the love of my life. I thought if I asked for help then I would prove my mother right, and I would really be the weak little girl she always said I was. I know now that that wasn’t true. I never was weak, our separation proved that to me. There was a time right after when I thought I would just shrivel up and die, but I didn’t”

“You were never weak, my love. Never. I was the weak one. I was too weak to hold on to our life. The day I found out about your new man, I wanted to kill myself. I couldn’t handle the pain. I would’ve succeeded if my brother hadn’t walked in on me at the last minute” “Oh my God; why didn’t you tell me?! All this time I thought it didn’t matter to you, at least not as much as me. Why didn’t you tell me? Why?”
“I was too proud…and ashamed.” He mumbled. “Would it have made a difference?”
“Yes”
“Now you know”
“Now it’s too late”
“Don’t say that”
“It’s the truth. We both have very different lives now”
“One word from you and I’d leave everything. Just one word”
“I can’t”
“Oh”
“Don’t do that. You know it won’t be fair to him …or her”
“What about us?”
“There is no us anymore.”
Silence.
“So, where do we go from here?” he asked her in a serious, but gentle tone.
“I don’t know”
“We haven’t moved on”
“But we can’t go back”
“How did we end up here?”
“It’s not how, we know how. It’s why”

Do Your Part. The Rest is Not Up to You [What My Dad Taught Me, and Your Dad Never Told You]

2008-11-23T02:23:00.009+02:00

اعملي اللي عليكي التوفيق من عند ربنا

For the longest time I didn’t get that. I didn’t really comprehend the meaning behind the words. Sure I know that everything happens according to the will of God. But what did it mean to me to do my part and that’s it? For a well-bred perfectionist that doesn’t make any sense. It’s not in my original programming. I needed an upgrade.

So my father explained to me that I should learn to accept that life doesn’t work according to what I think I want. So I should stop worrying about the what ifs and the coulds and shoulds. I should instead focus my energy (again focus, it’s a recurring theme with my dad that one), I should focus my energy on doing what I should do and give it my best. Whether or not I reach the result I think I should reach is really not up to me. We tend to forget that as humans when we see things happening according to an idea we have in our minds. We end up thinking that we willed it to happen, when in fact we had nothing to do with it.

It’s a very thin, but quite distinct line, if you think about it. It certainly makes life a whole lot easier. Just do your part and have faith that things will be the best they should be, even if you don’t get how that really is.

I’m sure someone out there will start saying that this is being weak and passive. It means not going after what you want. Not at all. In fact, I think it’s the exact opposite of being weak and passive. It’s not like you’re not doing anything. You’re doing your part, you’re doing it in full. But you’re doing it, and doing nothing else. You’re not trying to control anything, or stressing yourself out trying to get something to be just as you want it.

The trick, I think, is to properly identify your part, and have the control and self-discipline to do it, do it well, and let go of everything else.

How to Concentrate on the Task at Hand [What My Dad Taught Me, and Your Dad Never Told you]

2008-11-23T02:18:00.005+02:00

I remember the first time I was given a clear demonstration of how, and why, I should give whatever I’m doing 100% of my brain power.

Back when I was 10 or thereabouts I was preparing my uniform for this in house basketball match the next day. My parents were coming to watch. I was really psyched. I couldn’t find my favorite shorts. I didn’t bother to look hard enough because I didn’t have that much time, I needed to go to bed (we had extremely strict bedtime hours). So, I took a pair of spare ones that I didn’t like that much, because they didn’t fit well and gave me bad wedgies.

The next day, my parents came as promised, and I was really looking forward to showing them my hoop skills. Only I never did. In fact I had a pretty bad game and I ended up not playing that much. Needless to say I felt really bad.

Later that evening my father came into my room and talked to me about it. He explained to me that I used up a lot of my focus on trying to fix my shorts, when I should’ve been paying attention to the ball and trying to score. He asked me to think back to the game and identify the best player. I visualized her. He asked me if I had noticed her doing anything else other than giving her undivided attention to the game. Begrudgingly, I said no. He told me that if I ever want to perform to the best of my ability at anything then I need to prepare for it as best I can (and well in advance), have all my tools ready and in their best condition, so that when the time comes I can give my task my full attention. Of course, I couldn’t help but admit he was right.

Prepare, perform with focus, and have faith in your abilities.

Relax. Take it Easy [What My Dad Taught Me, and Your Dad Never Told You]

2008-11-23T02:15:00.005+02:00

He told me that way before Mika did. He told me you don’t have to be serious all the time. It’s OK to chill. Cut yourself some slack.

I was confused. Weren’t you the one who told me that I should concentrate and focus from the second I wake up (check "Don’t Let Life Just Pass You By" http://daddyz-rambling-fool.blogspot.com/2008/11/dont-let-life-just-pass-you-by.html ). Yes. But that’s doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have fun and go easy on yourself. Everything has it’s own time. When you work you focus on work. When you play you focus on play. That way everything gets it’s fair share and you’re balanced enough to do everything properly and you can concentrate on what you’re doing. And Have fun doing it. See?

I don’t know where he comes up with this stuff. Remind me to explain to you his recipe for concentration.

Don’t Let Life Just Pass You By [What My Dad Taught Me, and Your Dad Never Told You]

2008-11-23T02:10:00.005+02:00

You should concentrate from the second you wake up, my dad always tells me. My answer is: Dad, come on, don’t you think you’re pushing it too far? How can someone focus every second of everyday of his life? Doesn’t it get boring?

If you don’t focus you won’t perform to the best of your ability and then you sell yourself short, is how he explains it.

For example: two people walk through the same street, at the end of it one of the two can’t remember anything about the street, because he wasn’t paying attention. The other remembers the big tree, the bird on it, a couple of houses, people they passed by, the color of one of the cars. The next day the they pass through the same street again, and again, one doesn’t pay attention, and ends up taking nothing away with him from his journey. The other however, builds on what he saw yesterday, and now he remembers that the tree has apples the bird is blue, the street has houses on one side and gardens on the other, and the color of two cars.

If you don’t focus you’re going to miss on life’s little treasures. If you don’t focus you can’t build your intelligence (Next time I’ll tell you his definition of intelligence).

Now that would be a great loss.

Getting to Know Myself All Over Again

2008-11-22T19:30:00.006+02:00

Hello, it’s me. How have you been doing?

I’ve been quiet for a while. Going through a weird phase.

Those who know me closely would say, so what else is new, you’re weird by nature, you’re always going through weird stuff. Yes, that’s true, but it has been only a handful of times in my life when I block creativity out of my life. That’s the weirdest I ever get, when I stop doing the things that bring creativity and creative thinking into my life.

I’ve stopped writing for over a year now (actually it was one year and 3 months, but who’s counting, right?). It wasn’t a conscious decision, just something that happened. I wouldn’t pick up a pen and write (yes, I still write with pen and paper, I think it’s more intimate, and writing is an intimate process to me -I’d use a quill if I had one).

At first I had no idea why, it wasn’t because I didn’t have something to say -I always have something to say (I can imagine a few vigorous nods right about now). I think finally I have an answer though. Like I said, writing to me is an intimate process, intimate with myself, my inner being (no dirty thoughts people, it’s not what you think -get your minds out of the gutter, will you!!). Writing is a time when I’m honest with myself, my thoughts, what I stand for, and all that other highly existential stuff. Because of a number of reasons I let pile up over my shoulders, I didn’t want to face myself anymore, or my thoughts. Wouldn’t necessarily call it self-hate... that would be too strong. I just wanted to loan out my brains for a while -if it were humanly possible (although from the looks of certain things, some people seem to have found a way to do that). I wanted to stop thinking a little. Of course in the end that never really happened, I couldn’t stop the cogs in my mind, I don’t know where the off button is (for the friend who tried helping me find it... it didn’t work. Sorry, I tried).

What I did do though (without actually realizing it) is learn a few new things about me... and reacquaint myself with a few old ones too. I mean, what the hell, if you can’t beat them join them. If thinking is what I do, thinking is what I do. I’m not going to list what I learned about myself, it won’t be of use to anyone but me. What I’m trying to say here, and the reason why I’m sharing this somewhat intimate process (which is quite out of character for me, and has taken a whole lot of guts to both do and admit to), is to say, never give up on yourself -don’t throw in the towel... hang in there. Things have a way of working themselves out, even if it’s not to your liking. Be kind, and patient, with yourself. And one more thing... Love yourself.

Enjoy life and yourself.

Committing to Anything, Even Love, is a Burden [What My Dad Taught Me, and Your Dad Never Told You]

2008-11-22T18:28:00.005+02:00

Yup, he said that. My father, a hot-blooded Middle Eastern man, openly acknowledged love to his young, unmarried daughter, way back when she was a teenager. Can we move on now?

The idea of being responsible for something, or having to take any given action on a regular basis is a burden, not to mention a bit daunting. Doesn’t matter that it could be something you like doing, like playing a certain sport or a musical instrument. Sometimes you just won’t feel like doing it. We’ve all been there. The trick is not to force yourself to do them, but to realize that the time will come when you won’t want to do whatever it is you don’t want to do. So you either cut yourself some slack and not do it (knowing full well that you can’t always let yourself off the hook, after all you are a responsible human being). Or if you must do it, and there’s no way around it, then you do force yourself to do it, but then you reward yourself with something nice, for being such a responsible, dependable person.

Know that you’re not a machine. You have your ups and downs, your highs and lows, your great days and your off days. Embrace your flaws. Love your quirks. They are part of who you are. Believe me, that really does make you stronger.

The Earring [Mushy Ramblings of a Fool For Life]

2008-11-22T01:37:00.007+02:00

“Are you looking for something?” he asked the hunched figure in front of him.
Startled by the gravelly voice she looks up.
“Umm, my earring” she replied to the smiling dimple above her. “I dropped it”
“Here, let me help you” he volunteered as her bent down next to her.
“Thank you” she smiled her gratitude.
“No problem. What does it look like?” he asked while looking at the asphalt in front of him.
“Diamond stud”
“What color?”
“Platinum setting. Clear diamond”
“OK” he replied, sneaking a glimpse in her direction, just as her hand absent-mindedily flicked her hair away from her face, only to cascade around it again, in a shiny, black curtain. He looked away and tried to concentrate on the task at hand. His concentration was broken when she moved a sandaled foot to one side, the blood-colored toes glistening under the sun.

“Can’t see” she mumbled and raised her dark shades over her head, pulling her hair away from her face. Her designer sunglasses would not stay put and fell to the ground. Both spontaneously reached for the eyewear at the same time... just like it would happen in a movie. Inevitably their hands touched, and they exchanged a small smile, before giving their attention to the ground again.

This is the closest we’ve ever been, he thought as he pretended to look for the missing earring. Closer even than when she passes by me while I hold the door for her. Closer than when I stand in line behind her while she orders her daily dose of morning coffee.

I always knew he was a nice guy, started the monologue in her head, and so polite... always holding the door for me, and waiting for me to go through first.

She smells really good.
He has a lovely smile I love her hair. Wish I could touch it.
I love his dimple. Wish I could touch it.

If only they could hear each other’s thoughts.

She shifted again. Something shiny caught his eye. He looked closer. It looked like the stud that appeared on her ear, as she pushed her hair behind it. His first instinct was to acknowledge it, and tell her that he had found it, but then she would leave and this moment would be over. No, he won’t tell her just yet. A few minutes more.

Say something for God’s sake! Say something nice to the guy, he’s being very chivalrous, you have to show you appreciation. You’ll probably never get a better chance with the mysterious cappuccino dimples that almost daily tease your attention. Go for it woman! For once, just go for it.

“I really appreciate you helping me like this” she smiled at him.
“Oh it’s nothing really” he replied sheepishly.
“I hope I’m not making you late for work”
“No, it’s OK”
“What about your friends? Aren’t we holding them up?”
“Not at all. They’re a new couple. They appreciate time alone” he chuckled.
“I see” she giggled in response. His hear nearly stopped.

Laughing is a good sigh. You’ve got her comfortable. Now is your chance dude, he was urging himself silently. Say something witty and charming. Win her over man. You’ve been dying for this chance.

“Where’s your coffee?”
“It’s in my car” she replied, pointing to the vehicle they have been searching next to.

Where’s your coffee? Seriously?! he scolded himself. That’s the best you could come up with? You’re trying to go for witty and charming, not stupid and retarded.

He was trying hard to think of something to say when she yelped.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry... I spilled your coffee. I knocked it over with my foot. I didn’t see it”
“It’s OK, don’t worry about it. I shouldn’t have left it there”
“I’m such a klutz. Let me get you another one”
“It’s fine... really”
“No, I insist” she repeated, looking at him, clearly embarrassed. He could not help but notice how cute she looked blushing. Trying to ease her embarrassment he started: Look. I think I found it. Is this it?”
“Yes!” she replied excitedly. “Yes it is. Thank you!”

She got to her feet, earring in one hand, empty coffee cup in the other: “Now I really owe you. Please let me get you another cup of coffee. It’s the least I can do.”
It’s now or never dude, he thought. “I have a better idea”
“What is it?”
“Have breakfast with me tomorrow morning”
There was a pause as she looked at him totally caught off guard.
“Uh... I’d like that” she agreed, when she could finally find her voice again.
“Great!”
“Where?”
“Where else?” he smiled.
“Right. Where else?” she smiled back. Again he felt his heart flip.
“Same time?”
“Yup”
“OK. See you then”
“OK. See you” he replied before turning towards his friends, who were clearly enjoying the scene in front of them.
She was rummaging in her bag for her keys when he swiveled back to say: “I’m really glad you dropped that earring”
“Me too”

If You Can’t Trust Someone, You Can’t Have a Healthy Relationship with Them [What My Dad Taught Me, and Your Dad Never Told You]

2008-11-20T19:55:00.004+02:00

He never said those exact words, but he showed me. He showed me that trust is very important. That trust has to be earned. That trust is very hard to bring back if it’s lost –sometimes you can never get it back, no matter how hard you try.

Dad never used to monitor my every move and breathe down my neck like so many Middle Eastern men. Don’t get me wrong, dad is a through and through “Se3eedy” (a man from Upper Egypt: strong traditions, believes in propriety, that sort of thing). He’s a very intimidating, foreboding and domineering man when needed. He’s also very reasonable, understanding and logical. He taught me early on that I have to be a responsible human being –trustworthy, honest, and self-disciplined. I shouldn’t need to be monitored to act properly. I know what’s right and wrong all on my own; they can’t watch me all the time. He knew that and I got to know that. Soon I realized that if I wanted to do something I’ll find a way to do it. And because he was a kid once too and went through all the phases before me, he could relate.

I remember: I would be the only kid in my group of friends whose parents knew the truth of where they really were at any given moment. Not because I was kept under lock and key –far from it, but rather because there was an open conversation channel between us. You want to go to the movies, sure honey. You want to go to your friend’s birthday party, why not. Give your mother the house’s phone number. Once I was so tense before my IGCSE English final that my father allowed me to go watch a movie to chill a little.

As a result, I never lied to my parents, hid stuff from them, or had any friends they didn’t know about. To most people around me I was a freak of course. Some even thought I was lying to them.

Now, a single female in my thirties, I have the family house to myself. Yes, you read right. I’m a single, Egyptian female, and I have been living for the majority of the last two years on my own. Both my parents are alive and well (thank God for that), and I want them to be around for many, many, many more years. How this came about is a long story, but the gist of it is that it was a conscious decision by my father, because, as he puts it, I’m at a stage in my life where I need to know how to depend on myself, and I need my space). Life is good to me. My parents love me and I love them. We still don’t lie to each other, and we fully trust one another. What more could I ask for?

Lying is the Root of All Evil [What My Dad Taught Me, and Your Dad Never Told You]

2008-11-20T19:05:00.004+02:00

اللي يكدب يعمل كل حاجة

Of course I wouldn’t believe dad when he first told me that, I just thought he was trying to scare me into never lying. But when I got older, he explained it more to me. When you lie, he said, and it goes undetected once, you learn how to do it, and it becomes easier. Later on, you do something you clearly know is wrong (like steal for example), then you lie to cover it. Once you do that it’s downhill from there -whatever you want to do you will do, and find a way to cover up and hide.

He also told me about a hadith for the prophet PBUH (which I later of course looked up and verified -I'm daddy's girl after all: think for yourself):

عن صفوان بن سلمان قال:
قيل يا رسول الله أيكون المؤمن جبانا؟ قال: نعم
قيل له: أيكون المؤمن بخيلا؟ قال: نعم
قيل له: أيكون المؤمن كذابا؟ قال لا
رواه مسلم.

Translated to English it would mean (this is not an official translation, just my own)

Someone asked: Prophet would the believer be a coward? He replied: Yes
Would the believer be a miser? He replied: Yes
Would the believer be a liar? He replied: No

(A believer here would be a believer in God)

Naturally I asked dad: why is that? His reply to me was: You can be born a coward, or a miser. This could be your natural instinct, and God would never punish you for what He created you with. But you’re never born a liar.

Makes sense, right?

Be Cautious... But With Limits [What My Dad Taught Me, and Your Dad Never Told You]

2008-11-20T17:59:00.004+02:00

It's a healthy sign to worry about something -says my father, to want it to be perfect. It's also good to take caution in your actions. But don't over do it. He goes on to give me an example: being cautious not to spill the water in your glass, that's healthy. Worrying about it so much that you're shaking, you're going to actually spill it, that's not healthy.

No One Learns From the Pocket of Others [What My Dad Taught Me, and Your Dad Never Told You]

2008-11-20T17:26:00.004+02:00

Or محدش بيتعلم من جيب غيره

That was never truer than when I literally paid money to compensate for giving an un-cleared discount on an item, back when I used to work for the family company. That certainly taught me a lesson!! No more discounts without clearing them properly first. It's self evident too. I still remember it... something that happened over 10 years ago. If he had simply told me don't do that again (I mean come on, I'm the boss's daughter) I wouldn't be here talking about it now. At the time I thought he was being too tough on me, it was my first mistake. Now I know better... much better.

You have to do things yourself to remember them. Getting down to the nitty gritty is the only way to learn.

You're a Princess [What My Dad Taught Me, and Your Dad Never Told You]

2008-11-20T17:18:00.004+02:00

This is one of the things that were never said -it was just done. I remember back when my brother was a pain in the you know where, and we used to fight a lot, he told him: if you and I don't treat the women of this house like they're princesses, take care of them and pamper them, who will? How will people treat her if they see you abusing her? Respect your sister so that she knows what that's like. Respect your sister so that the world will. Respect your sister so that her husband will. You wouldn't want her to be mistreated by others would you?

He really said that.

A Talented Sheikh Exorcises Demons One by One [What My Dad Taught Me, and Your Dad Never Told You]

2008-11-20T16:54:00.004+02:00

Or... deal with problems one at a time.

When he said it, it went الشيخ الشاطر يطلع العفاريت عفريت عفريت

Simple rule. Great results.... Don't overwhelm yourself. Focus. Take your time (when possible). But most important: BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.

All Experiences are Good Experiences [What My Dad Taught Me, and Your Dad Never Told You]

2008-11-20T16:44:00.004+02:00

All experiences are good experiences… even the bad ones. My father told me that. Naturally I didn’t get it the first time. How’s that? I had asked. How is a bad experience a good one? He said: that’s because now you know this is bad, so next time you’ll either stay away from it, know how to deal with it if you have to, or learn from your mistake (if you actually did a one).

This is what taught me to have no fear of the unknown. You live you learn. To live you have to go through stuff –the good and the bad.

Bottleneck Syndrome

2008-10-04T18:01:00.005+02:00

A friend was venting the other day about her ridiculous workload, and how the various projects she was managing needed immediate attention all of a sudden. never letting a chance for sarcasm go by, I felt it my duty to point out that she was suffering from an acute case of what I like to call Classic Bottleneck Syndrome, which we as individuals, and hence as a nation, have become so proficient in that we can now package and sell for a living... and make a killing on -if it were useful to anyone!

More often than not we love to centralize power and decision-making, even where it does not apply. We also get a great deal of comfort from holding all the cards, and holding them as close to out chests as possible. I cannot help but think that this is the warped result of the mixture of two main things. First, a now inherent sense of distrust: one of the direct outcomes of facing a multitude of both societal and political issues and upheavals throughout the majority of the last century (and that is putting it mildly). Second, panic and self-doubt caused by ignorance, whether from being ill equipped to handle whatever it is you are left in charge of, or for the lack of a basic knowledge infrastructure on which one bases their acquired knowledge and expertise. These crippling emotions have reached an all time high, after being bequeathed to us from past generations, each one unconsciously passing the torch to the next.

This nasty concoction inevitably results in believing that everyone else is just the same: lost, and ignorant, willing to screw you over to cover their insecurities, since basic psychology says: "we project onto others what lies within us". It is no wonder then that most people in power are not willing to relinquish it.

This lack of confidence also brings about another lovely condition that makes our lives, especially the corporate ones, the epitome of slow cooking hell. Slow cooking because things take forever to happen, and you have to move at a snail's pace as a result. The monster I am talking about is Micro-Management, whereby any superior takes it upon themselves to breathe down your neck and ask for updates on pretty much all of your moves. Conversely, when they finally find someone they can trust somewhat, they overload them with responsibility, therefore creating another bottleneck, very similar to what my friend, and many others, face almost on a daily basis.

Until we trust ourselves and, therefore, trust each other, things are not going to get any better. For that to happen we need to switch on the light in our brains, and truly understand what goes on around us. We need to become responsible for ourselves, our actions and consequences, no matter what. No one is infallible, and we should not be. We are supposed to make mistakes -that is how we learn, this is how we progress. As long as the mistakes are not due to apathy and irresponsibility, it is OK to make them. Fear of punishment and accountability is crippling our free will and our power of logic. It is also affecting our productivity, growth, and self-fulfillment. It is not mumbo jumbo as some might say. Think about it, if one had the self-assurance of true knowledge and not hot air, combined with a trust in their perception abilities, they would not unconsciously project their insecurities onto others. They would also be calm and clear-headed enough to take the proper actions and decisions, when they matter, no matter their size. Now think about the opposite scenario, disastrous right?

I leave you with the last thing I said to my friend on the topic...

محدش فاهم حاجة

ناس بتشتغل زي الدونكي وناس كان اصلها دونكي مع الاعتذار للدونكي

Translated to English to say...

No one understands anything

Some work like donkeys, others were originally donkeys, with apologies to the donkeys.

Then and Now [Daily Musings of a Fool For Life]

2008-09-15T21:57:00.003+02:00

I do not know if I am getting older, and supposedly wiser, or just getting sadder, but I am noticing all sorts of little things that tug at your heart, and in the sad, tear-jerking way too. Another instance in front of the TV, and another thought-provoking scene: legendary singer Asmahan's royal family tries to flee into Egypt without the proper documentation.

What caught my attention, other than the princely manner with which the princess mother dealt with all adversity, is how she managed to enter her family into Egypt. She asks the officer in charge to call Saad Pacha Zaghloul, then Prime Minister, in order to inform him that the Atrash family wants to seek refuge in Egypt. In spite of the officer's incredulity, he is respectful enough of the woman reasoning with him to at least give her the benefit of the doubt. His soul is uncorrupted enough for him to use free will. His brain muscle has obviously been exercised enough for him to be able to use logic to actually place a call to the Prime Minister, regardless of his earlier objections of not being able to talk to the Prime Minister's secretary, let alone the Prime Minister himself. That was the first part of the marvel. The second part was when his call actually went through -and directly to the Prime Minister in person. The third shocker was Zaghloul's instantaneous decision to grant them entry. Even before this entire plea for asylum, the princess had to come into contact with a junior officer on the train whose job was to check for documentation. Even though the officer was unhappy with the situation and in disbelief at the woman's claims. he was courteous, if not gentlemanly, but at least he did not drag them out, and cuss at them.

Now bear in mind that this is a true story, and not a work of fiction.

The existing world's political unrest would not allow a similar outcome anywhere in the world. This realization made me very sad.

The regular Egyptian's current state of mind, and sense of fear and helplessness, would not allow the average office to act according to his own logic. That realization made me even sadder.

The saddest thing though is that it is a downhill movement for us in Egypt. I cannot see this situation happening again in Egypt in this day and age. Can you?

Choices [Daily Musings of a Fool For Life]

2008-09-15T10:36:00.002+02:00

I thank God I do not need. Of course, nowadays, the first need that comes to mind is the need for financial security. So again, I am very thankful to God that I do not need; that I do not have to worry about food, clothes and shelter. I sometimes forget how blesses I am in that regard, because as a human being I am inclined to lose sight of what is right in front of me, and take ongoing, everyday privileges for granted. You are probably wondering what I am about. Here it comes.

I wonder... would I be this righteous and hell bent on doing the right thing if I have to worry about where my next meal is coming from? I was watching this TV series and one scene got me thinking: a poor many was being propositioned by this rich, ex-boss (since the guy was just forced into early retirement). He was propositioned to sign documentation for receiving company products worth 10 million Egyptian Pounds, while never actually receiving them, and getting two million pounds in return, and the consequent wrap for the crime. As the scene ended I wondered: how would I act if I were in that man's shoes? This is retired father of four, responsible for sheltering, feeding and clothing six people, as well as educating and marrying off four of them. Would I be as adamant as I am right now about doing the right thing? Would I be as crystal clear then, as I am now on what is right and what is wrong?

I am not 100% certain of my answer. Part of me hopes I never have to be, because honestly I am scared. I am scared that I will not be strong enough. I would like to think that I am. I would like to believe that if faced with a similar crossroad, and I am not at an advantage, I would still choose the hard path... the right path.

It is easy to choose when you have the upper hand. The true challenge, I believe, is when the odds are not in your favor, and you still have to choose. I do not wish this on anyone.

Of Easter and Its Traditions

2008-04-29T13:47:00.004+03:00

Published in (in)sight Magazine, April 2008 issue

If the smell of chives, pungent fish and the sight of rainbow eggs is not clue enough for you by now, then let me state the obvious…Easter is upon us.

We all know that Easter has both religious and traditional aspects commemorated all over the world. But which one is it? Or is it both? And what does Easter whether religious or traditional mean to nations around the world? Let us see.

Although most people think that Easter represents the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus Christ, the truth is that this day actually represents the ushering of Spring, “the crossing of the sun through the vernal equinox” when the day becomes longer than the night. In Pagan times they considered the sun being “resurrected” after being “dead” during the long, cold winter. It is Passover and the sun is “born again”. Therefore, contrary to popular belief, Easter was really originally a Pagan celebration that was later turned into a Christian Holy Day after the widespread of the religion. The missionaries at the time were shrewd enough to incorporate already existing Pagan celebrations and rituals into their religion to facilitate the adoption of Christianity.

I think you will realize how connected ancient civilizations were, when you notice that the word Easter, Eastre or Eostre in Anglo-Saxon is the name for the dawn goddess. Although for the sake of precision, I have to say that this particular Goddess was associated to a number of other elements as well, depending on whose account you refer to. For instance, she was also associated to offspring and birth as well as spring. Come to think of it, these elements are quite close knit. Spring can be considered a rebirth of nature after a cold winter, and dawn is the birth of a new day.

So, the goddess Easter, Eastre or Eostre corresponded to Ishtar in Assyria and Babylon, Astrate from the Northwestern Semetic regions, Ostara from Germany, and Isis, the Ancient Egyptian goddess and mother of Horus, the Sun God, who for one of his names used the label Khonsu, which is part of Pa-Khonsu the Ancient Egyptian name for Easter, translating to “Pessach” (notice how phonetically close it is to passage –hence Passover) and Pascha in Hebrew and Greek respectively. You might also note that the word East is the root of Easter–the direction from which the sun rises. Cool, right?

Then there are the icons of Easter, namely, the bunny and the egg. Their stories are quite interesting. Apparently the bunny was a personification of the same Anglo-Saxon Goddess Eastre; they worshipped her through bunnies, which could be directly related to one of her most popular myths, in which she turned a bird whose wings had frozen during the winter into a bunny to keep warm. Since that bunny was originally a bird it could still lay eggs, and became the symbol of the goddess and the focal point of her spring celebration.

On a grander scale, the bunny, along with the chicken, was widely viewed as a sign of fertility in antiquity by many civilizations. Later, the bunny also became associated with the moon, whose cycle determined the date of the Eastre goddess celebration (and afterwards, modern-day Easter celebrations). Although the exact reason, and time, of the introduction of the Easter Bunny as a symbol for the Christian celebration are not clear, it has become accepted that he made his first appearance aided by the Germans circa 1500 A.D. In case you are wondering what brought the Germans into play, here is a brief historical explanation. The Anglo-Saxons were originally Germanic peoples who settled throughout Europe in the old days –we are talking late antiquity, early Middle Ages here. The Germanic language was adopted across what is now known as the Netherlands, Austria, Germany and England. They also transitioned what was then the Roman Empire into Medieval Europe. Whether they brought the Easter Bunny with them is not documented anywhere, but it would make sense for travelers to take their traditions with them to their new settlement.

Continuing with the whole birth rebirth and fertility theme we find the Easter egg; it was viewed as a sign of rebirth and fertility, because of its association to the chicken and its abundance during the vernal equinox. There is also the association of the egg-laying bunny created by the goddess Eastre.

There is no exact date, not even a vague timeline as to when Easter first started, or where exactly, but it was elaborately celebrated throughout the ancient world. Nowadays traditions seem to have become funnier and sillier, depending on how you look at it. For example: in Poland, Easter Monday is called Dyngus Day or Wet Monday. On that day the Polish share with the Czech a great affinity for a weird tradition, possibly connected to pre-Christian, pagan fertility rites. Boys on that day awake girls by drenching them with water and striking them with twigs of willow or birch. As time went on the focus of the ritual shifted to the courting aspect, and boys would arrange with mothers of the girls they liked for passage to their bedrooms to wake them up with their bucket loads of water. Yes, that is how I would like to find my future husband, with pneumonia and a heart attack!! The first documented account if this ritual was found in Poland 250 years before Poland officially adopted Christianity.

There is another interesting Polish tradition still practiced, although not quite as wide spread: dusting bowls of ashes on passersby or houses. Where do they come up with this stuff?!

In Hungary they have a wet tradition of their own, although not as violent or scary –boys sprinkle girls with perfume or perfumed-water. Girls then reward boys who sprinkle them with coins or Easter eggs. Now isn’t that much nicer?

Aside from wet rituals, there are egg rituals. The French and Belgians are said to drop eggs from the sky using the Cloches de Paques (Easter Bells). These flying bells are a representation of the church bells that were silenced on Good Friday in commemoration of the death of Christ, and allowed to ring again on Easter morning to celebrate the resurrection. Originally, these flying bells were thought to have gone all the way to Rome and back, on Easter morning, to collect the eggs they would drop when they come back.

A game called “egg dumping” is played on Easter in Northern England, as well as Croatia, Serbia, Bulgaria, Austria and German-speaking Switzerland (again with the German – they really like their spring these people). Players are armed with hard boiled eggs (called pace by the people of Northern England –a corruption of the Latin medieval word for Easter: Pasche.). The objective of the game is to hit each other’s eggs with you own. The last man standing would be the one with his egg intact. Losers eat their eggs. In Louisiana the game is called “Pocking Eggs” and comes with a twist: the winner has to eat the eggs of the losers. Not sure how that would make him a winner though.

And then there is us, the Egyptians. Ancient Egyptians had an annual celebration called “Shamo” meaning ‘creation’ or ‘renewal of life’, celebrating the harvest season, which coincided with spring. On this day ancient Egyptians offered salted fish, lettuce and onions to the gods. The date of “Shamo” was not fixed, and was usually announced the night before at the foot of the Great Pyramid. During the Coptic age the name was corrupted to ‘Shamm’ (smelling, or breathing in) and the word ‘nessim’ (breeze) was added. And the rest, as you know, is history, rank, salted mullet, otherwise affectionately known as Fiseekh, and green onions galore (or scallions for the sophisticates out there). It is said that the ancient Egyptians first celebrated Shamo around the end of the third dynasty, in 2700BC. Whether they were the first was never really proven.

So whether Easter is about the spring season, the new warm sun or the resurrection of Christ, it sure feels wonderful to bask in the glow of that rejuvenated sun, and take in the beauty of the fresh colorful blooms. So go out there and enjoy it for all it is worth. Happy Fiseekh day everyone; do not forget the heavy duty chewing gum. Enjoy.

10 Romantic Outings in Cairo

2008-04-29T13:34:00.007+03:00

Published in (in)sight Magazine, April 2008 issue.

For the record, when I was first approached to do this piece, I had my qualms about it. You see, while I have nothing against the whole mushy wushy candlelit dinner thing, it can get a bit too clichéd for my taste. Do not get me wrong. I am all for romance, being lovey dovey and all dewy eyed over the one that makes your heart go tickety tick, but I want to get a fresh perspective. Enter my reasoning as to what would make for a romantic outing around the sooty city of Greater Cairo.

First, I believe, the outing should reduce stress, if not eliminate it altogether. Stress and romance just do not mix. Also for romance to breathe, it needs some semblance of privacy. I am not talking island privacy (although that is not really such a bad idea, is it?), just private enough not to worry about people watching your every move, and being all up in your business. Finally, there is comfort; be it with your surroundings, yourself or your company.
With all these elements in mind, and realizing that you cannot always have exactly what you want –that a little compromise is necessary, I began work on the list. But I have to warn you beforehand, this list is not going to include any of the traditional stuff, I am not really good at that. If you are up for a different take on spending romantic time with someone you care about, read on.

10. Movie theatre
This is a classic outing that I do not think will go out of style any time soon. Think about it: you, your date, only one source of lighting, supposed quiet (supposed being the operative word for our movie theatres nowadays). A night at the movies is only tainted by the plethora of noisy, fashionable-than-thou kids, and cell phone posers who cannot seem to remember to silence their gadgets while watching the movie. Thankfully, there are new options that, for the time being, provide a private and peaceful option. Granted they are pricey, but that is the cost for being particular, plus all the amenities you get in exchange make for a memorable experience. Of course, you can always be creative and hit the movie theatre mid week in the morning, when everyone else is busy doing something else.

9. Couples’ game night

You and your partner against other couples: Bonding and intimacy. Trying to understand what they mean with those crazy squiggles they are frantically drawing: Belly aching laughter –stress relief. Beating the competition: unadulterated fun. This outing fortifies that if the company is right, any activity can be romantic.

8. Club at morning
It is quiet and not crowded, and if you are early enough the place will feel like it is yours. You can walk around, have breakfast, chase each other across the garden, and just go nuts with the kiddy swings and jungle gym, or anything else that tickles your fancy. No activity is too silly or childish at this point.

7. Any quiet, clean garden
Correct me if I am wrong but a garden just means serenity. It is as if nothing can go wrong in a garden, especially in the morning, when the birds are chirping, the sun is shining and if you are early enough, the greenery smells dew fresh. You might not even mind a slightly noisy baby running around; maybe even consider the cute factor of it. I said might. Anyway, a couple of gardens I would recommend are The Swiss Club and Euro Deli Maadi, just because they are not so easily located, and to be there you would have had to do that by choice, not coincidence.

6. Abou El Sid Maadi
Just the fact that it is out of the way, gives off the immediate sense of intimacy and privacy. The “pergola-ed” terrace is outdoorsy and homey at the same time, thanks to the relaxed furnishing of couches and lounge chairs clustered to tables around two-tiered Moroccan fountain area. While you realize that there are other patrons around you, they are not overwhelming your space, and you can relax and enjoy the ambiance and your company. I recommend going there an hour or so before sunset; the change in weather and timing add another layer to your surroundings, especially when they turn on the lanterns for the first time.

5. Breakfast at Luceille’s
Breakfast is so underrated. Not only is it the most important meal of the day as our mothers always told us, but it takes place at one of the most promising times of the day: the beginning, when subliminally you believe that anything is possible. You are as fresh as you can be and looking forward to a new day. Couple that with Luceille’s and you definitely have a recipe for success. There is just something about those plush booths that screams intimate; you sink into one of them and you just do not want to move, or maybe that would be the breakfast overdose talking. Now if only their service was a little faster. But I guess that is irrelevant when you are with someone you want to dally around with forever.

4. Felucca ride
Picture this: the two of you side by side (or face to face as the case may be) on a boat languidly swaying across the Nile, the traffic jams only vaguely visible and totally immaterial. It does not really matter what time you go on your boat ride, although the wow factor is greater starting from sunset during the summertime. If you are a winter person, early mornings would be better than the rest of the daytime because of the sun, but always take something warm with you. Unfortunately you have to take into account the occasional noisy neighboring feluccas and boats, as well as 3am Zalata, your nosy boatman-cum-host for the evening. Guess you cannot win them all.

3. A walk around old Maadi
Aaah. Nothing says romance more than a lazy stroll in a serene neighborhood, with all the pretty villas on either side of you, as you are shaded by the lush greenery. The calming quiet is punctuated only by the chirping of unseen birds. You can let your mind float peacefully around and think of nothing… or the person walking next to you.

2. Full-moon horse-back riding by pyramids
Horse, moon, desert, partner; cannot get anymore perfect, except if you add a beach to the scene, but we are talking Cairo, the land of the Nile not the beach. Whether you trot slowly or race with your hair swishing behind you, nothing beats the exhilaration of reaching your destination on horseback, with your partner right next to you, as you are getting your jockey on. The full moon shining down covers everything with a silver sheen, and you can clearly see, but not clearly enough that the mystery is gone. If you have a wild imagination, now would be the time for you to go bananas with it.

1. Driving around Cairo at dawn
I am a sap for new beginnings. I find them incredible exciting. My personal fascination with driving around at dawn started when I volunteered to drive someone to the airport at 6am one summer. Sleepless after the drive, I just drove around with no particular heading in mind. The city looked beautiful. The non-existent traffic gave me a chance to enjoy really beautiful, but otherwise unseen architecture. With the sun still a few hours away from full force, there was a cool breeze accentuated by the speed of my car. Now, include your partner, add your favorite morning drink and light breakfast, and you have just about one of the most romantic, serene, private and understated outings ever. Dragging yourself out of your bed would be so worth it at this point, and you are ready to take on anything that comes your way the rest of the day. What is not to love?

For the keen eyes out there, you probably think that I am biased towards Maadi. I might be. But there is a reason. I think it is the least tainted part of the Cairo that was. So romance still has a greater chance there more than anywhere else in Greater Cairo. If I am wrong, please tell me.

So to end, feel free to mix and match, adding your own flavor, and apply as necessary. You can name one of your babies after me as thank you.

The Beauty of Beauty

2008-04-28T01:04:00.003+03:00

Published in (in)sight Magazine, April 2008 issue.

I was sitting one morning by my window sipping my coffee, my mind full of absolutely nothing, when I wondered: what is beauty? Lots of images came to my mind: sunset at the beach, a baby giggling, a full moon, waterfalls, genuine displays of affection between whomever and not just romantically, quiet mornings, fresh coffee, the list was never-ending.

This is not the first time I think, or write, about beauty and its subsequent myth; it probably will not be the last time either. We humans are obsessed with beauty –that is undeniable. Why? Simple, it is pleasant. And pleasant is always appealing.

So, what do you think of when you hear the word beauty? What does it mean to you? What does it represent? Is it really in the eye of the beholder like they say? Is it skin deep? Are there basic elements of beauty that cannot be disputed? Or do we set our own rules? Is it a secondary element in our lives, or has it become a modern day currency?

I asked a lot of people what beauty means to them. Most guys outlined their definition of a good looking woman (flowing hair, bountiful “assets”, legs up to there, you know the drill). Girls were not that different, although not that cliché: six pack, broad shoulders, and a good tan, were among the run of the mill specs, although there were also a few great smile and genuine eyes in the list.

Even though the features these people mentioned were indeed beautiful, I felt that for the most part they did not quite get the concept of beauty in the absolute. They were only considering the human form as the only (or maybe ultimate) form of beauty. Now while a human being really is a fine sample of how beautiful beauty can be, they are not the only form of beauty. Although I think in this day and age we have become conditioned to notice beauty only in the absolutely obvious. Maybe it is because of the proverbial rat race, or our growing detachment from reality, caused by the ultimate double edged sword that is modern technology –we do not interact with life to the same degree our parents did, or their parents before them, and perhaps that has helped radically skew our perception of a whole number of different issues, beauty being one of the most prominent.

At this point you are probably expecting me to go down the familiar road of how the media has screwed up our idea of the beautiful body ideal. I am not. Been there, done that, as many before me have. What I am talking about here is our basic perception of the notion of beauty. Beauty as a moving element –found everywhere, not just in the contours of the human physique.

At the risk of sounding really silly and naïve, I recommend that the next time you take a drive, look at your surroundings with an appreciative eye, an eye searching for beauty. You will be amazed at the different kinds of beauty you will find; and in the weirdest places. Trust me. You will notice things like how distressingly beautiful that black factory smoke is, as it rises up in the morning blue sky, swaying around, like a drunken sailor. Or how when you are stuck on the 6th October bridge the sun, or night lights, glistens off of the Nile’s smooth surface.

I would like to think that searching for, and appreciating, beauty is a way of life. It makes a whole lot of things more tolerable. So the next time you are on a date from hell, take note of how the different ingredients of your mocha swirl in your mug, taking up a multitude of earth tone shapes, as you dissolve them with your spoon. Or when you are bored senseless waiting to be ushered in for your interview, trace the floor tiling with your eyes for interesting shapes or anomalies. You will be stunned at how your mood changes for the better.

Bottom line: beauty is everywhere, do not let others define what beauty is for you; you decide for yourself, it is much more enjoyable and way more flavorful that way; just a humble thought.

Last-Minute Nation

2007-09-23T15:38:00.000+02:00

Published in What Women Want September/October 2007 issue

A wise man once said, give one hour to a human being to do a task that takes five minutes, and he will wait until the last five minutes to start on the task. Procrastination: the act of putting off to a future time. Procrastination: the thief of time. Everybody has put off doing something at one point in their lives. Everybody does it, no big deal, right?

Wrong.

It becomes a big deal when dawdling grows to be the only way to handle anything. It becomes a big deal when waiting until the last possible minute turns into the culture of a nation, and missing deadlines is the method of choice in dealing with life. It becomes a big deal when you do not respect, or appreciate, the importance of timeliness; and it turns into a disaster when dragging your feet results in you losing sense of time altogether.

How, you ask. Here is how.

When you are under the gun, and you need to get something done, NOW, you become very edgy, irritable and more prone to anger. Subconsciously you are thinking to yourself that there is no room for error, there is no extra time to repeat anything; it has to be done right the first time. You allow for nothing to stand in your way; you are as tight as a drum. This is prime weather for hefty clashes. So, for example, this is why during Ramadan, the streets are overflowing with people fighting; and not just any kind of fighting, I am talking bloodhound, I-see-red type of fighting. It is because they are all rushing to get home in time for Iftar. They have no tolerance for anything or anyone; they are blinded to anything but their need to get home right away in time to eat.

If it is not the crazy fighting, then it is the blood curdling car accidents. I take the ring road for my drive home from work, and almost everyday during Ramadan, I see the remains of at least one really horrendous accident. More often than not they are the outcome of people losing control of their vehicles as a result of excess speeding, because they are trying to reach their destination and are running very late.

I ask you, did Maghreb (dusk) prayer time creep up on these people and take them by surprise? It has always been there! Same time as ever (save for the slight Earth movement of course, for the nitpickers out there).

Then there is the aggravating example of eleventh hour madness that takes hold of Cairo during the two days before Ramadan, and the last two days of Ramadan. Suddenly the cars are three tiers in the streets, people are packed like sardines in shops, and the city is smothered in total chaos. Everyone is scuttling around trying to do last minute shopping for absolutely everything, not just little bits and pieces.

Tardiness is not exclusive to Ramadan of course, it is just magnified during that month because of the strict, unwavering deadline, linked to what probably all Egyptians value more than their own lives: food!

Dragging your feet and dallying run wild and free in the world of business as well. How many of you have to contend with circumstances such as the following: There is a major occurrence coming up, be it a report due, a project launch, or a marketing campaign, etc. The date of this occurrence is not a surprise to any of the people involved, you have even talked about it once or twice, yet somehow, all the major work for handling this event seems to always happen at the last possible minute, when it is completely up in the air whether or not you will actually meet the deadline, and it is equally obscure whether or not the deliverables of this project will be up to par with the required standards. In a nutshell, there is now no margin for error, although, you know for a fact that because of all of this hurrying around, nothing but errors will occur! As an added bonus to this scampering around you have no time to think about anything, to get creative; you are on autopilot. You become ‘7afez mesh fahem’. That is certainly no way to do business, or anything else for that matter.

Why does that keep happening? Why are we constantly rushing home, praying that we reach there in time for Iftar, and we always end up getting caught up in the same gridlock because everybody else is rushing as well, because they too are running very late? Why are we constantly scurrying around like mice, trying to meet a work deadline, and we are so stressed that ulcers are not far behind? Why are we constantly working under Emergency law? Sure, pressure is good for you; it gets the blood pumping and makes you feel alive. You feel empowered when you face pressure and persevere. But…you can do it once, you can do it twice, but you cannot keep doing it your entire life!! (Oh but wait, that is what the government has been doing for years now. Enough said).

People, I am sad to say, we have turned into a last-minute nation.

We leave everything till the last possible minute. We extend deadlines. We do things in double time, at least. We can no longer measure time correctly. The list goes on, but the gist of it is that time does not factor into our daily lives, the results of which are too great for me to discuss all at once in this article.

Don Marquis, American journalist and humorist (1878–1937), once said “Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday”. Maybe that would explain a lot about the shameful state we have reached as a people. Maybe that is why we constantly say, we were the pharaohs, we built the pyramids, we erected the great dam, but we never say things like we are building so and so, we are working on such and such, we have managed to accomplish the following. Sad really.

We can do much better than what we are doing right now.

Just so that we are clear, I am talking about the chronically late, not the once-every-blue-moon ones.

Summer Breeze [Mushy Musings of a Fool For Life]

2007-08-23T17:47:00.003+03:00

["I've had enough of this" she thinks to herself as she stands up, smoothing the skirt of her red chiffon dress.
Instinctively her eyes dart to the door as she unconsciously flicks her hazelnut hair with the back of her hand and struts to the door, her footsteps matching the beat of the music playing. She pushes the oak of the double door with her palms and walks through. As the doors close behind her the music dies down slightly and she heaves a big sigh. She closes her eyes for a moment and concentrates on the cool breeze tickling her cheeks as it trifles softly through her wispy shoulder length hair. She opens her eyes and walks away from the door. Her heels click softly on the stone floor as she takes in the paper lanterns swaying to the faint music. She takes another deep breath feeling her lungs expand in appreciation of the salty scent of the sea generously carried in the summer breeze.
She is tracing a dancing shadow cast by a lantern to her right with her eyes when a deep, husky, male voice trickles thickly towards her, "are you jealous?"
She feels her insides reacting to the voice but she doesn't look in its direction. That voice. How many times has she heard it, listened intently to it, lost herself in it, laughed with it, played word ping pong with it. That voice!
After taking deliberate time, dramatically, she swivels on her heel, making the diaphanous chiffon layers of her dress swish lightly against her skin, and her soft, sun-kissed hair fan out around her face.
"Are you talking to me?" she asks in mock innocence, her eyes intent on the owner of the voice.
The sight of him takes her breath away. His glistening raven hair, his slightly crooked nose, his devil-may-care mouth, and those outrageously hypnotic eyes, although they're not quite close enough to command their effect on her. The way he self assuredly takes his stance with his statuesque figure always sets her heart aflutter. Yummy, she thinks to herself; all six feet of him -absolutely yummy.
Deciding to indulge her, since she did "the swivel" he likes so much, he rakes his fingers through his hair and looks around. Slowly, he places his hands in his pant pockets as he pushes back the flaps of his black suit jacket and echoes her intent gaze." I don't see anyone else here", his gravely voice flows towards her again.
She doesn't say anything and keeps looking at him. He saunters towards her, his hands still in his pockets, his eyes fixed on her. "So are you?" he challenges softly.
"Am I what?" she asks just as softly, her voice teasing.
"Jealous" he drawls, moving a couple of steps closer. As he steps further into the light, she notices he has undone his tie and has opened the first three buttons of his crisp white shirt, revealing the beginning of a very tanned chest.
She tilts her head slightly to one side, clasps her hands lightly behind her back putting her weight on one leg, and asks in a smooth, still teasing voice: "Jealous of what?"
"Jealous," he takes another step closer, "of Tamara being very flirty with me all night" he looks deeply into her eyes and she feels a little tingle running madly up and down her spine. Steady, steady girl, she says to herself. Don't wobble, she silently orders her knees as she feels herself starting to get sucked into his vibrant blue eyes, DON'T wobble! She tries to concentrate on answering him, but the mischief emanating from those deep pools are making it hard.
"Was she?" she asks airily, "I hadn't noticed"
"You know she was" he answers very slowly and in a very low, deep voice, it was all she could do to stop herself from moving towards him. No, I won't! I'm not going to go to him, she says to herself; he wants me, he's going to have come get me.
As she is caught in her thoughts, falling somewhat under the spell of his penetrating gaze, his eyes slowly drink her in, standing gracefully in the soft light of the paper lantern. He moves slowly from her soft brown eyes, over her small nose and rests on her lips. Tempting lips, he thinks to himself. Totally kissable, he continues as he notices the cute way the corner of her mouth turned up slightly. I really want to kiss that corner. No, no, NO. Stop it, he mentally shakes himself. Concentrate, concentrate! But his eyes are already wandering off again; going down past her round chin, moving very slowly along her graceful neck. The little glinting pendant around her neck catches his eye, and for a second he feels himself losing grip on his resolve. He's mesmerized by the rhythm of her breathing moving the pendant slowly, steadily, up and down against her tanned flesh. Do not look lower, DO NOT LOOK LOWER! He screams at himself, and with great effort, he forces his eyes up; up slowly to meet her eyes again. Her eyes twinkle under the light.
At length she answers in a sultry, self-assured voice: "Even if she was, there's no reason for me to be jealous of her"
"Oh?" he crosses his arms across his broad chest "and why's that?" his mouth curves up in amusement.
"Well" she drawls, flicking her hair, "for one, if I were to ever be jealous of Tamara -over anything" she emphasizes the word anything purposefully, "that would mean that we are on an even keel, she and I; that is not correct." She pauses for dramatic effect. "I'm not being arrogant," she adds evenly, "there is absolutely no comparison between us."
A half smile draws on his lips and a wave of amusement washes over his face as his eyes twinkle, the look of mischief deepening. She's totally right, he ponders. There is absolutely no comparison, of course; never was, never will be. She is so irresistible right now, softly swaying from side to side, the chiffon gently lapping against her bare arms.
A wisp of her bangs fall into her eyes and she absent-mindedly pushes it away with her well-manicured fingers. I wish I could've done that, he laments. Steady boy, play this one out.
"And two?" he inquires, his voice as thick and rich as ever. "Two?" she asks. "Yeah," he moves closer still, now he was a breath away from her, "you said for one; I'm assuming there's at least a for two" "Oh, yes" she smiles. His heart melts. "For two" she pauses, her voice barely above a whisper, "you don't belong to me for me to be jealous over." She looks at him, her cheeky eyes challenging his mischievous pair. "I don't?" he asks brazenly.
"According to the latest reports, you don't" she arches her left eyebrow.
"And what reports are those?"
"My weekly business reports" she retorts, totally deadpan.
"Oh those" he nods with mock understanding.
"Yeah"
"Are they reliable -those reports?" he asks, his penetrating eyes boring through her.
"Very" she quivers slightly in enjoyment of their tango.
"But didn't you get the addendum?" he asks seriously.
"What addendum?"
"The addendum to your weekly report"
"Huh?"
"Yes," he continues, finding himself on a roll, "apparently, you've made a new acquisition that didn't get mentioned in your latest report." His eyes gleam in unbridled enjoyment. "Wanna know what the acquisition is?"
"No" she answers cheekily, her heart going a mile a minute.
"Yes you do" his lips twitch with a devilish smile. "No I don't" she curves the corner of her lips in challenging mischief. "Yes you do" he retaliates pulling her purposefully into his arms. She laughs with delighted shock. Her laugh grabs hold of his heart and squeezes.
"Excuse me," she says with mock authority, "what are you doing?" "Telling you" he grins brazenly. She giggles. "Telling me what exactly?"
"Telling you about your latest acquisition"
"Oh, is that what this is?" she asks in amusement, her palms resting lightly on his muscular chest giving them both blissful ripples of electric tickles.
"Absolutely" He is still grinning, his voice a husky whisper.
"Interesting method you have here"
"It's a new technique I'm trying out"
"Is it effective?"
"I hope so"
"You hope so?"
"I hope so" he nods, his eyes engulfing her. She gives a little involuntary sigh and his arms pull her closer still. They can hear the sultry twang of a faint electric guitar in the background, mixing softly with the sound of the waves lapping against the shore, now covered with the cloak of darkness.
"How will you know then?" she inquires softly, her velvety voice holding him captive.
"Know what?" he murmurs totally lost in her eyes, completely enraptured by the curves of her mouth.
"If your method is effective" she whispers, her cheekiness slightly failing her. Involuntarily he lifts his hand to her hair and softly holds a lock, twirling it lightly.
"You have very clean hair" he says seriously. She throws her head back laughing. Oh my God, he says to himself. That laugh should be registered a hazard to one's sanity, a lethal weapon. I would gladly sell my soul for that laugh.
"Subtle" she says still laughing.
"What?" he asks playing innocent.
"You're changing the topic" she looks straight into his eyes.
"I am not!" he says pretending to be shocked.
"Yes you are!" she answers emphatically.
"No I am not" he replies defiantly.
"You so are!" she retaliates very amused by the look of trapped mischief in his eyes. I'm not letting him off the hook, she muses. He is so cute when he's trapped.
"I'm not" he says calmly, "it's very important to me that my owner has clean hair" his face totally deadpan. She catches her breath. His owner -that's me. He just threw the ball in my court. Ooh, I could just kill him for that! But those eyes...... I could never do without those eyes. And those arms, such strong, powerful arms. OK, ok, don't get carried away.
"Your owner, huh" she asks, her voice as sweet as honey.
"Yes" he's barely able to answer.
"But I never got that addendum" she says coyly as she looks intently at the first confined button of his shirt and plays with it between her thumb and index finger. There's a slight waiver in his voice as he says matter-of-factly "must be delayed in the mail." She giggles and continues playing with the button, the scent of him filling her nostrils and making her head swim.
"Must be" she says in a small voice.
"Damn postal service!" he adds. She shakes her head in disappointed agreement and heaves a sigh.
"Well, until I get that addendum, I'll never know for sure." She's still playing with the button and he's finding it increasingly hard to concentrate on anything but her fingers on that button, burning his flesh. That's it, he says to himself. I can't take it anymore.
"Take my word for it -I belong to you" he whispers to her his voice very thick and smoky, his eyes deeper than ever. Her heart skipped a beat.
She tries to regain composure as she says "I'm sorry, I'll have to see the proper documentation first." She hardly finishes what she is saying when his mouth descends on hers and gently but assuredly possesses it. Slowly, his kiss becomes deeper and deeper, as one hand smoothly goes up her back pulling her closer to him. Softly, she wraps her arms around his neck. All is lost to them but their kiss; a euphoric wave of loving passion and heated sentiments; of all-consuming intimacy and unbridled love. Nothing matters but their kiss.
After what seems like an eternity in a moment, he pulls away, breathless, his eyes wild. She is equally breathless, her cheeks a deep shade of pink.
At length he says "Proper enough for you?" his voice hoarse and somewhat savage. Very slowly she nods, unable to speak. His face lights up with a smile and she holds on tighter to him fearing that her legs are going to give way at any minute. He pulls her closer snuggling her against him as he gives a sigh of absolute contentment, still smiling.
She gasps in mock horror and says "What is Tamara going to say?" he lets out a hearty chuckle and kisses her again.

Whispers of the Heart

2007-08-23T17:28:00.002+03:00

"There are certain things in life when you come across, your heart whispers their name to you. These are the things you should pay attention to, for these whispers are much louder and more profound than the screams of life. These are what really matter and live with you....eternally"

Equality and the Modern Woman

2007-08-09T15:43:00.000+03:00

What Women Want magazine bulished this for me in their July 2007 issue

This is a piece that What Women Want magazine published for me in their July '07 issueI do not believe women and men are equal, I also do not believe they are the same, and I certainly do not believe there is no difference between man and woman! What are you, nuts?!There, I said it!By now, a lot of male chauvinists are probably enjoying what I, a female, am saying, and a lot of unyielding feminists cannot believe what they are reading, and written by a modern-day female! I have also probably managed to turn off a whole bunch of other people by now with my apparent gibberish; but, if there is anyone still reading, this is what I mean…Anatomically we are not equal, physically we are not equal, emotionally we are not equal, so how, in God’s name, can we be considered equal? It is like comparing apples and oranges just because they are both from the fruit family and happens to be round-shaped; apples and oranges are not equal, the comparison just would not make any sense. But… in no way does that automatically make one superior to, or better than the other, that also would not make sense. Each one had its own purpose and its uniqueness.Men and women are peers though, and they are on an even keel as a species. There is no unspoken, but well-known organizational hierarchy, or anything like that, other than what we enforce on each other, or allow to be set for us. Although each one of them does need to take the lead ever so often for certain issues that they are better equipped to handle. That is not derogatory to either one of them, of course, that becomes a factor depending on how the parties involved deal.For example, and I know there will be attempts on my life after this, housework. There is nothing wrong with a woman running a house and actually excelling at it, be known for her domestic prowess, or actually enjoying being a house wife. Just like there is nothing wrong with a man doing the same. Come on people, get real, what is the problem with being in charge of changing the bed sheets and scrubbing the kitchen floor? I do not see where the degradation or insult is. I mean really, somebody has to do it, and just because the female of the house does it does not make it her God-assigned job, it also does not make her inferior, and if it is the guy’s designated job he is not a sissy for it. Seriously, some people need to stop thinking out of their nostrils, and actually use their brains. So that is one stereotype flushed down he toilet, what other snot-sill ideas have we begun to foster in the global quest to equality of boys and girls, oh yeah, etiquette or lack there of. What is up with the no holding the door open or crowding women into, or out of passage ways? It is bad enough that men no longer stand up when women walk into a place, but equality has nothing to do with being rude. It is like some guys are thinking “you want us to be equal toots, OK then, get out of my way or I will elbow you out of my way. Tit for tat, doll face.All stereotypes and sarcasm aside let us try to set this equality thing straight, shall we? It has gotten so distorted from what I like to call “Eftekasat Syndrome” that is Arabic slang for the foreigners out there. For me it represents two shots sophistry, one shot splitting hairs, a healthy dose of nitpicking and a dollop of silliness, all shaken in a scrambled brain that cannot be bothered to think straight, resulting in a cocktail of ludicrous ideas and notions that let go of the core and pick holes at the insignificant strands. The problem is that we have lost sight of what really matters, what is really important, and that is mutual respect and appreciation, not who does what, who has the bigger paycheck and who is the “leader”, the status is not what identifies you, you identify the status. The human is what matters, regardless of the gender, you do not get a Medal of Honor or ranking just because you are one gender or the other, and it is silly that a lot of us implicitly believe that.The problem does not lie in actions like cooking, cleaning or providing for the family, the problem is way beyond that, those are just outcomes, the inputs are the real pickle; inputs like what we really think in the deep recesses of our minds, what we actually believe deep down inside, what has been ingrained in our psyches ever since we were kids. Do we really believe we are peers, or are we just paying lip service? Do we actually understand what it really means? A lot of us do not, a lot of us, from both genders. If we did, we would not do things like enforce different curfews in the same household for two kids, just because one of them has the X chromosome –and of course everyone knows she would be the one with the earlier curfew. We would not agree to silliness such as a guy can date and be “experienced” and be considered “me2atta3 el samaka we delha” with a congratulatory smirk, while if a girl does the same society at large still would consider a slut! Come on, pause and think about it for a second, unless the guy is batting for the other team (which is a whole other story, for an entirely different day), who is he “dating”, and becoming a world-class connoisseur with? You guessed it: girls! So how does that work exactly? As long as it is not the girl of this family going out with guys, the males of the same family can go out with the girls of other families? Now this is double standard par excellence! Hypocrisy on a lot of different levels it is funny in an idiotic way. It is as if those families have their heads buried so deep in the sand and for so long, that the excess blood flow shooting to their heads has permanently affected their grey matter!Growing up, one of the things I had always admired about my parents, even before realizing I did, was their total and complete equality rule; they had always worked very hard and at being impartial and unbiased with my siblings and my self. Two girls with a middle boy, we had the same curfew that was pushed back for each one according to their age, which meant I could stay out later than my brother because I was older. We also had the zero-tolerance rule for going out on New Year’s Eve: NO ONE went out on New Year’s Eve. My father would say “None of my kids will go out on that day with all the crazy riffraff out there, coming out of the woodwork –it’s too dangerous.” Now, I used to huff and puff in disagreement, but once I began to realize that discrimination thing, I could not help but respect the man. Another thing that was a really big, color feather in my cap was the fact that my parents would allow my sister to stay out late with me up to my curfew because she was with me, her older sister. Do you realize how big that is for a teenager? Your parents are subliminally embedding in the minds of your younger siblings that you are their older, go-to sibling, you are their rock, you are their salvation when the going gets tough, even from their parents if need be. Sure it ups the ante for you later on, but it is totally worth it. of course at the time I had no idea the full extent of their practical versus academic education, then I was just interested in showing off my “older sister” power to my friends, and the smugness of bestowing the great privilege of hanging out with me on my kid sister; but you know what, this is an honest to God real-life example of what gender-blind respect really is.I think this is probably where the problem lies: a lack of a clear understanding of gender-blind respect. For the most part, we do not really practice person-entitlement, versus guy-entitlement. Meaning, if my father and mother had no true respect for the man and women my siblings and my self were to become later on, they would not have given each one of us our privileges and responsibilities based on our actions and place in the sibling hierarchy, and instead stuck with the generally-enforced, discriminatory guy versus girl thing, hence guy entitlement and not the enlightened person entitlement. Sure my father instilled in my brother the notion that he is the man, but a responsible, take care of your sisters, protect, love, and pamper them man. He always used to tell him, in a man-to-man kind of voice: “If you and I don’t protect and nurture your sisters and mother, then who will?” I am not laying it on thick, I swear to you, but my father and brother made us feel like their precious jewels -true to form princesses, I swear.Just so that you do not think that we are the perfect family you anything, my parents did over indulge us as well, they pampered us sill a lot of the time; we grew up kids who did not pick up after themselves, we had housekeepers who did that. I was 16 I think when my mother realized that this attitude will not do us any good and began re-educating us on keeping house. At first, she focused on us girls, and my brother was mostly left to his messy ways. In her defense, she did catch on and worked on him eventually, and as much as she adores each and every one of us, she was tough with him until she broke him in. now, I have one of my favorite cups of coffee from my dear brother.So why is it that we still do not fully comprehend gender-blind respect? A friend of mine has the theory that it is because of us females. She says that we are at the root of it, we are the educators, and if the outcome is a society of gender-biased, discriminatory people, then the problem lies in the primary conditioning and education, which is ultimately brought forward by the women –the mothers.I have to agree with her. Female oppression has come a long way since the days of “Si El Sayed”, but it does not seem that the Egyptian woman psyche has fully taken the ride. We need to stop whining and blaming oppression and take some action. If we really want this so-called equality, we need to walk the walk as well, not just talk the talk. We have to teach our kids the true meaning of gender-blind respect, we have to throw out gender biases and stereotypes and kill off all kinds of hypocrisy. We have to cast out once and for all, the prejudicial cobwebs plaguing our minds and maybe then they will be open to the true meaning of being peers: it is not about whose “job” it is to cook and clean, or do this and that –nothing is set in stone. Sure men’s God-given role is to lead, but He also said that they have to earn that privilege: how can a man who beats his wife and forces her to work, while he purposefully remains unemployed, be considered a leader? And, women have to shoulder part of the problem as well: if a woman backs down every time and allows people to walk all over her, how can she expect to be respected for the human being that she is? There is definitely room for improvement all around. So in the end, we are not equal because we are definitely not the same. We are peers and we should treat each other with educated respect, and not blind bias. Status is a hard-earned privilege not a birth right.

Summer Lovin'

2007-08-09T15:39:00.000+03:00

This is a piece that What Women Want magazine featured for me in their August '07 issue

I have no idea what brought this topic to my mind. Honestly. I was sitting there thinking one day (it has been known to happen every once in a while), when out of no where, the idea popped in my mind. Maybe it is the summer season, maybe it is lack of oxygen to the brain, I honestly do not know, but I have come to realize something about most humans and their romantic endeavors. I am pretty sure though that I am not the only one who has come across this, so, it is not an epiphany or anything, just a random thought, taking form in my hazy mind: I have come to realize that in love, as with most other matters, we over analyze and under focus (if there is such a thing), and we get in our own way, and go against letting things run their own course.The problem probably lies in staking too much on a potential relationship from the very beginning. Without realizing, you go in thinking this is the end all to be all, so you stress out when things do not go as planned, which usually means that things begin to go even more wrong. So you stop having fun, and then it is the beginning of the end; and just like that, a perfectly good relationship goes down the drain. Cue in “The Fling”: a relaxed, laid back, state of mind that by definition means, short term, stress free, no pressure fun. What could be better? Think about it, you go in not expecting much; you are totally mellow and malleable, willing to go with the flow: perfect feather in the wind situation. Out goes stress and pressure, phobias and expectations. It is beyond me what we do not use this frame of mind more often.But let me give you a little bit of context so that you do not think that I am a total no commitments, serial dating advocate. What I am trying to say is: take a step back, a deep breath, stop and smell the roses, and give yourself the chance to enjoy what is out there. You already know what it is that you are really looking for on the long term, but what about the meantime? While on the surface the two might seem mutually exclusive, they really are not. Who knows, you could end up finding your long term in the fling. What is to say that you won’t? In fact, odds are because you are not obsessing, you will be more open and receptive, which increases your chances in finding the elusive it. I am not saying that you should date everything with a pulse out there, hardly. In fact, be picky, do not go out with just anyone, but do not hold off until you find the one with everything on your list either. Be reasonable. Be open to the ones who show promise, who have some, or even a couple of the stuff on your list, even if they are not from the top five things. When was the last time you revised that list anyway? And even if you have revised it recently, did you set it in stone or something? I did not think so.The worst thing a person can do to them self is going into an experience with the frame of mind that they already know the outcome. Trust me, I know, and the truth of the matter is, they really do not know. Even if the outcome ends up exactly as they had predicted. This is probably because they were subliminally acting in the way they are expecting, because they already know the result, so they just find what they are looking for, like a homing device. They are basically living in their very own self-fulfilling prophecy, and that is because you really do invariably find what you are looking for. But here is the real disaster: when one starts an experience with the notion that they already know how it is going to end, instead of actually experiencing the process, instead they are missing out on a whole lot of new happenings, circumstances, feelings and awarenesses that they could have otherwise cognitively gone through. To me that is just a total waste of something that they will probably never get the chance to genuinely experience again. Of course another reason for someone realizing a potential outcome of whatever situation they are about to go through, would be that they are really good at reading signs, but still that does not say anything other than their predictions happened to coincide with reality’s decisions. But even with accurate predictions, or well calculated guesses, you never really know the outcome for sure until it is really there, simply because you have no control over anything; and I really do mean anything. I can sense some skeptics out there not believing me. Alright then, stop your heart from beating right now. See I told you. We humans tend to forget that we control nothing. We are so proud of our science and technology and crap that we end up believing that we are masters of the universe. Please! Just think of what hell it is to be constipated. Something as simple as a bad bowel movement can shoot your entire world totally out of focus. Masters of the universe in deed! The more we hold on and try to regulate and rule, the more we stress and things go haywire.In the spirit of summer, which is all about letting loose and having fun, give yourself the chance to experience new things. Look at situations differently. Reconsider the guy you turned down for a harmless date, because you just cannot imagine yourself with him a year from now. So what, maybe he really is not long term material and maybe you are just being too tough, but either way, you will never know for sure until you actually go through the experience. Think of it this way, what is the worse that could happen? As long as you do not have your date in a doorless, windowless prison cell, you can always leave if he really is too abominable for you to stand going through the whole thing. On the other hand, if nothing comes out of it other than that one date, it would have been a nice change of scenery, you made a new friend, you had a nice meal, or you just went somewhere instead of spending the night at home. That does not sound like a raw deal to me.So get your grease on everybody, snap your fingers to the beat and sing with me… “Summer lovin’ had me a blast, summer lovin’…”

Can Men and Women Be "Just" Friends?

2007-08-09T15:36:00.001+03:00

This is a piece that What Women Want magazine featured for me in their August '07 issue

The opposite sex; do we love ‘em? Do we hate ‘em? Can we befriend ‘em? Can we have a platonic friendship with them? Or will one party always want more?I say yes, yes, yes and yes. This, of course applies to both sides, we love each other, we hate each other, and we can be friends; actually best of friends, at least that has been the story of my life. For the greater part of my life, the majority of my closest friends have been guys. Although, generally speaking, we cannot deny that no matter what, there will always be the off chance that in any given different gender friendship, one of parties involved in said friendship, could, inadvertently, end up wanting more than just friendship.Let us try to break down the dynamics of the male female friendship. I don’t know, but speaking from experience, for some reason guy friends have always given me the best possible advice, honest opinions, and the greatest insights, sometimes insights that I would have never realized on my own in a million years. I am not 100% sure about this, but maybe it is because there would never be any kind of competition between us, meaning, that being both heterosexuals, we look for the same things but on different sides of the spectrum, therefore we can both relate to each other and empathize with one another, but would never step on each other’s proverbial toes, since our hunting grounds are significantly different. Or maybe the friendships can work so well because jealousy and “cattiness” would never exist, so the guy would be more readily willing to compliment his female friend, and a girl would be able to be more trusting of a guy’s opinion about, say her new outfit or hairstyle, or any such thing, since he would never be jealous of her looks, or the attention she is getting. Petty I know, but it has been known to happen between girls, and close friends at that! All of this sounds fine and dandy, but does it readily exist? All the time? With no friction, and/or awkwardness? Ever? Hmmm, I do not think that it would, at least not in all cases, and unconditionally. Do you know why? It is simple really. It is because of the same reason the combination seemed to work so well in the first place: because they are heterosexuals and do not compete for the same thing. Let me try to explain this conundrum. Being healthy boys and girls, we are naturally wired to be attracted to each other and to attract one another. So the good friends could end up subliminally attracting one another, with or without realizing it. Well, they cannot really help it, it is in their programming. This is getting confusing, right?! So does this mean that boys and girls are not likely to be friends, and only friends? Well, yes and no. I like to call it “friends who flirt”: they are friends and everything, but since both are inherently the species of the other one’s desire, there is the occasional flirting session or two…or three. They have a friendship, but it is not friendship straight up, it has a shot of sexual appeal mixed in. Simply put, they completely appreciate, value and respect the amity they have to offer one another, but they also appreciate, value and acknowledge each other’s gender attraction. It is a bit dicey, but it does happen; trust me, it really does. The way I see it, this inevitable relationship intersection usually leads to one of two outcomes: they get over the flirting and really become platonic friends, or take it a step further and become romantically involved. I know of quite a lot of couples in different stages of “coupledom” who first started out as friends, and the interaction that I witness between them is just lovely, endearing and completely heart warming. Of course, if romance is not meant to be and the two friends move past the flirting and remain steadfast friends, their relationship becomes rock solid, and possibly life long, save for out side circumstances intervening. Obviously there is another conclusion to the flirting, and that is the two end up no longer being friends; but if that is the case, then I do not think they were really friends, as friends really ought to be, to begin with, but rather acquaintances disguised as friends. Not everybody I have spoken to about this topic agrees with me, in fact, one or two of my good female friends (yes I did manage to find me a couple of good ones) strongly disagree with me, stating that male and female friendships are a myth. According to them there is always an edge, someone wanting something else other than friendship. They say that some of them even go so far as to pretend to want to be friends, just so that they can end up reaching their true end game. Following the theory that mixed gender friendship is not a reality, this is why when one of the two gets married their friendship fizzles out a little bit if not completely. While I do not totally disagree with this viewpoint, I do not totally agree with it either. I think it really does depend on the dynamics of any particular cross gender friendship. Nothing is that cut and dry in life, let alone human interactions. Maybe part of the original appeal of embarking on a male female friendship really is that innate sexual appeal. If that really is the case, then somebody tell me what would be wrong with that? It all boils down to what it is that you do with what you have, doesn’t it? So you have a potential friendship with someone who could possibly be attracted to you, I say you take it on and see where it takes you; you either become true friends, romantically involved, or nothing at all. Simple. In the end it is up to you to decide: can a totally platonic friendship exist between a male and a female?

My Birthday This Year

2007-07-01T15:41:00.001+03:00

Published for me by What Women Want magazine in their July 2007 issue

My birthday is today, July 1st. I turned an undisclosed number of years (stick around I might disclose it later, who knows). But what does it mean anyway, turning an X number of years? The cliché answer is age is just a number… not really. It is not a number for menopausal women, or 20 year olds wanting to get into a bar.

Think back to different ages you reached in multiples of, let us say, 5 years. Emotionally, biologically, psychologically and cognitively you were significantly different, to say the least. Laugh out heartily if any of this rings a bell for you.

You're 20, you feel empowered, you are no longer a lame teen, you cannot believe that you used to hang posters of those teen idols you practically worshipped (you know which ones). You feel very sophisticated, you are in college, and you seem to be able to process information in a whole new way. You seem to see life in a whole new light; you cannot believe you never saw it before. “Oh my God I was so silly!” you think you have arrived, you know all there is to know. You are so proud of what you seem to have accomplished. Now all you have to do id watch out for the popular kids think, you have to be like them, that is the way to be.

Fast forward five more years, you are now 25; you have officially joined the working forces, none of that training, ushering, and summer job crap anymore. You realize there is a whole new layer of thinking and information processing. You encounter a new set of culture shocks, you realize it is either sink of swim, you are in the big leagues now kid, and you are on your own. You notice yet another new way to analyze things; you cannot believe you used to believe what you believed when you were 20. “Oh my God, I was so silly!” yet again, you think you have arrived, this time for real. Now, you know for sure you know all there is to know. You give yourself a part nostalgic, part all-knowing smirk to your “old ways” and begin to embrace your “new enlightened ways.” World, here I come!

Moving ahead five more years; you are 30, much calmer, and more poised. All the noises in your head are finally quieting down, allowing you to finally think. The layers of muck, dust, confusion, and self-doubt begin to peel off and you see the world in a completely and utterly different way, it is like someone has finally turned the switch on. You realize there are no rules, no regulations, but that is OK. Life is messy and unpleasant, but no problem, it is beautiful all on its own. Now you really do know that you were a very silly cow, but so what, silly is good, healthy even. You are no longer mortified at having been silly; in fact, you make sure to be silly as much as you can. You realize that life is just one big farce, and you take it in stride, even enjoy it, warts and all. You finally realize you are better off embracing what you cannot change for the sake of you sanity; you can finally identify what are the things that you cannot change. You laugh more, genuine heartfelt laughs. For the first time in your life you confidently admit to yourself that the most important relationship in your life is your relationship with yourself. You finally truly love you.

If we were to sum up each age in one sentence it could probably be something like this.

15 year-old –it's about: I have to have this game, or my life will be over.

20 year-old –it's about: I have to have these pair of jeans, or I will be case out by the cool kids.

25 year-old –it's about: I have to act sophisticated and world weary, or they won’t take me seriously.

30 year-old –it's about: I have to enjoy myself and life as they are, or else it’s not worth it.

The older you get the more introspective you become, the more introspective you become the better you understand you inner workings and the crazy way of the world. The better you begin to understand those enigmas, the closer you come to peace of mind, heart and soul: the linchpins to long life :)

You are not defined by your age, but rather what you have done with your years; the kind of person you have become, how you deal, what you have accomplished with your life. This is the true measure of the length of time you have spent roaming this Earth. But what is an accomplishment? By definition, an accomplishment is: the completion or fulfillment of something. During my Earth-roaming years, I have found out that nothing in life is black and white, so an accomplishment can be building rockets, having the habit of saying thank you while meaning it, and everything in between.

With that in mind, and on the occasion of my new year in this loco world, I decided to take stock of my undisclosed number of years, but with a new, more merciful eye. I decided to finally give myself a break; it cannot be all that bad, can it? I am alive, healthy, loved and in full possession of all of my mental and physical faculties.

So what have I been doing? To name a few things, I have loved my family, my friends, and stayed true to my ever evolving identity. I was never a hypocrite or false, never crass or unduly rude (hey, I’m no angel). I have screwed up, and broken things; I have failed miserably and cried burning tears. I have also managed to pick myself up and start again. I have learned from most of my mistakes (some I just keep repeating, but who said that I am not a work in progress). I have held on to my appreciation of the little things in life: a dewy morning… the call of the nightingale… a baby coo; the things that dare you not to smile. I also managed to get over many of my fears, not the least of which: daring to write my thoughts and sharing them with people.

Then there are the somewhat usual accomplishments: got an education, got a job, got promotions, bought a car, saved money and invested it, that sort of thing.

But… my biggest accomplishment by far is unconditionally loving myself and cutting me some slack.

So right now, I have 31 years of accomplishments under my belt, maybe not all of the accomplishments I had had planned for myself as a kid, but what did I know then anyway, I was fantasizing, and besides, I am not done yet. And maybe those accomplishments are not in line with what convention and society have regulated, but who cares? I know I finally, really and truly don’t, and that in itself is a major accomplishment. So for my birthday this year I am giving myself a warm, heartfelt pat on the back, and a “you rock girl!” I have taken this life of mine for a test drive for the past 31 years and worked out the major kinks; the fun is about to begin. Watch out people!! :)